How to Make Conversations Click

Research suggests that asking questions that show you're listening is a great way to make conversations click.  Since not all questions are equal, here are 3 tips.
​
Conversations help us forge and deepen connections.  And they are essential to our well being.  Sometimes, though, we avoid conversations because we fear they may become tedious, awkward, or even confrontational.  

Writing in the Journal of the American Psychological Association, Zara Abrams notes that one of the best ways to make conversations click is to ask questions.  But be conscious of how you do this:

• Avoid answering your own questions: Some people believe that asking a question makes their conversation partner feel included. But not waiting for a reply can actually alienate your listener. 

• Ask follow up questions:  Follow-up questions prove you were paying attention and show your conversation partner that you want to know more.  Speed daters who ask more follow-up questions are more likely to get a second date!  

• A good conversation has a good rhythm: A conversation can be like a dance.  It might speed up or slow down, and there may be pauses—like in a tango.  Effective listening tends to lead to moments of quiet, and that’s linked to higher satisfaction among participants.  When someone responds too quickly to something very thoughtful or personal, or not quickly enough when you were expecting a spirited back-and-forth, they aren’t "dancing" with you in an enjoyable way.

Do you have a go-to conversational style that works for you?  And what do you do to show you're listening?  To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

---