How to Stop Unsolicited Advice

What’s the best way to respond when a co-worker makes a suggestion you didn’t ask for and don’t want?  Try these 4 specific replies. 

Everybody has an opinion.  But what if you don’t want to hear it?  Maybe you are in the middle of a meeting or a presentation detailing a carefully crafted plan when a co-worker derails you.  Maybe you want a specific piece of information from your boss, but they take the opportunity to turn a simple query into an impromptu coaching session. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of Trust Yourself:  Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work, offers  strategies for setting boundaries around unsolicited input with tact, respect, and a comfortable level of assertiveness.

• Frame your ideas as decisions, not discussions:  Instead of saying, “I’m thinking of doing X,” try saying, “I’ve decided to do X, and the benefits will include Y and Z.”  There will be less likelihood that you will get pushback, and a better chance you will get assistance.
• Show that there’s already support:  Demonstrate that your idea already has backing — perhaps from higher-ups, vendors, partners, or customers.  This is called leveraging the power of social proof, and it gives you validity.  
• Combine a compliment and a boundary:  To politely regain control of a conversation, signal that while you value someone’s input, you’re not currently looking for additional ideas.  When time is limited, try phrases like, “Thanks for engaging.  We’re on a deadline, and we’ll keep your ideas in mind for the future.”  
• Directly ask for what you need:  Be clear about what types of input you are open to.  For example, “I’d deeply value your input on how to reach more applicants.”

When was the last time you received unsolicited advice at work and how did you respond?  To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

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