The Leadership Trap: When Helping Holds Everyone Back

When leaders become the go-to fixer, they break something bigger: Team trust, ownership, and momentum...

Being supportive is great — but trying to fix everything yourself? That’s a fast track to burnout. When you jump in to solve your team’s problems, you end up clogging decision-making, taking ownership away from your team, and wearing yourself out.

But there’s a better way. Leaders who involve their teams in solving problems together build stronger, more engaged teams — and they don’t have to carry the whole load alone.

In the Harvard Business Review, Elizabeth Lotardo, a leadership coach and author, suggests five simple questions leaders can ask to stay supportive without becoming the go-to fixer:

1. What have you tried?  
   This encourages team members to take the first step before asking for help. After a while, your team will come to anticipate this question.
2. What’s getting in your way?  
   Helps identify blockers and patterns that might need attention. Perhaps you, as leader, can remove the obstacle without taking ownership of the entire problem.
3. What support do you need?
   Do not add “from me.”  Support can come from another leader, a teammate, an adjacent department, or an outside source.
4. What would you do if you were in my place?
   When you solve every problem your team often does not see the effort involved. Asking this question prompts employees to take some responsibility. 
5. What’s your next step?
   Keeps momentum going and reinforces ownership.

These questions aren’t just conversation starters — they’re tools to build confidence, clarity, and collaboration.

Are you a reflexive problem-solver, and how can you see the value in giving people the space to work things out themselves? To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

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