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For Thanksgiving and Beyond...An Attitude of Gratitude

11/26/2019

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Saying “thank you” is the ultimate win/win. Research shows that expressing gratitude increases feelings of personal well-being. As Americans approach our official day of giving thanks, perhaps all of us can take a moment to consider how we might make gratitude an ongoing part of our lives.

If you are looking for someone to practice your “thank you” on, start close to home. John Gottman, Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute of Seattle says: “Masters of relationships have a habit of scanning the world for things they can thank their partner for. People whose relationships go down the tubes scan the world for their partner’s mistakes.”   (Tweet it!)

What happened when you upped the level of thanks you expressed to people around you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs.  

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How to Disagree Skillfully

11/19/2019

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With events like the 2020 election looming, we may all be wondering if it is possible any longer to have civilized disagreements. 

Creating a sense of psychological safety is essential to productive conversation. Peter Boghossian, assistant professor of philosophy at Portland State University, and writer and researcher James Lindsay, authors of How to Have Impossible Conversations, offer three tips for disagreeing skillfully: 
​
  • Introduce scaling: ​Avoid yes/no stalemates by asking “How strongly do you feel about that position on a scale of 1 to 10?”
 
  • Use “the disconfirmation question”: Restate their position clearly, then ask: “Under what conditions might you change your mind? What evidence might sway you?” 
 
  • Remember the “unread library”: People often confuse the ability to know something with actually knowing it. Start by admitting you might not know enough to hold a firm position and ask for additional details.  (Tweet it!)   If your conversation partner is an expert, you will learn something; if not, you may both learn you need to learn more. 

Do your disagreements tend to find common ground…or not? What happens when you try one or more of these techniques? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.

If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs.  

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The Rewards of Casual Friendships

11/12/2019

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Do you enjoy casual bonds with people at your gym, with other parents at your kids’ soccer games, or perhaps with your mail carrier or dental hygienist? Sociologist Mark Granovetter calls these low-stakes relationships “weak” ties, and research by Granovetter and others shows they can have a positive impact on our well-being. They help us feel more connected to other social groups and our community at large, causing us to feel less lonely and more empathic. The mini-network aspect of casual ties can also lead to useful recommendations that help simplify our lives (as in, “Hey do you know a good hair stylist or dry cleaner?”)

In short, the more casual ties we have, the happier we are. But some of us don't make the small investment necessary to cultivate such ties. “A lot of us think it’s not worth our time to have those kinds of interactions, that they can’t possibly provide any meaning,” says Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Essex. “We’re focused on whatever is next and we don’t stop and take that second to enjoy the moment.”

Taking a few minutes to engage with people we see regularly at places we frequent will increase life satisfaction. So, give yourself permission to talk to familiar faces, and manage your expectations. If you expect the conversation to be enjoyable, it probably will be.  (Tweet it!)

Would you say you have numerous casual ties in your community? In what ways do you find they enhance your life? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs.  

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Limiting Kids' Screen Time

11/5/2019

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“In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: Those who let their attention and lives be controlled and coerced by others, and those who proudly call themselves ‘indistractable.’”   
​(Tweet it!) 

So says Nir Eyal, an instructor at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business and author of
Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. According to Eyal, the best thing we can do to raise children of the second type is to teach them how to limit their screen time.


Empowering kids with the autonomy to control their own time means helping them to learn to monitor their own behavior.
  • Start at a young age, especially once they learn to tell time.
  • Encourage skepticism: Explain that app creators work hard to keep users hooked.
  • Let them make a plan: Ask them how much screen time they think is okay and how they plan to stick to their own limit (e.g. setting a timer).
  • Don't underestimate kids’ ability to follow through: They are likely to stick with a plan they help create.
  • It’s okay to disagree: If these strategies don’t result in perfect harmony, then calm, respectful discussions are warranted.

Do you limit your kids’ screen time, and how do you do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs.  


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