All day, every day, we are faced with decisions, from what to wear to whether to pursue a new job. Even deliberating in the toothpaste aisle at the drugstore can feel overwhelming. The pandemic added even more choices to our daily routine, as we pondered safety concerns and time allocation when work and school came into our homes. Faced with too many options, we can become anxious or even paralyzed. This is “decision fatigue” -- a state of mental overload that can impede our ability to make additional choices. 
 
When decision fatigue kicks in, you may feel you just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with more decisions. This can lead to depleted self-control, causing you to avoid making certain choices entirely, to go with the default option, or to make choices that don’t align with your values.
 
In a series of experiments, researchers asked people to choose from an array of consumer goods or college course options or to simply think about the same options without making choices. The choice-makers experienced reduced self-control, less physical stamina, greater procrastination and lower performance on tasks; the choice-contemplators didn’t experience these depletions.
 
We can't entirely eliminate decision fatigue, but experts say the following can help cope with an over-abundance of choices:

• Sleep on it:  Decision fatigue builds up during the day. Sleep restores energy.
• Make some choices automatic:  For example, keep a master grocery list, and choose a consistent time to exercise or meditate.
• Enlist an advisor: Ask someone you trust to check your thinking.
• Check Your Expectations:  If you're buying a new TV or phone do you need the top model, or just one that’s workable.
• Pace Yourself:  Try not to make one decision after another. If you’ve had a demanding day filled with lots of decisions, put off making another one, if you can.

 
How do you cope with the feeling of having too many choices? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Saying “thank you” is the ultimate win/win. Research shows that expressing gratitude increases feelings of personal well being. Our official day of giving thanks isn't the only day we can say "thank you". Perhaps all of us can take a moment to consider how we might make gratitude an ongoing part of our lives.

If you are looking for someone to practice your “thank you” on, start close to home. John Gottman, Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute of Seattle says: “Masters of relationships have a habit of scanning the world for things they can thank their partner for. People whose relationships go down the tubes scan the world for their partner’s mistakes.”

What happened when you upped the level of thanks you expressed to people around you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above the photo.

Many working parents feel they're “running on empty.” Soldiering through the pandemic, juggling work-at-home and school-at-home, and now often returning to work in person has moms and dads juggling commitments and scrambling to stay on top of obligations.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Daisy Dowling CEO of Workparent coaching, offers these tips to help counter that ground-down feeling: 

• Round-Up: To maintain a sense of forward momentum, make a list of everything you’ve accomplished at your job and for your family since March 2020.
• Close it Out: The human mind craves completion. Draw a label for each phase of the pandemic (e.g. the “I-Can’t-Believe-This” phase and the “Endless-Winter-Zoom-School” phase). Then draw a line through the ones in the past and create a new label for the one you're entering now.
• Identify your Point of Control: Whether it’s doing a daily crossword or a 5-minute exercise routine or grinding the perfect cup of coffee, celebrate something you do that gives you a feeling of engagement and pleasure.
• Future Anchor:  Picture something you would like to have in your life a year from now. What does that look like for you? Keeping it firmly in mind can help you cut through daily stresses.
• Give Your Career Some Attention:  Instead of just treading water at work, put some focus on your overall career trajectory. Set aside a small amount of time each week to, for example, reach out to a former colleague or peruse LinkedIn profiles of people you admire.
• Mentor Another Working Parent: When you generously share your talent, experience, and knowledge with other people, you immediately feel more confident and capable,

 
What has been your greatest pandemic parenting challenge and how are you dealing with it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Empathy has always been a critical skill for leaders, but it is taking on a new level of meaning and priority as new research demonstrates its importance for everything from innovation to retention. Writing in Forbes, Tracy Brower PhD, author of The Secrets to Happiness at Work, says that empathy is the most important leadership competency to develop and demonstrate. 

Leaders will be most successful not just when they consider others, but when they inquire directly about employee challenges, and then listen to and paraphrase what they hear. The results?  According to a new study by Catalyst these can include:

• Innovation. When people reported their leaders were empathic, 61% were more likely to say they were able to be innovative, compared to only 13% of employees with less empathic leaders.
• Engagement. 76% of people who experienced empathy from their leaders said they were engaged compared to 32% who experienced less empathy.
• Retention. 57% of white women and 62% of women of color said they were unlikely to think of leaving their companies when they felt their life circumstances were respected and valued by their companies.
• Inclusivity. 50% of people with empathic leaders reported their workplace was inclusive, compared with only 17% of those with less empathic leadership.
• Work-Life. When people felt their leaders were more empathic, 86% reported they are able to navigate the demands of their work and life—compared with 60% of those who perceived less empathy.

Does your performance improve when you experience your leader as empathic? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

A few years ago, Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied, learned a valuable life lesson from comedian Craig Ferguson, who said he’d learned it after three marriages.

​Writing in Inc., Bariso recounted the three questions Ferguson said you should ask yourself before speaking:

1. Does this need to be said? Responding to a provocative social media post, or exploding at someone who, says, cuts in a line, may not be worth the ire it inspires. Maybe…fuggedaboutit!
2. Does this need to be said by me? Colleague late for a meeting…again? Maybe there’s someone better suited to correct them.
3. Does this need to be said by me now? Timing can be everything. If you or the person you want to speak with is in a bad mood, waiting can reap a high reward.

​This doesn’t mean you should never speak your mind, but to be mindful when you do.  Another good question to ask yourself is, “Will I regret not saying this?”
 
Do you have a stopgap technique you use to keep yourself from blurting? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Social skills correlate with career success, and lacking them can hold you back. The good news, according to Fast Company columnist Judith Humphrey, founder of the Humphrey Group leadership communication firm, is that you certainly can improve your interpersonal skill set, once you know what to focus on.
 
Here are her five concrete indicators that someone is socially adept:
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1. They show appreciation for others:  Complimenting will not make you feel seem like a suck-up. To the person being complimented it will “sound like the absolute truth.”
2. They listen deeply:  True listening is harder than you think. It helps to make eye contact, have the intent to genuinely understand, and try to sense if there is something being left unsaid.
3. They’re enthusiastic:  Upbeat, positive people give us energy to draw upon. Blamers and complainers do the opposite.
4. They use body language effectively: Social skills transcend words. Consider your facial expression and tone of voice. Align your body posture with that of the person you’re talking with.
5. They’re grateful: Saying “thank you” goes a long way, so never miss an opportunity to do so!

 
How do you ascertain whether or not a colleague is socially skilled?  To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Hybrid work is here to stay, and leaders will face challenges as they manage a workforce that is part in-person and part remote. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, management consultants Kalle Heikkinen, William Kerr, Mika Malin, and Panu Routila, offer advice based on interviews with 38 executives in Nordic countries. (Nordic leadership teams are used to operating in complex settings with employees spanning multiple nationalities, languages, and locations.)

1. The virtual world does not treat roles and tasks equally:  Some executives and middle managers are frustrated with their level of effectiveness when they work virtually. They may need increased training and mentoring. Additionally, leaders should be aware of who does, or doesn't, have access to the best technology, and avoid judging talent until they know that employees are not being hampered by sub-par tech.
2. Nuances matter in people management:  When in-person connections are less frequent, people skills become more important than ever. “The best leaders listen and show empathy, allocate more time to team management and coaching, enable versus control, and invest more in building a culture that reaches out of the office and into people’s homes.”
3. Strong central guidance is a must:  Many executives said that, in a hybrid setting, their organizations are becoming flatter and less hierarchical. Most have sought to boost the empowerment of employees, who need to make more and quicker connections across geographies and business units.
4. Ensure Your Processes are Crisis-Proof:  The pandemic showed how quickly many organizations can change and adapt. But this is hardly likely to be the last crisis of our turbulent times. The hybrid model will allow for more flexibility and resilience going forward, but it is also necessary to carry out important organizational changes before an emergency confronts us again.

 
What do you view as the biggest obstacle to seamless hybrid working, and what will you do to address it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Anxious about returning to the office? Join the club. After over a year of remote work, many of us are feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of returning to live work and seeing co-workers on-site rather than on-screen.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Alice Boyes, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of The Anxiety Toolkit, says the idea of getting back to the office might feel surprisingly difficult. Transitions often tend to spike our anxiety; we typically feel anxious about resuming anything we’ve avoided, even if that “avoidance” was externally imposed. Additionally, in the post-pandemic world, personal relationships and boundaries may have shifted.  For example, you may be concerned about who is or isn’t vaccinated and who does or doesn’t observe health and safety protocols.
 
Boyes suggests that we all “be intentional about retaining the best parts of WFH (work from home) and office-life.”  Working from home was a vast experiment, and it probably taught you a lot about what helps or harms your productivity. It likely also taught you a great deal about how you communicate most effectively. Holding on to any beneficial habits might prove to be a challenge when your environment changes—but being conscious of them is a first step.  Beyond that, she adds, “You’ll need to establish these habits almost from day one, as if they were completely new habits. This is because habits need consistent cues, and the cues you had at home will likely no longer be present, at least not in the same way.”
 
What concerns do you have about returning to the office, and how are you preparing for this transition? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

A recent Workhuman survey of more than 3,000 U.S. workers reveals a workforce in trouble. The data show 48 percent of employees agree they've experienced burnout, 61 percent feel elevated stress levels, and 32 percent agree that they have felt lonely at work.
 
Writing in Inc., Marcel Schwartes, founder and Chief Human Officer of Leadership From the Core, says that to ease the toll of the crisis, leaders will need a more human-centered approach to management. In order to increase a sense of psychological safety and encourage cooperation and collaboration:

• Say “thank you” more often: Recognition builds connections between people. Naturally, receiving a "thank you" makes an employee feel appreciated. But showing appreciation for someone's efforts also improves positive feelings for the giver. “Mutual recognition and gratitude help people take off their emotional armor. When employees do that, they feel safer as well as more connected.”
• Check in with employees more frequently:  Only 29 percent of respondents in the Workhuman survey said they check in with their manager every week. But a weekly check-in increases a sense of psychological safety. More frequent feedback heightens growth, innovation, and inclusion.
• Build resilience Into your culture:  The “new normal” is an opportunity for a fresh start, and an increased emphasis on psychological safety. Consider formalizing appreciation and thank-you’s with a data-rich social recognition system.

 
What are you doing to lessen employee stress in your workplace? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

When employers first tried to motivate employees, their approach was almost entirely based on incentive pay: paying for piecemeal output so employees would work faster and produce more. But in our modern economy and workplace, motivation is far more complex. In a post in TED’s “How To Be A Better Human” series David Burkus, PhD., associate professor of management at Oral Roberts University and author of Under New Management, outlines three drivers of motivation according to self-determination theory (a theory of behavior that addresses people's inherent growth tendencies and innate psychological needs).

1. Autonomy: In the context of work, autonomy means people feel they have a say in what they work on and how they work on it. They feel empowered rather than micromanaged. Creating a sense of autonomy in an individual or team can come from mutually assigned objectives and deadlines, or by giving people more freedom over where they work and what they work on.
2. Competence: This refers to the desire to experience mastery. People are motivated through learning at work. To facilitate learning, managers can offer constructive feedback, give praise when warranted, and take the time to celebrate wins, large and small.
3. Relatedness: Relatedness refers to our desire to connect with others. Humans are much more motivated to take actions when they’re seen as pro-social — that is, when they’re seen as being able to help other people. Creating a sense of relatedness in an individual or on a team means making sure people build connections to each other. “But it also means making sure people know the significance of what they’re being asked to do and how it relates to the whole team and the organization’s larger objectives. Even better, you might frame the team’s work in a way that makes it quite clear exactly who is helped by the actions of the organization, the team, and even the individual.”

What motivates you at work, and how do you help motivate others? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Employees feel more engaged and satisfied with their jobs when they believe their company supports their own career and life ambitions.
 
No matter one’s job, industry, or career, we all benefit from finding a personal sense of meaning in what we do. And good managers help their employees to find their inner purpose. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Kristi Hedges, a senior leadership coach and author of The Inspiration Code suggests regular check-ins that use five areas of inquiry to help employees identify and explore their inner purpose:

1. What are you good at doing? What have you gotten noticed for throughout your career? What do you take on because you believe you’re the best person to do it? The idea here is to help people identify their strengths.
   
   
2. What do you enjoy? In a typical workweek, what do you look forward to? If you could design your job with no restrictions, how would you spend your time? These questions help people find or rediscover what they love about work.
   
   
3. What feels most useful? Which work outcomes make you most proud? Which of your tasks are most critical to the team or organization? What are the highest priorities for your life and how does your work fit in? This line of inquiry highlights the inherent value of certain work.
   
   
4. What creates a sense of forward momentum? What are you learning that you’ll use in the future? What do you envision for yourself next? How is your work today getting you closer to what you want? The goal here is to help advance toward future goals.
   
   
5. How do you relate to others? Which working partnerships feel best to you? What would an office of your favorite people look like? Does your work enhance your family and social connections? These questions encourage people to foster relationships that make their work more meaningful.

 
How did you discover your own inner purpose, and what do you do to help others find meaning at work? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Videoconferencing might not be your favorite way to relate to others. But, even post-pandemic, it looks like Zooming will be here to stay. So, we might as well do everything we can to make it enjoyable and valuable.

Writing in Inc., contributing editor Bill Murphy Jr. offered some suggestions for phrases that increase your likeability in a videoconference setting:

• “Why don't you take this one?” This phrase is designed to be a positive springboard for someone else. Use this phrase when you're asked something a colleague would want to answer—especially if your colleague is less likely, due to temperament or position, to speak up in front of others.
• “I did what you suggested. Thank you.” People love being listened to and getting credit for their ideas. These seven words offer validation and appreciation for someone else’s contribution.
• “Congratulations.” Seek out opportunities to say this. If you learn positive things about people--milestones, accomplishments--write them down and then remember to congratulate them, especially in front of other people.
• “I want to introduce you to…” Not everyone on a Zoom call may know each other, and that can be disconcerting. Tell people who you want to connect them with, get their agreement, and then do so.
• “Here’s what I think.” Be as brief as you can on video calls, but if you can offer an opinion, it implies that you're paying attention and have something worthwhile to add.

Use these phrases often and they will become a habit. Until then, as a memory aid, Murphy suggests writing them on Post-It notes and pasting those around the perimeter of your computer screen.
 
Do you have any favorite phrases you use to facilitate Zoom calls? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

“We look for three things when we hire people. We look for intelligence, we look for initiative or energy, and we look for integrity. And if they don't have the latter, the first two will kill you, because if you're going to get someone without integrity, you want them lazy and dumb.”  — Warren Buffet
 
Investment icon Warren Buffet largely attributes his success to hiring the right people. And integrity is the one trait he values above all others. But, hiring managers “must dig hard in the interview process to get the answers they need to feel confident someone has the non-negotiable trait of integrity,” says executive coach Marcel Schwantes, writing in Inc.. Here are some suggested questions he proposes to get to the core of a person’s character:

1. Tell me about a specific time when you had to handle a tough problem that challenged fairness or ethical issues. What happened?
   
   
2. When was the last time you "broke the rules"?
   
   
3. Describe a situation where you saw an employee or co‐worker do something you thought was inappropriate. What did you do?
   
   
4. What values do you appreciate the most in a team environment?
   
   
5. What would your current/past manager say makes you most valuable to them? (Besides intelligence, skills, and qualifications for the job, listen for clues that point to integrity.)

How do you evaluate whether a potential hire has integrity? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

Many companies have employee recognition programs of some kind, but often they become just another box for managers to check. Instead of showing appreciation in a meaningful way, they are rote acknowledgements (e.g. a gift card for a work anniversary) disconnected from employees’ accomplishments. 
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Kerry Roberts Gibson, Kate O’Leary, and Joseph R. Weintraub, all of Babson College, revealed the results of a project in which they engaged with employees and managers through focus groups, survey questions, and learning sessions. According to employees, here’s what managers need to do more often:
 

• Touch base early and often: Saying hello to employees and checking in with them regularly goes a long way.
• Give balanced feedback. Employees want to know both what they’re doing well and where they can improve—but they don't want both kinds of feedback at the same time.
• Address growth opportunities: Employees want to know what their futures hold career-wise.
• Offer flexibility in work arrangements: Employees see this as a huge sign of trust and appreciation.
• Make it a habit: Managers should try to build expressions of appreciation into their regular routine.

 
“The best part of appreciation is that it’s free and doesn’t consume a lot of time,” say the authors. “Anyone at any level can offer appreciation. It can be directed toward an employee, a colleague, or a boss. But when leaders get involved in the effort, a culture of appreciation spreads more quickly.”
 
When was the last time you expressed appreciation at work, and how did you do it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Most of us have been in meetings that have gotten tense—maybe even gone off the rails. We've seen dueling monologues, hidden agendas and, sometimes, pure pandemonium as participants compete for attention and struggle for validation. But, according to Joseph Grenny, bestselling author and co-founder of VitalSmarts corporate training, “It can be surprisingly easy to bring order to a chaotic meeting — and to turn conflict back into conversation — if you know how.”
 
Grenny offers four steps for getting a derailed meeting back on track:
 

1. Interrupt the chaos: As you attempt to intervene, decelerate the pace of your speech. You may need to raise your voice a decibel or two to be heard, but once you’ve attracted attention, lower your voice and speed. For example, you might say, slowly and calmly, “Hey, team, let me take a moment to point out something I’m noticing.”
2. Shift to process: Lay out what appears to be happening, without assigning blame, and the consequences of continuing down the current path. Once you’ve described the situation, it's important to ask the group to confirm your observation. Once participants explicitly acknowledge the process problem, they become more likely to support the solution.
3. Propose a structure: Offer a process that ensures all will be heard and that slows the pace in order to quell the emotions. Then ask all participants to commit to it.
4. Honor the agreement: Lingering emotions may ignite a few attempts to breach boundaries. If this happens, point out the discrepancy, and ask participants if they want to continue with their commitment.

 
How did you handle the last tense meeting you were in? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.