 Leadership coach and former Navy SEAL Jeff Boss says that many of his clients ask for a 60-day or 90-day plan to improve their leadership effectiveness. It’s not that plans aren’t valuable”, he writes in Forbes, “[but] I can’t think of any mission in the SEALs that actually went according to plan.”
Better than planning is preparedness (Tweet it!) —and to that end, Boss notes the top three things that effective leaders show up with every day.
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion
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 By now you may have heard about research results confirming that surrounding yourself with positive people can make you healthier and happier (Tweet it!) (https://bit.ly/1qciYSS). But how can you enhance your exposure to these “glass half full” types?
Dan Buettner, a National Geographic fellow and author, has studied the health habits of people who live in so-called blue zones — regions of the world where people live far longer than the average. He noted that positive friendships are a common theme in the blue zones. But such relationships are not necessarily left to chance. In Okinawa, Japan, a place where the average life expectancy for women is around 90, the oldest in the world, people form a social network called a moai — a group of five friends who offer social, logistic, emotional and even financial support for a lifetime. “It’s a very powerful idea,” Mr. Buettner told The New York Times (https://nyti.ms/2A42NDv). “Traditionally, their parents put them into moais when they are born, and they take a lifelong journey together.” Mr. Buettner is working with federal and state health officials, including the former United States Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, to create moais in two dozen cities around the country. Want to create your own? The key to building a successful moai is to start with people who have similar interests, passions and values. If you’re not sure about the impact the people around you are having, the Blue Zone team has created a quiz to help you assess the positive impact of your own social network. Do you believe you have positive people around you, and how would you describe their effect on you? Do you believe you make a positive impact on others? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  The art of translation is something we don't think about much—until something goes wrong. (Tweet it!) But history abounds with consequential mistranslations—“erroneous, intentional or simply misunderstood”—says Mark Polizzotti, author of Sympathy for the Traitor: A Translation Manifesto. (https://nyti.ms/2Ltlztr).
Nikita Khrushchev’s infamous 1956 statement—“We will bury you”—ushered in one of the Cold War’s most perilous periods. But it turns out the Soviet’s actual declaration was “We will outlast you.” And the response of Kantaro Suzuki, prime minister of Japan, to an Allied ultimatum in July 1945—days before Hiroshima—was conveyed to Harry Truman as “silent contempt” (“mokusatsu”), when it was actually intended as “No comment. We need more time.” Japan was not given more time. Myriad examples go back through antiquity. But lately, the perils of potential mistranslation have taken on renewed urgency. Free-form tweets in one’s native idiom instantly reach a global audience. But the nature of tweets, with their fractured syntax and frequent idioms, can lend themselves to misinterpretation. Careful and thorough reading of translated material can literally make the difference between war and peace. If we are aiming for a global audience, we must consider the difficulties that hastily crafted communications may pose to foreigners. Likewise, we must try to ensure that the translations we read and hear are accurate. Have you ever been misled by a poor or incomplete translation? What were the consequences? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Being perceived as having or not having a certain accent has profound consequences. (Tweet it!) Preconceptions about accents can lead to discrimination in job interviews, performance evaluations and access to housing, to name just a few areas. According to linguist Roberto Rey Agudo of Dartmouth College, “Too often, at the hospital or the bank, in the office or at a restaurant — even in the classroom — we embrace the idea that there is a right way for our words to sound and that the perfect accent is one that is not just inaudible, but also invisible.” But as Professor Agudo also points out, “No one speaks without an accent.” (New York Times)
The “standard accent” in the United States—the one we tend to hear in the media—is still an accent. Perhaps one key difference is that the standard accent is never mocked, unlike many nonnative accents or American variants, such as Southern Drawl, Valley Girl, or New York “Fuhgedaboudit.” Such judgments are purely social, says Agudo. “To linguists, the distinctions are arbitrary. However, the notion of the neutral, perfect accent is so pervasive that speakers with stigmatized accents often internalize the prejudice they face.” What we all must remember is that accent by itself is a poor measure of language proficiency (the linguistic equivalent of judging a book by its cover). It does not reflect strength of vocabulary, or capability to provide detail or to hold one’s own in an argument. Instead, we should become aware of our linguistic biases and learn to listen more deeply before making judgments. Do you think you have an accent, and how would you characterize it? Do you think you have ever, perhaps unwittingly, pre-judged anyone based on their accent? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  People like getting thank you notes. So why do so few of us send them? (Tweet it!) According to Amit Kumar, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin who studies well-being, it’s because people underestimate the appeal of receiving an appreciative email. In a study conducted by Kumar and Professor Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago (https://nyti.ms/2zZyRIE), researchers found that people also fear that the note may appear insincere and might make the recipient feel uncomfortable.
In the study, over 100 participants in each of four experiments were asked to write a short “gratitude letter” to someone who’d affected them in some way. Sample letters included expressions of thanks to friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and other stressful times. After receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were “ecstatic,” scoring their happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they’d evoke a 3. Dr. Kumar observed that it took most subjects less than five minutes to write the letters. So, what are people waiting for? Along with underestimating the value of sending such notes to others, many seemed to be concerned with how much their writing would be scrutinized. As it turned out, most recipients didn’t care how the notes were phrased; they cared about warmth. And they also tended to judge the writing itself as very competent. In all, says Dr. Kumar, “People tend to undervalue the positive effect they can have on others for a tiny investment of time.” When is the last time you sent a thank you note, and what was the response? When was the last time you received one, and how did it make you feel? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Employees might dislike open office plans, but at least they help employees collaborate and build a sense of teamwork, right? Well, nope. (Tweet it!)
Ethan Bernstein and Stephen Turban, of Harvard Business School and Harvard University, took a look at employees who switched from individual cubicles to an open office plan. What they found wasn't more collaboration after the switch but less (https://bit.ly/2KYeywv). The participants in the study, whose roles included sales, technology and human resources:
Although it is probably no surprise that employees have expressed negative feelings about open plan offices, both in terms of lost privacy and adverse effects on communication, this is the first study to provide an objective measure of the impact of an open-plan space on how people interact. “While it is possible to bring chemical substances together under specific conditions of temperature and pressure to form the desired compound, more factors seem to be at work in achieving a similar effect with humans,” the researchers said. “Until we understand those factors, we may be surprised to find a reduction in face-to-face collaboration at work even as we architect transparent, open spaces intended to increase it. Have you ever worked in an open space office? What was your preferred method of communication with co-workers while you did, and why? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  A Gallup report reveals that millennial career happiness is down while disengagement at work climbs: 71% of Millennials aren't engaged on the job, and half of all those employed plan to leave within a year. Bosses carry the responsibility for 70% of employee engagement variances.
When Millennial employees feel supported by their boss, their happiness on the job soars — as does company success. (Tweet it!) But building a healthy relationship involves the efforts of both parties. Writing in Forbes, “Under 30” columnist Sarah Landrum advises, “When you’re first hired, you should get to know your company’s culture and closely watch your boss as you learn the ropes.” Among variables to consider:
Do you think your relationship with your boss could be improved? What actions are you taking to make that happen? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Aaarrgghhh! Sometimes you just want to rant, right? Everyone needs to blow off steam at times. (Tweet it!) Writing in The New York Times, Carl Richards, author of the book The Behavior Gap, suggests that ranting can be a good thing…”But only if you do it right. If you do it wrong, the consequences can cost you your job, your friendships or even your marriage (https://nyti.ms/2kfHQuH).
To rant productively, says Richards, follow four guidelines:
Draft a conscious conversation. After your rant has cleared your head and emotions, begin to consciously consider how to raise the issue with the subject of your rant. Or, if you decide that it was as much about you as that person, put it away and move on. What’s the last thing you ranted about, and how, where, and with whom did you do it? Did it help to get it off your chest? Did you follow up with the person who upset you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  These days, everyone’s a critic! And research suggests we’re more likely to give credence to negative reviews than positive ones. (Tweet it!) But just how credible are those one-star slams?
Online buyers, trip planners, moviegoers…we all use online reviews to help us choose. In fact, the Pew Research Center found that 82 percent of American adults say they sometimes or always read online reviews for new purchases. But while more than two-thirds of regular review readers believe they’re “generally accurate,” marketing data indicate that negative reviews in particular dramatically influence our buying behaviors. And research on the biases and demographics of online reviewers suggests our faith in reviews is misguided. Consumers, wary of “fake” 5-star reviews, value negative ones as a “window into what could go wrong,” writes Caroline Beaton in The New York Times. But the credibility of all reviews — even real ones — is questionable. A 2016 study published in The Journal of Consumer Research looked at whether online reviews reflected objective quality as rated by Consumer Reports. The researchers found very little correlation. Reviews are subjective, circumstantial, emotional and written by a tiny subset of the population (1.5 percent). Reviews can be helpful, of course, but it's wisest to look at those closest to the median. Also pay heed to facts rather than impressions. Finally, look for thorough reviews whose authors seem driven by a genuine desire to help. Have you ever written a negative review—and under what circumstances? Do you tend to read and heed negative reviews over positive ones? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  A new study in Science quantifies the spread of Twitter rumors. Previous research tracked rumors after specific events, like the false information that swirled around the Boston Marathon bombing. In this more wide-ranging study, a team of researchers at MIT tracked falsehoods and truths using a database of every tweet written from 2006 to 2017. Bottom line: False news moves through Twitter “farther, faster, deeper and more broadly” than the truth. (Tweet it!)
As reported in The Washington Post, MIT professor Sinan Aral and colleagues observed that, “even the farthest-reaching true rumors rarely spread to more than 1,000 people. But the top 1 percent of falsehoods routinely had audiences of 1,000 to 100,000 people.” Politics got the most attention among true and false rumors, they discovered. The study authors hypothesized that falsehoods contain more novelty than truth. To that end, they measured the “information uniqueness” of rumors and discovered that false rumors were more likely to contain new, but incorrect, information. It's easier to be novel when you’re unconstrained by reality,” Aral said. Have you ever been seduced by a false Twitter rumor, or even retweeted it? Why do you think you gave it credence? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Why do most people quit their jobs? More than any other reason—more so than not liking their jobs or even not liking their bosses—it’s because they feel unappreciated. (Tweet it!) According to a study by Accenture, cited by Forbes (https://bit.ly/2M0iwES), 43 percent of employees cite lack of recognition as their key reason for heading for the door. As Forbes contributor Alan Hall writes, “When your employees say to themselves and others, ‘Where’s the love?’ you’ve got a problem.” We’ve spoken for decades about the positive power of appreciation. Telling people when their efforts have made a difference, and giving them the kudos they deserve is a powerful motivator. But beyond this, not doing so is a powerful deterrent to job satisfaction. Bottom line: You simply cannot overestimate the power of genuine and timely praise, recognition and gratitude. Have you ever quit a job or been tempted to do so because you felt under-appreciated? How do you make those around you feel appreciated? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  A recent meta-analysis in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin analyzed 26 studies on work and friendship, concluding that teams made up of friends tended to perform better than teams made up of strangers. (Tweet it!)
That said, workplace friendships can be tricky to navigate. Jessica Methot, associate professor of human resource management at Rutgers University, has long studied such relationships. Her 2015 study also confirmed that work friendships are valuable, and that employees who experience “multiplex relationships” (i.e. genuine friendships with direct co-workers) receive higher performance reviews. But these same employees also tended to report more emotional exhaustion. As Melissa Dahl, writing in the New York Times explained, “You’re playing two roles at once: friend and colleague. Friends unconditionally support each other, but colleagues can’t always do that, especially when their own reputation is at stake. It can be draining to have to decide which role to play, and when.” Work advice columnist Alison Green, who answers questions about all sorts of uncomfortable office issues on her site Ask a Manager, says that if you are in an awkward situation with a work friend you are (gulp!) going to have to talk to them. It sounds simple, but we know how resistant many people are to raising delicate issues. Approached the right way, however, conscious conversations will strengthen bonds. Choose a time when you are not angry or tired, edit out accusative language, and work together to co-create a solution. Do you have direct co-workers who are also close friends? How well do you think you communicate about sensitive work-related matters—and if you do it well, what is your secret? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  We’ve heard that failure is a necessary part of success. (Tweet it!) Now a study in the journal Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience adds a new twist. It finds that reflecting on past failures—by writing about them—may help us stay calm in the face of new challenges.
According to an article in Forbes researchers from Rutgers, The University of Pennsylvania and Duke predicted that writing about a past failure would actually reduce a person’s stress level during a stressful situation in the present, whereas writing about a random topic would have no effect. To stress the participants, they subjected them to well-known social stress tests, such as preparing a speech in five minutes, which they had to deliver in front of a “speech expert.” As predicted, people who’d written about a past failure didn’t show the typical stress response (measured by the stress hormone cortisol) compared to the control group, who’d written about movie plots. The former group also did better on the tests of attention. Why does this connection exist? The researchers say that “writing about failures may make a new stressor seem subjectively less stressful by comparison.” In other words, reflecting on past stresses makes new ones seem not so bad. Have you ever used expressive writing to help you process a disappointment at work or in your personal life? What was its effect? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Have you asked anyone to give 110 percent lately? Or, to think outside the box? If so, your words might be having a counter-productive effect.
According to a OnePoll survey of 2,000 American workers on behalf of communications technology provider Jive Communications https://wapo.st/2wZu20P, 27 percent of American workers acknowledged tuning out people who use this kind of jargon. We’re all guilty of resorting to workplace clichés at times. (Tweet it!) In fact, 72 percent admitted to habitually using these phrases. As John Pope, a senior vice president of Jive Communications says: “These phrases aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.” But, he added, “Our goal should be to use such jargon sparingly.” (https://fxn.ws/2FhGmbl). Here are the Top 10 phrases in order of cringe-worthiness:
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion  Countless couples will marry this June. Not all of them will live happily ever after. But there is a scientific secret to maintaining lasting and fulfilling relationships. Researchers say: Simply be kind. (Tweet it!)
“Longitudinal, experimental and evolutionary science all testify to the surprising power of kindness,” says Doug Carnine, PhD (www.feedkindness.com), University of Oregon Professor Emeritus and author of the book How Love Wins. Decades of research point to the centrality of kindness in stable, long-lasting relationships. In fact, kindness can even contribute to longevity itself. A study of 423 married seniors over a five-year period found that those who showed the most kindness to their spouses cut their risk of dying in half. In one study, researchers created small wounds on the arms of couples; the wounds literally healed faster in couples that were kinder to each other. As one researcher wrote, “The benefits of kindness may be more important than what you think, more so than regular physical activity and following a nutritious diet.” Being kind might be easier than you imagine. Carnine contends that we actually have a kindness instinct. “It’s one of our four basic human instincts that has evolved over thousands of years. The other three are survival, success and reproduction. The title of a recent article in Scientific American underscored the importance of the kindness instinct: Forget survival of the Fittest. It’s Kindness that Counts.” What’s the last kind thing you said or did for someone close to you? Can you remember receiving a kind act? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion |
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