Videoconferencing might not be your favorite way to relate to others. But, even post-pandemic, it looks like Zooming will be here to stay. So, we might as well do everything we can to make it enjoyable and valuable.

Writing in Inc., contributing editor Bill Murphy Jr. offered some suggestions for phrases that increase your likeability in a videoconference setting:

• “Why don't you take this one?” This phrase is designed to be a positive springboard for someone else. Use this phrase when you're asked something a colleague would want to answer—especially if your colleague is less likely, due to temperament or position, to speak up in front of others.
• “I did what you suggested. Thank you.” People love being listened to and getting credit for their ideas. These seven words offer validation and appreciation for someone else’s contribution.
• “Congratulations.” Seek out opportunities to say this. If you learn positive things about people--milestones, accomplishments--write them down and then remember to congratulate them, especially in front of other people.
• “I want to introduce you to…” Not everyone on a Zoom call may know each other, and that can be disconcerting. Tell people who you want to connect them with, get their agreement, and then do so.
• “Here’s what I think.” Be as brief as you can on video calls, but if you can offer an opinion, it implies that you're paying attention and have something worthwhile to add.

Use these phrases often and they will become a habit. Until then, as a memory aid, Murphy suggests writing them on Post-It notes and pasting those around the perimeter of your computer screen.
 
Do you have any favorite phrases you use to facilitate Zoom calls? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

“We look for three things when we hire people. We look for intelligence, we look for initiative or energy, and we look for integrity. And if they don't have the latter, the first two will kill you, because if you're going to get someone without integrity, you want them lazy and dumb.”  — Warren Buffet
 
Investment icon Warren Buffet largely attributes his success to hiring the right people. And integrity is the one trait he values above all others. But, hiring managers “must dig hard in the interview process to get the answers they need to feel confident someone has the non-negotiable trait of integrity,” says executive coach Marcel Schwantes, writing in Inc.. Here are some suggested questions he proposes to get to the core of a person’s character:

1. Tell me about a specific time when you had to handle a tough problem that challenged fairness or ethical issues. What happened?
   
   
2. When was the last time you "broke the rules"?
   
   
3. Describe a situation where you saw an employee or co‐worker do something you thought was inappropriate. What did you do?
   
   
4. What values do you appreciate the most in a team environment?
   
   
5. What would your current/past manager say makes you most valuable to them? (Besides intelligence, skills, and qualifications for the job, listen for clues that point to integrity.)

How do you evaluate whether a potential hire has integrity? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

Many companies have employee recognition programs of some kind, but often they become just another box for managers to check. Instead of showing appreciation in a meaningful way, they are rote acknowledgements (e.g. a gift card for a work anniversary) disconnected from employees’ accomplishments. 
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Kerry Roberts Gibson, Kate O’Leary, and Joseph R. Weintraub, all of Babson College, revealed the results of a project in which they engaged with employees and managers through focus groups, survey questions, and learning sessions. According to employees, here’s what managers need to do more often:
 

• Touch base early and often: Saying hello to employees and checking in with them regularly goes a long way.
• Give balanced feedback. Employees want to know both what they’re doing well and where they can improve—but they don't want both kinds of feedback at the same time.
• Address growth opportunities: Employees want to know what their futures hold career-wise.
• Offer flexibility in work arrangements: Employees see this as a huge sign of trust and appreciation.
• Make it a habit: Managers should try to build expressions of appreciation into their regular routine.

 
“The best part of appreciation is that it’s free and doesn’t consume a lot of time,” say the authors. “Anyone at any level can offer appreciation. It can be directed toward an employee, a colleague, or a boss. But when leaders get involved in the effort, a culture of appreciation spreads more quickly.”
 
When was the last time you expressed appreciation at work, and how did you do it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Most of us have been in meetings that have gotten tense—maybe even gone off the rails. We've seen dueling monologues, hidden agendas and, sometimes, pure pandemonium as participants compete for attention and struggle for validation. But, according to Joseph Grenny, bestselling author and co-founder of VitalSmarts corporate training, “It can be surprisingly easy to bring order to a chaotic meeting — and to turn conflict back into conversation — if you know how.”
 
Grenny offers four steps for getting a derailed meeting back on track:
 

1. Interrupt the chaos: As you attempt to intervene, decelerate the pace of your speech. You may need to raise your voice a decibel or two to be heard, but once you’ve attracted attention, lower your voice and speed. For example, you might say, slowly and calmly, “Hey, team, let me take a moment to point out something I’m noticing.”
2. Shift to process: Lay out what appears to be happening, without assigning blame, and the consequences of continuing down the current path. Once you’ve described the situation, it's important to ask the group to confirm your observation. Once participants explicitly acknowledge the process problem, they become more likely to support the solution.
3. Propose a structure: Offer a process that ensures all will be heard and that slows the pace in order to quell the emotions. Then ask all participants to commit to it.
4. Honor the agreement: Lingering emotions may ignite a few attempts to breach boundaries. If this happens, point out the discrepancy, and ask participants if they want to continue with their commitment.

 
How did you handle the last tense meeting you were in? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.