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The One Word You Should Never Use

4/30/2025

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Framing things positively has enormous advantages… and there is one negative word you should consider banishing for good…

If you ask someone at Disney what time the park closes, they don’t exactly tell you. What they say is that “the park is open until 10 PM.” This is an example of what Debra Jasper, CEO of Mindset Digital, refers to as “positive priming.” And she thinks it should be applied to virtually every interaction.

“Start with what you can do, not what you can’t,” she advises. If a client asks if you can meet at 2 PM Tuesday, they do not care or want to hear that you are busy. Instead counter with when you can meet: “I can make Wednesday morning work.”  Or, instead of saying, “I can’t get that to you until Friday,” try, “I can get that to you on Friday.” 

Above all, Jasper says, there is a word you might want to banish from your vocabulary. That word is unfortunately. If you look up synonyms for “unfortunate” you get words like “grievous”, “dreadful”, and “disagreeable.” Is this really the tone you want to set?  

The next time you are tempted to begin a communication with “Unfortunately, I can’t…”, pause and rethink. How can you frame this communication positively?  Hint:  Start with the words, “I can.” 

How often do you find yourself using the word “unfortunately” and what could be your substitute? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below. We'd love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 






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We Are All Writers…So Write Like a Pro

4/21/2025

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Regardless of whether the word “writer” is in your job title, we are all writers—creating email, cover letters, reports, speeches, blogs, newsletters.  Here are four tips to help you do it much better…

It’s easy to feel frustrated by the writing process, but it's also easy to boost your skills through some simple practices.  Mastering the art of writing will help you be persuasive and prompt others to view you as smarter and more insightful. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Samantha Amber, author and host of the podcast How I Write, offers these tips:

  1. Read your work out loud. Hearing your words brings them to life and exposes flaws like clunky or overly-long phrasing.  If you have said too much or not enough, it will not sound right to the ear.  This is also the very best way to catch typos.
  2. Edit other people’s work. Reviewing the work of others critically and methodically is the best way to help you become more intentional in your own writing. 
  3. Ask: Am I adding value or saying something new? If you are creating content that is already out there and saying it in the same way, think about stopping until you can do more research or get input from someone with expertise in the subject, 
  4. Clear your metaphorical throat. Your first two paragraphs can probably be deleted, or seriously condensed, because most of us spend a lot of time warming up and getting into a groove.  Even if you love those paragraphs, be objective.  Sometimes you must “kill your darlings.” 

What do you have on deck to write next, and which of these tips might help you most?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 



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How Social Fitness Can Save Your Life

4/9/2025

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When it comes to staying healthy, science shows that social connection is as important as diet and exercise…

The Harvard Study of Adult Development has been minutely tracking the lives of some 724 original participants (and some of their descendants) since 1938.  One of its biggest takeaways is that the greatest predictor of health and happiness isn’t a factor like cholesterol levels or blood pressure.  It is the strength of a person’s social ties. 

But social fitness, one of the study’s directors said, is just like physical fitness:  You must work at it.  Harvard-trained social scientist and author Kasey Killam has a framework for doing so, calling it the 5-3-1 rule. 

At a minimum:
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  • Spend time with 5 different people each week.  These can even be casual acquaintances like someone from your gym or book club.
  • Nurture 3 close relationships.  This means maintaining the close bonds you have with family or good friends.
  • Aim for an hour of social interaction each day.  This doesn’t have to be all at once, and can be combined with activities like doing errands. ​

Of course, these research-based guidelines can be flexed, depending on circumstances like age, lifestyle, and physical limitations.  However, the 5-3-1 rule makes for a great baseline.  Offering some helpful tips to get started, Killam suggests putting some friendships on auto-pilot with a weekly or monthly dinner, walk, or other activity.  You can also put a post-it on your bathroom mirror reminding you to reach out to someone.  You can volunteer in your community, or commit to a set number of 10-minute phone calls each week.  These strategies can help you create new habits that, in time, will become self-reinforcing.

Are you getting your 5-3-1 in, and, if not, how can you create a new habit to do so?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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When Someone is Upset, Here’s One Question to Ask

3/31/2025

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It’s hard when someone you care about is upset, but asking them one simple question can help...

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We can feel helpless when someone we care about is emotionally overwhelmed, and the last thing we want to do is say the wrong thing.  Writing in the New York Times, Janee Dunn recounts the advice she got from a special education teacher.

When one of her students is upset, she asks them: "Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?" Writes Dunn:, “It struck me that this question could be just as effective for adults.”

Everyone handles emotions in their own way.  And each option — thoughtful  advice, empathetic listening, or a hug — has the power to comfort and soothe.  A hug can release oxytocin, a bonding hormone that tamps down stress.  Likewise, being heard with high quality listening has been shown to reduce defensiveness.  Also, some research suggests that couples who give each other supportive advice create higher relationship satisfaction.

Different emotions lead to upset and each may necessitate a different response.  For example, someone experiencing anxiety may appreciate reassurance, but someone who is frustrated may rather be heard.  And don’t try to problem-solve unless that kind of intervention is requested.  Someone who is upset may already be aware of solutions, but they may want to process their experience before moving on. 

What do you most often need when you are upset, and how do you communicate that?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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5 Ways to Create Space to Think

3/10/2025

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Trapped in continual “doing mode?” You’re not alone. Here’s how to give yourself permission to pause… and think bigger.

So many of us are focused on doing mode — achieving goals and checking items off to-do lists. But better relationships, bigger-picture strategies, and creative thinking all depend on pausing and entering into spacious mode. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Megan Reitz of Oxford University’s Said Business School, and John Higgins, director of research at The Right Conversation, share their research-based tips for making it easier and safer to occasionally switch modes.

  • Give yourself permission:  Pausing requires a leap of faith at first, but soon its benefits will become clear.
  • Train your mind: A mere 10 minutes of mindfulness practice daily will, over time, help you develop a capacity to pay attention differently.
  • Practice guerilla spaciousness:  If your organization is relentlessly promoting doing, be stealthy. Develop small habits that allow you to shift into spacious mode under the radar. Try changing up your environment or scheduling pauses. 
  • Ask bigger questions: Pose broader questions to yourself and others, e.g. “What have we not talked about that would help us work together better?”
  • Choose good company:  While you cannot choose your work colleagues, spend more time when you can with individuals and groups that help you expand your thought processes and see things in new ways.

When was the last time you deliberately took a pause to create thinking time, and what were the results? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.  We'd really like to hear from you.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. ​

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Ever Been Stunned by a setback? Try These 5 Moves

2/26/2025

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Setbacks are unavoidable.  But these 5 steps can help you bounce back…

We have all faced it:  We miss out on a promotion or a job offer, face harsh criticism, or fail to reach an important goal.  Rebuilding your confidence after a setback is possible, but resilience requires reflection, patience, and proactive steps.  Writing in Forbes, senior contributor Benjamin Laker offers this advice:

  • Acknowledge and process the setback:  It’s natural to feel disappointed or frustrated, and burying those feelings can prevent you from fully understanding what happened and why.  But be conscious of your self-talk.  Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try telling yourself, “Things didn’t work out this time.”
  • Reflect on what you can learn:  No matter how painful, every setback offers an opportunity for growth. Once you’ve processed your emotions, reorient your focus to learning.  Ask yourself: What skills or areas do I need to develop to avoid a similar situation in the future?  This can turn a negative experience into a learning opportunity.
  • Be kind to yourself:  While acknowledging any missteps is important, be sure to consider any external factors that contributed to your situation.  Perhaps, financial constraints took precedence over your goals or a project took longer than you had planned.
  • Seek feedback and support:  Although retreat and isolation may be tempting, seeking support from trusted colleagues is one of the best ways to reestablish perspective.
  • Take small, measurable steps forward:  Regaining confidence works best with small, achievable interim goals to restore a sense of accomplishment.  By focusing on progress, you ready yourself for success. 

What have you done to recover from a setback in your professional life?  To join the conversation, click on  "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 



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The Science of Friendship

2/17/2025

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Friendships are so important, they can literally impact life and death…

Romance gets a lot of attention but, according to a growing body of research, friendships are critical to our health and well being. A review of 38 studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict wellness and can protect against mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Those benefits persist across the life span.

Friendships protect to some degree by altering the way we respond to stress. Our blood pressure can lower when we talk to a supportive friend. When we have a friend by our side while completing a tough task, we have less heart rate reactivity than those working alone. Friendships can also change our perspective. In one study, people even judged a hill to be less steep when accompanied by a friend.

Fortunately, research also suggests that friendships can be forged and maintained at any age. Even minimal social interactions can be powerful. So-called “weak ties” -- interactions we have with casual acquaintances -- can boost our health and sustain positivity.  

Isolation during the pandemic proved hard on nearly everyone, but it did focus scientific attention on how important human connection is across all ages and all spheres of life. 

Do you have friendships that nourish you, and do you actively make an effort to keep them going? Let us know if you’ve found a way to start new friendships as an adult. To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Time-tested Relationship Advice For Valentine’s Day

2/10/2025

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Valentine’s Day is approaching. To keep love alive, practice these 5 communication romance hacks…

Wall Street Journal relationship columnist Elizabeth Bernstein says her favorite part of the job is hearing people’s time tested tips. With Valentine’s Day approaching, we want to share some of her favorite advice with you:

  • Practice positive gossip:  Too often we talk about negative things rather than positive ones. We complain, for example, about a bad driver who cut us off, but never mention the kind driver who let us into their lane. Try devoting part of your dinner conversation to recounting positive experiences you had during the day.
  • Talk less, listen more:  Talk to share, not convince or compare. Seek to understand with less trying to change each other. 
  • Watch your non-verbal language:  Delete heavy sighs or eye rolls!
  • Prepare to have a good day:  Over morning coffee, plan how you might optimize your day and manage any challenges ahead 
  • Schedule quality time:  We all tend to get stuck in the daily grind. The best way out is to actively plan for joy. Whether it is a weekly date night, weekend getaway, or just a leisurely walk (perhaps with phones left at home), be sure to schedule togetherness on your calendar.

What is your best advice for keeping your relationship strong through positive communication? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Beat the Plague of Unclear Communication — Here’s How!

1/27/2025

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Communication is the lifeblood of leadership. So why are millions of employees exasperated and thwarted because of unclear communication from their boss?...

As more employees are working remotely or in hybrid work environments, the need for successful communication has never been greater. Yet, according to a recent report by FlexOS, employees gave their managers a mediocre 7 out of 10 — basically, a C — on managing hybrid and remote teams. Worse, 30 percent said they’re blocked and discouraged by unclear communication from their bosses. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Gleb Tsipursky, CEO of the consultancy Disaster Avoidance Experts and author of seven bestselling books, says, “As a manager, it’s your job to make sure vital information is shared appropriately and clearly, leaving no room for misunderstandings…” His advice:

  • Set expectations up front: Align with your team on the optimal use of various communication platforms. What are the ground rules?
  • Consider creating a “clarity canvas.” When starting a new project, create a set of documents that succinctly outline goals, individual responsibilities, process instructions, and key deadlines. 
  • Make everything accessible. Keep meticulous records of decisions made, meeting minutes, and project statuses in a centralized, digital location accessible to all. 
  • Schedule regular debriefs. After important announcements, it can be valuable to set up debrief meetings with your team. Doing so will help you evaluate how well your people understand and accept the announcements, and will give you the opportunity to clarify and address any questions.

Is your manager organized and thorough in their communication? What might they improve? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.


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What Will You Un-Resolve for 2025?

1/15/2025

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New Years resolutions have terrible staying power. Here are 3 steps to be more successful this year…

According to Forbes, merely 8 percent of people keep their resolutions twelve months later. (You may have already noticed this happening, just 2 weeks into 2025.) The reasons for broken resolutions go beyond lack of will power. According to Elizabeth Grace Saunders, time management coach and author of How To Invest Your Time Like Money, many people fail to accomplish new goals because they don’t consciously eliminate old activities from their schedule to make room for the new. It’s like “trying to stuff more papers into a file drawer that’s already packed tight.”

If your resolutions involve workplace goals and behaviors, consider the following:

  • Evaluate all your work commitments.  The start of a new year marks the perfect time to reevaluate what you’re doing, how you are doing it, and why. Are there routine activities you can drop?
  • Reassess your work style. Examine how you accomplish work. Are you using meetings efficiently? Can you have fewer or shorter meetings? Does completing the projects you’re currently working on still make sense? 
  • Add new goals strategically. Once you intentionally create space, you can strategically add in the activities that you want in your life. To say “yes” to the new, you must say “no” to some of the old.

What can you un- resolve for this coming year to make room for new priorities? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.


Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning programs. 

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Tuning in to a Tuned-Out Teen

12/23/2024

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Has your son or daughter become more monosyllabic as the teenage years set in, and far more interested in their phone than you? Good news: You can still break through with these 4 actions.

As Cara Natterson, a Los Angeles pediatrician and co-author of This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained told The New York Times, there are various ways to break through to teens:

  • Limit your lectures: A monologue from you sounds like, “Blah, blah, blah.” Make sure you are actively listening, and model what it looks like to pay attention.
  • Get curious if asked a question: Often a sudden question arises from something your teen saw, read, or heard. If it catches you off guard, calmly ask then to tell you more. Then answer, and keep it short. Let them process it; they can ask more later.  
  • Stay in conversation: Just because you broach a touchy subject doesn't mean you can cross it off your list. Aim for a series of short conversations.
  • Don't give TMI about your own teenage years: Sharing too much Information (TMI) can be cringe-inducing. And whatever you do, if they are having a drama or trauma, don’t tell them they will “laugh  about it one day.”

When is the last time you had a good talk with your teenaged child, and how did you manage it? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below. We hope this blog can be helpful to you over the holidays!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Did Your Job Interview Thud?

12/16/2024

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If your job interview felt more like a dud than a win, don’t panic until you try these 4 moves…

Writing in Forbes, contributor Caroline Ceniza-Levine notes there are important criteria in deciding who moves on to callback interviews and the ultimate job offer. These include specific accomplishments that match the job description, your fit into the company culture, and your ideas about what you would bring to the role.  

Meanwhile, here’s what you can do while you wait:
  • Send a thank you note to the interviewer detailing your enthusiasm and fit for the job, and follow up with the recruiter. 
  • Continue to look for additional people within the company to advance your application or open doors to other opportunities.
  • Remember that multiple stakeholders typically contribute to the final hiring decision…not just the interviewer.
  • Prepare for future interviews by practicing eye contact (even virtually!) and rehearsing for frequently-asked interview questions like “Tell me about yourself.”

Did you ever feel pessimistic after an interview only to get the job after all? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 



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Never Say These Words!

12/9/2024

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Certain phrases make conflict worse. So why do we keep saying them?

Writing in The New York Times, Jancee Dunn has curated some of the top contenders for phrases that ignite conflict.

  • “You always…” and “You never…” These generalizations fail to acknowledge any effort the other person has made, and they are easily refuted.
  • “Yes, but…” This deflection invalidates everything that comes before the word ‘but’ and so any possible agreement is lost.
  • “You're overreacting…” No one gets to decide what is an appropriate emotional reaction for someone else, and so it adds fuel to the conflict.
  • “Calm down…” This can be interpreted as "You’re out of control" and usually has the opposite effect.
  • “It’s not that big of a deal…” It’s belittling to say a person’s concerns are not serious or important. 

Is there a phrase that triggers you? What wording would be better? To join the conversation, click on "comments" on below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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3 Ways To Tell Your Boss That You're Not Engaged

12/2/2024

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Many employees are not engaged at work, but their leaders are often unaware. So what should you do if you know your talents, expertise and interests are being under-utilized?

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, organizational psychologist Lewis Garrad and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Chief Innovation Officer at Manpower Group, offer 3 ways to communicate your dissatisfaction to your boss:

  • “I need your help to reach my full potential”: This highlights that your typical performance, good as it might be, is not your optimal performance. It suggests the best is yet to come. 
  • “Can you help me find a new challenge?”: This captures the importance of learning as a driver of engagement. It shows you do not want to do only what is easy.
  • “I’m not sure this role is a good fit”:  People do best in roles that align with their abilities and values.  This shows you are self-aware enough to want to maximize your contribution.

Have you ever been disengaged enough at work to request help from your boss? What was the result? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Your Brain on Gratitude: Happy Thanksgiving!

11/25/2024

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Gratitude has consistently been shown to lower stress, reduce pain, boost immunity, and improve blood pressure and heart function. Here’s how to spread gratitude not just on Thanksgiving…but always.​

We recently released a micro learning video series on how to express gratitude so it sticks, and these tools are easy to learn.  Neuroscientist Glen Fox has spent his entire adult life studying gratitude. “Grateful people tend to recover faster from trauma and injury, have better and closer personal relationships and may even just have improved health overall.” Fox did an experiment using brain-imaging scans to map which circuits in the brain become active when we feel grateful.

“We saw that the participants’ ratings of gratitude correlated with activity in a set of brain regions associated with interpersonal bonding and with relief from stress,” he said. To up your conscious gratitude, Fox suggests keeping a gratitude journal. On a regular basis, write down what you are grateful for, even if those things seem mundane. The positive effect is cumulative so it’s a good idea to make this a habit. You can also write letters of gratitude to those who have helped you along your way. Says Fox, “I think that gratitude can be much more like a muscle, like a trained response or a skill that we can develop over time.”

When was the last time you actively expressed gratitude, and how did you feel? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

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