Gossip may seem like a quick way to bond with co-workers, but research shows that gossipers are perceived as unlikeable and lacking social influence. Prolific gossipers were liked less than non-gossipers, and negative gossipers were liked least of all. Still, gossip proliferates when mistrust of formal workplace channels is high, and when workers feel they have few opportunities to directly raise sensitive issues.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, author and social scientist John Grenny, points out that, ironically, the more gossip is used, the more the need for it is reinforced: “Risk-free yakking about problems temporarily distracts us from our sense of responsibility to solve them.”
 
How to change the culture? Grenny says:

• Stop enabling: Gossipers are rewarded when others respond by passively listening.
  

• Create alternatives: Leadership can decrease the demand for gossip by devising safe forums for bringing matters into the open.
  

• Build skills: Managers should model skills and strategies for surfacing concerns—and challenge employees to create the culture they want by using them.
  

 
We want to hear. How do you react when a co-worker wants to share gossip? What outlets, if any, does your organization offer as a way to air grievances, concerns, and sensitive issues other than gossip? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

Knowing that employee relationships with co-workers are essential to helping them feel happy and connected with their job, the Toronto-based company FreshBooks has begun setting up “blind dates” for its employees, reports CBS. No, not romantic dates, but rather “all business” dates that help employees get to know one another over lunch or coffee.
 
“As the company grew, I noticed that more and more people just didn't know each other's names anymore,” said manager Mary Grace Antonio, an eight-year veteran of the company. In order to keep up the tight-knit community feel, she began asking for volunteers to meet up—focusing on pairing those whose paths might not normally cross, like top executives and recent college graduates.

Antonio said that despite some “first-date style” awkwardness and jitters, the program has been a win-win for everyone involved. “After the first round, we sent out a survey to see how many people liked it and 100 percent of people who joined said they liked it."

"We believe culture is strategy and having people connect with folks they don't necessarily work with actually helps build the ties that keep the organization strong and information and ideas flowing," added CEO Mike McDerment.

We want to hear. Does your company have any means for you to meet and talk casually with those you don’t work with directly? Would you like more of this kind of opportunity? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

Amy Cuddy, social psychologist and author of the new book, Presence, recently offered a tip for those who consider themselves shy yet want to have a positive interview experience. The tip may seem simple, although many people find it hard to do:  slow down and take pauses.
 
Shy people in particular, says Cuddy, rush through their answers. “They're afraid to ask questions. They certainly don't pause. They truncate their answers." She adds that many people actually fear pauses because pauses make them feel vulnerable.

Yet taking your time to answer a question, says Cuddy, shows you're taking the other person seriously." When someone asks you a question… they really want you to answer it thoughtfully…Reflect; don't jump right in.” She advised doing the same after you've given your response: "Pause after that to allow it to sink in. People need time to process.”

Cuddy contends that, in addition to giving the interaction the attention it deserves, pausing will make interviewees feel more powerful. As longtime proponents of the power of silence, we wholeheartedly agree.

We want to hear:  Have you ever considered yourself shy? What strategies have you used during interviews? Even if you’re not shy, can you give an example of when pausing has helped you succeed? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

“The great organization must not only accommodate the fact that each employee is different, it must capitalize on these differences.” So says The Strengths Revolution, a book by Marcus Buckingham and David O. Clifton.
 
When an organization plays to the strengths of each individual employee, say the authors—citing extensive research from the Gallup organization (http://huff.to/1BW9MsT)—it dramatically outperforms its peers. However, on a global basis, only 20 percent of surveyed employees of large organizations feel they use their strengths every day. Worse yet, the longer employees stay and the more they advance, the less likely they are to strongly agree their strengths are in play.
 
To break the pattern, Buckingham and Clifton advise, follow the “two assumptions that guide the world’s best managers”:
 

1. Each person’s talents are enduring and unique.
2. Each person is most apt to grow in the area of their greatest strengths.

 
Though this may seem intuitive, most organizations do the opposite—mandating cookie cutter work styles and promoting people based on improvement in acquired skills.
 
We want to hear: Do you feel your organization understands your strengths and tailors your role to maximize them? Do you do this for your employees? We’d love to hear examples. To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

We’ve all witnessed conversations that seem inexorably headed for an explosive end.  Author and social scientist Joseph Grenny, writing in the Harvard Business Review says their disconcerting downward trajectory can often be de-escalated or even reversed by following these six strategies:      

• Own your part:  Take responsibility (authentically) for your role in the escalation (e.g. “I’m getting loud…I apologize.”)
  
• Offer safety:  State a commitment to finding a mutually beneficial solution.
• Point out the default future: Note where the conversation is headed (not a good place!) and the negative consequences of not changing course,
• Talk about rules: Invite a discussion about the “the rules of engagement.”
• Change the pace: Slow your comments and lower your voice to “lower the temperature.”
• Refocus on agreement: Pause for a moment to say what you both agree on—even if it’s only 10 percent of the issue at hand.

 
We want to hear: What do you do to lower the thermostat during a heated argument? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.