![]() You’ve probably heard about the famous “marshmallow study” in which children who were able to delay the gratification of eating a marshmallow in order to get two marshmallows later were deemed more likely to be successful. The message was clear: delaying gratification is a critical success factor. But new evidence suggests that we may be missing the point. (http://bit.ly/2nPpzoj) In a series of five studies recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers Kaitlin Wooley and Ayelet Fishbach at the University of Chicago's Booth School of Business found that achieving long-term goals depends on our ability to focus on incremental goals on the way. It turns out that long-term desires like making honor roll, getting promoted, or losing weight for the class reunion motivate people to set goals in the first place. But once we know where we want to go, reminding ourselves how much we want to get there isn't an effective strategy. Rather, those who succeed are not just those who are better at delaying gratification but rather those who find other ways to gratify themselves along the way (Tweet it!). Many of the children who deferred their original sugar puff treat distracted themselves by singing songs or playing games in their heads. They didn't so much delay gratification as substitute its source. They discovered instinctively what the Chicago studies showed: Success is about discovering gratification in every situation. Can you think of a situation, at work or elsewhere, where you met long-term goals by focusing on the rewards of step-by-step progress? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion
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![]() Long before communication scientists began studying persuasion, 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal said that when we wish to change a person’s mind, “we must notice from what side he views the matter, for on that side it is usually true, and admit that truth to him, then reveal to him the side on which it is false.” In other words, meet your skeptics on their own turf (Tweet it!). If you want someone to adopt your point of view, first tell them where they are right, then tell them where their information is incomplete. Says Arthur Markman, psychology professor at The University of Texas at Austin, “One of the first things you have to do to give someone permission to change their mind is to lower their defenses and prevent them from digging in their heels...If I immediately tell you all the ways in which you’re wrong, there’s no incentive for you to co-operate. But if I start by saying, ‘You make a couple of really good points here, I think these are important issues,’ now you’re giving the other party a reason to want to co-operate as part of the exchange.” (http://bit.ly/2j1yIuT) Only when you have engagement based on some measure of common ground can you nudge opposite views toward your direction. Can you think of an occasion when someone successfully changed your mind? How did they do it, and what did you learn from their approach? To join the conversation, click comments below. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion ![]() Gallup data show that only 30 percent of employees are “engaged” at work. Towers Watson data show 35 percent “highly engaged.” Dale Carnegie data show 29 percent “fully engaged.” Gallup goes on to estimate an annual cost in lost U.S. productivity of more than $450 billion. In a Forbes excerpt from his upcoming book, The Type B Manager , Victor Lipman points out that if 60 to 70 percent of employees are working at less than full capacity, a significant number of managers are dealing with motivation problems. Lipman sees a deep opportunity for very significant productivity gains through engagement (Tweet it!). “To use simple numbers, if you manage 10 employees and six of them are to some extent disengaged, and you can reach on average two of them to better engage and motivate them, those gains are significant.” Of course the challenge lies in reaching those unengaged employees, but the payoff is worth it. “Here’s something they’ll probably never teach you in business school,” wrote Gallup CEO Jim Clifton in the summary accompanying his organization’s 2013 “State of the American Workplace” employee engagement study. “The single biggest decision you make in your job—bigger than all the rest—is who you appoint as manager. When you select the wrong person, nothing fixes that bad decision. Not compensation, not benefits—nothing.” Were you ever less than fully motivated in a job because of a poor relationship with your manager? Did the situation improve, and—if so—how? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion ![]() Stress may be pervasive in the workplace, but some simple communication tactics can reduce it (Tweet it!). Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business professor Dorie Clark makes three key suggestions: 1. Don’t be Vague: Cryptic messages like ”We need to talk” cause recipients to anticipate the worst. 2. Triage Your Email: Research shows that professionals get an average of 122 emails a day. No, you cannot respond to them all instantly, but do respond to time sensitive ones lest you hold up your colleagues’ progress. 3. Stop hovering: Anyone can choke under pressure. Rather than “watching the kettle boil”, talk with your team to establish timelines and agreed-upon metrics of progress. Then step back and let them shine. You can’t control your team’s behavior, but you can take charge of your own—and in doing so, you can help spread an atmosphere of calm competency. What’s a recent step you actively took to lessen the stress level in your workplace? Did it make a difference? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. |
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