Are you a good listener? When we pose this question to people in our learning events, most rate themselves as “above average” (a mathematical impossibility). When we ask what good listening consists of, the most common themes are:  not interrupting, letting others know you are listening by using nonverbal encouragers  (“uh-huh”, “mmm-hmm”) and paraphrasing, by repeating back what the other person has said. 
 
However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing great listening skills.

Their four main findings:

1. Good listeners are not always silent when others talk.  They periodically ask questions that prompt discovery and insight. Good listening is more of a two-way dialogue than speaker vs. listener.
   
   
2. Good listening includes interactions that build the speaker’s self-esteem. “Good listening was characterized by the creation of a safe environment in which issues and differences could be discussed openly. Good listeners made the other person feel supported and conveyed confidence in them.”
   
   
3. Good listening is a cooperative conversation. Good listeners may challenge assumptions and disagree, “but the person being listened to feels the listener is trying to help, not wanting to win an argument.”
   
   
4. Good listeners can make suggestions.  Good listening invariably included some feedback provided in a way others would accept and that opened up alternative paths to consider.

 
Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively.
 
As a listener have you engaged in any of these practices? What else has worked for you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear your feedback.

A manager’s job and communication style must change as their team expands. Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Julia Zhuo, vice president of design at Facebook and author of The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks To You, explores some of the necessary adaptations. 

• Indirect Management Expands Your Reach:  As your team grows, you cannot manage everyone directly, at least not to the same degree. That means developing managers who report to you, and accepting that some decisions will be made without you. At first it may feel like you are losing control—but you are actually empowering your people, and expanding your leadership reach.
• People Treat You Differently:  When people don’t know you well and see you’re in a position of authority, they’re less likely to tell you the truth or to challenge you when they think you’re wrong, even if you’d like them to. Be aware of this dynamic and take countermeasures. Emphasize that you welcome dissenting opinions and reward those who express them.
• People-Centric Skills Matter Most:  As teams grow, managers spend less time on the specific craft of their discipline, and more time coaching others. “At higher levels of management… success becomes more about mastering a few key skills: hiring exceptional leaders, building self-reliant teams, establishing a clear vision, and communicating well.”

How has your communication style adapted as your team and your responsibilities have grown? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would really like to get your feedback.

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that people would come from far and wide to hear Abe Lincoln speak, even when he was simply a prairie lawyer. From his “stage” atop a tree stump, Lincoln “could simultaneously educate, entertain, and move his audiences,” she writes.  Although times have changed, human nature has not, and Lincoln’s speaking techniques are as compelling as ever.
 
Writing In The Harvard Business Review, Harvard instructor and communication author Carmine Gallo credits Lincoln’s gift for storytelling as key to his ability to captivate audiences. She goes on to enumerate some key differences between mere “presenters” and compelling storytellers.

• Presenters open PowerPoint; storytellers craft a narrative:  A bulleted list is not a story. The latter is a connected series of events, with a theme, attention-grabbing moments, heroes, and a satisfying conclusion. “Nicely designed slides cannot compensate for a poorly structured story.”
• Presenters dump data; storytellers humanize it:  Data is abstract until it’s put into context that people can understand. And people can understand people. The next time you have large datasets to present, add a face to the statistics.
• Presenters are predictable; storytellers surprise. Most PowerPoints are predictable, hence boring. Stories have twists, turns, and elements of surprise. The human brain loves novelty and perks up when we detect something that breaks a pattern.
• Presenters use text; storytellers love pictures:  If you want to engage an audience, build a presentation that favors pictures to complement the story you tell. Researchers have found that an audience will recall about 10% of the content if they simply hear information. But due to the “picture superiority effect,” if they hear information and see a picture, they’ll retain 65%.

 
What might you do to add elements of great storytelling to your next presentation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear from you.

Today’s world is primed for instant gratification. We often feel pressure to reply immediately to emails and texts, and even in conversation. We fear “dead air” and so hasten to say no something…anything...even when responding to a complex question.
 
However, numerous business leaders—notably Apple’s Tim Cook and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos—are known for taking a pause in conversation in order to carefully consider what they will say next. Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied, writing in Inc., notes that while those on the receiving end of 10, 20, even 30 seconds of silence may feel uncomfortable at first, their reward is a thoughtfully considered answer…the result of critical thinking that would be impossible without taking time.
 
According to Bariso, embracing “awkward silence” allows us to:

• Put the outside world on mute
• Exercise thinking faculties
• Get to root problems more effectively
• Give deeper, more thoughtful answers
• Bring emotions into balance
• Remain in harmony with our values and principles
• Increase confidence
• Say what we mean, and mean what we say
  
  

Says the author, “That may sound like a lot for 10 to 20 seconds, but you'll be surprised what your brain can accomplish once it's given a little more time to do what it was designed to do: think things through.”
 
When was the last time you allowed a buffer of silence before addressing a complicated topic—and how do you feel when others do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear from you!