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The Power of “No”

4/27/2024

Have you ever said "yes" because you were afraid of being seen as uncooperative, of hurting people’s feelings, of getting others into trouble with their bosses, of missing opportunities?

Saying "yes" when you mean "no" robs you of an irreplaceable resource: your time. Refusing someone’s request is easier than you think. And, it gives you the space to agree when something is important to you. Writer Leslie Jamison used to be afraid to say no. Ultimately, she kept a notebook of all the things to which she automatically said “uh-uh”…and she learned 4 important lessons:

Others have the right to ask you to do things, and you have the right to refuse. You are in charge of your own boundaries and should not expect others to draw them for you.
You have to accept that others may be disappointed. But they will get over it. You are not in charge of other people’s feelings and perhaps they will also learn to say no.
The fear of missing out can be unlearned. If you keep track of opportunities you turned down you will see how other possibilities -– often better —came along.
Saying no does not mean you are ungrateful. You can sincerely express your thankfulness if someone offers you an invitation or opportunity, despite the fact that you are not accepting it.

When was the last time you said “no”, and were you glad you did? To join the conversation, click "comments" on below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Do You Know How Much People Like You?

4/20/2024

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Too often we underestimate how much others like us, and our anxieties can lead us to assume the worst. This “liking gap,” has important implications for how people work together.

Across nearly 10 years of research and tens of thousands of observations, Erica Boothby of the Wharton School and four associates came to this conclusion: People underestimate how much others like them, and this negative bias has important implications for how people work together. Once you assume you’ve made a bad first impression, this gap may persist long past initial conversations, affecting all kinds of relationships, including those with co-workers.

Why don’t people realize just how positively others actually view them? The researchers think self-critical thoughts are a key culprit. What can you do to better align your beliefs with reality? There’s no simple answer, they say, but when it comes to having conversations with others — whether small talk or more formal encounters — one place to start is shifting your focus of attention.

“Try to zoom in on your conversation partner, be genuinely curious about them, ask them more questions, and really listen to their answers. The more you’re zeroed in on the other person, and the less you’re focused on yourself, the better your conversation will be and the less your mind will turn to all the things you think you didn’t do well.”

What kind of first impression do you think you usually make? Has your self-assessment ever been disproven? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Do You Over-Share When You Open Up?

4/16/2024

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Kudos to leaders who practice vulnerability and make an effort to connect with their team. Here are 5 tips so that sharing does not become oversharing and make people uncomfortable.

It is best to remain “selectively vulnerable”… opening up while still respecting the emotional boundaries of your team. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, co-authors of No Hard Feelings, offer advice on how to do that:

Hit the pause button: Notice when you become emotional. It’s hard to be resourceful when your adrenalin is rushing and your emotions are high.
Don't become emotionally leaky. Learn to identify your emotions, name them, and share them consciously, with both your words and body language. Research shows that highly emotional managers actually make people work less hard.
Provide a path forward: If you are anxious about a challenging project, you can share that while also adding: “Here’s my plan for moving forward.”

Put yourself in their shoes: Ask yourself, “How would I feel if my manager shared this with me?”
Read the room: Stay attuned to when your employees are feeling overwhelmed. “Try to pair realism with optimism and share when you sense it will be helpful to others.”

What methods do you use to reign in extreme emotions at work? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear about your experiences!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Are You Being Seen at Work?

4/9/2024

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Being seen and recognized for your work can usher in new opportunities and move your career to the next level. So how do you become more visible?

According to Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of Trust Yourself, even introverts can find ways to play to their strengths and boost visibility.

Speak up early in meetings: If you tend to hold back in meetings waiting for the “right moment” to interject, you may miss your chance altogether. You can circumvent this cycle by challenging yourself to be the second or third person to contribute.
Take the pressure off: Visibility doesn't require having a groundbreaking idea. You can build on a colleague’s idea, ask a clarifying question, or suggest resources.
Ditch the self-deprecation: Stop using disqualifiers like “I’m no expert but...” or “This is just my opinion.” Instead try, “Another approach could be...” or “I’d like to propose...”
Show gratitude: Sometimes we find ourselves struggling to be humble, while also recognizing the importance of claiming our successes. Expressing gratitude is a graceful solution to this puzzle. By framing your accomplishments within the context of appreciation for the contributions of others, you can stay true to yourself while also ensuring your achievements don’t fly under the radar.

What have you done to become more visible at your job, and what were the results? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above. We would love to hear about your experiences!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Why Small Talk Matters and How to Do It

4/2/2024

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Small talk is how we open conversations with strangers, build rapport, and plant the seeds for deeper relationships — but how do you actually do it?

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Melissa Hahn, a professor at American University’s School of International Service and Andy Molinsky, a Brandeis University
professor and author of Global Dexterity, offer tips for upping your small talk game:

Use communities and your environment: If you’re attending a conference, that is something you have in common with all the attendees. You can ask: Have you been to this conference before? What keeps bringing you back? Do you have any favorite cafes in this city?
Ask open-ended questions: Small differences in how we phrase questions can have a big impact on the way conversations develop. A close-ended query would be, “Do you like the conference so far?” An open-ended one would be, “What do you think of the conference? Any highlights so far?” The latter does not lend itself to yes or no answers.
Share something about yourself: When you share something about yourself (personal but not too private) the other person feels like they are getting to know you. For example, did you leave a pet at home? Are you a parent? Are you looking for a good running route? Soon you may find common ground.
Explore various angles of a topic: If the conversation veers to a topic you don’t know much about, try to find an adjacent topic, or ask questions to learn more.
Just say “Hello”: If you are unsure about navigating small talk, just introduce yourself! That is often enough of an icebreaker.

Do you have a go-to method of initiating small talk? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to get your feedback!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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The Power of “No”

Do You Know How Much People Like You?

Do You Over-Share When You Open Up?

Are You Being Seen at Work?

Why Small Talk Matters and How to Do It

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The Power of “No”

Do You Know How Much People Like You?

Do You Over-Share When You Open Up?

Are You Being Seen at Work?

Why Small Talk Matters and How to Do It

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