Are you a good listener? When we pose this question to people in our learning events, most rate themselves as “above average” (a mathematical impossibility). When we ask what good listening consists of, the most common themes are:  not interrupting, letting others know you are listening by using nonverbal encouragers  (“uh-huh”, “mmm-hmm”) and paraphrasing, by repeating back what the other person has said. 
 
However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing great listening skills.

Their four main findings:

1. Good listeners are not always silent when others talk.  They periodically ask questions that prompt discovery and insight. Good listening is more of a two-way dialogue than speaker vs. listener.
   
   
2. Good listening includes interactions that build the speaker’s self-esteem. “Good listening was characterized by the creation of a safe environment in which issues and differences could be discussed openly. Good listeners made the other person feel supported and conveyed confidence in them.”
   
   
3. Good listening is a cooperative conversation. Good listeners may challenge assumptions and disagree, “but the person being listened to feels the listener is trying to help, not wanting to win an argument.”
   
   
4. Good listeners can make suggestions.  Good listening invariably included some feedback provided in a way others would accept and that opened up alternative paths to consider.

 
Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively.
 
As a listener have you engaged in any of these practices? What else has worked for you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear your feedback.

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that people would come from far and wide to hear Abe Lincoln speak, even when he was simply a prairie lawyer. From his “stage” atop a tree stump, Lincoln “could simultaneously educate, entertain, and move his audiences,” she writes.  Although times have changed, human nature has not, and Lincoln’s speaking techniques are as compelling as ever.
 
Writing In The Harvard Business Review, Harvard instructor and communication author Carmine Gallo credits Lincoln’s gift for storytelling as key to his ability to captivate audiences. She goes on to enumerate some key differences between mere “presenters” and compelling storytellers.

• Presenters open PowerPoint; storytellers craft a narrative:  A bulleted list is not a story. The latter is a connected series of events, with a theme, attention-grabbing moments, heroes, and a satisfying conclusion. “Nicely designed slides cannot compensate for a poorly structured story.”
• Presenters dump data; storytellers humanize it:  Data is abstract until it’s put into context that people can understand. And people can understand people. The next time you have large datasets to present, add a face to the statistics.
• Presenters are predictable; storytellers surprise. Most PowerPoints are predictable, hence boring. Stories have twists, turns, and elements of surprise. The human brain loves novelty and perks up when we detect something that breaks a pattern.
• Presenters use text; storytellers love pictures:  If you want to engage an audience, build a presentation that favors pictures to complement the story you tell. Researchers have found that an audience will recall about 10% of the content if they simply hear information. But due to the “picture superiority effect,” if they hear information and see a picture, they’ll retain 65%.

 
What might you do to add elements of great storytelling to your next presentation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear from you.

Is it acceptable to let go of the pressure to participate in back-and-forth work-related conversations? Cal Newport, computer science professor and author of A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, suggests practicing messaging “triage.”
 
In a recent paper, researchers concluded that constantly attending to emails, texts, Slack messages, and Zoom requests can lead to cognitive overload that “may result in ineffective information processing, confusion, loss of control, psychological stress — or even an increase of depressive symptoms.” When we practice triage, we make practical real-time decisions about which messages warrant an instantaneous response, which we need to think about before answering, and which aren’t really worth our attention.
 
Triaging may feel uncomfortable at first, but you can start small by cutting back on reply pleasantries like “thanks for the update” and “hope you are well”…which might be considered communication clutter. As Newport argues, “In the context of digital communication, the sender often prefers avoiding the receipt of additional messages when possible.”
 
If you don’t reply immediately to a message during your downtime or vacation or even when you are just preoccupied or exhausted, Erica Dhawan, author of Digital Body Language, says, “Don’t apologize. Just reply when you can. Or don’t.” Still feel uncomfortable? Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute, which offers etiquette advice, says, “You have to be a civil and decent person, but you don’t have to give your time and attention to everyone who asks for it.”
 
Do you ever choose to ignore work-related messages and what are your criteria for doing so? Have there been repercussions? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture).  We’d love to hear your feedback!