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Up Your EQ With These Five Words

6/6/2023

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“There are very simple things you can change about your behavior -- as simple as memorizing a few basic words and concepts -- to leverage emotions and increase the odds that you'll achieve your goals.” So writes Bill Murphy Jr., contributing editor of Inc.. Murphy contends that people with high emotional intelligence keep five simple words in mind when they hope to be persuasive.  

  • Prefacing:  Signal to your listeners that you’d like them to pay attention by saying something like, “There’s something I'd like you to consider,” or “Would you mind if I gave you a piece of advice?”
  • Prioritizing: Organize your arguments, keep them short, and present your points in groups of three (we seem hardwired to think of things in triads).
  • Pausing:  Use pauses as a tool to elicit desired responses. Want to offer relief and comfort? Pause two seconds in your discussion. 
  • Politeness:  Leverage politeness as a means of lessening resistance to your message. 
  • Phrasing: Emotionally intelligent people tend toward specific phrases that they've thought through so that they don't accidentally trigger unintended emotions. For example, they might ask, “Can you help me think this through and understand your position better?"

Which of these words resonate most with you, and why? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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The Perils of Under-Management

5/30/2023

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Micromanagement gets lots of attention, but under-management may be just as big a problem. This is the term Victor Lipman, author of The Type B manager, has given to a constellation of behaviors that often co- exist: Weak performance management, a tendency to avoid conflicts, and generally lackluster accountability. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Lipman explains that results often suffer as a result. 

“Under-management can often fly under the radar because the managers who have these tendencies aren’t necessarily incompetent; on the contrary, they often know their business well, are good collaborators, and are well-liked.” The problem is they just do not manage! There are several intertwined causes behind this phenomenon, including too strong a desire to be liked and a penchant for avoiding conflict.  If you suspect you are under-managing, try these steps:
  • Don’t be a conflict-avoider. Almost no one likes dealing with conflict, but it is part of the management role.  Instead of ducking conflict, tackle it before it festers. Over time you will become more confident and comfortable navigating challenging conversations.
  • View goal-setting as mission-critical. If you’re not delivering the results you need, first make sure the goals your employees need to achieve are clear. Most managers don’t spend nearly enough time on goal setting--too often viewing it as a nettlesome bureaucratic exercise. But thoughtful goals that are agreed to by employees can be a manager’s best friend, becoming a roadmap for the year.
  • “Is this work the absolute best you can do?” This is a simple but powerful question. Asking it when someone hands in an assignment will make them aware that they’re being held accountable. (It’s also a good question to ask yourself if you suspect you are under-managing? Are you doing all you can to set appropriate goals, hold people accountable, and deliver the results you need?)
Are you being under-managed or are you under-managing? What steps can you take to alter the situation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Want to Feel Happier and Less Stressed? Talk to a Friend

5/23/2023

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Have you talked to a friend today? A recent study published in Communication Research suggests that people who engage in meaningful conversations may be happier and experience better mental health. 

Researcher Jeffrey Hall identified seven types of communication commonly found in social interactions: Catching up, meaningful talk, joking, showing care, listening, valuing others and their opinions, and offering sincere compliments. The researchers instructed over 900 participants to engage in any one of the seven types of talk on a given day. Some participants performed the tasks via online messages or phone calls, but most spoke in person. At the end of the day, the participants reported how good or bad they felt, as measured by feelings of stress, connection, well-being, and loneliness.

The results showed:
  • Those who engaged in meaningful conversations reported higher levels of happiness and well-being compared to those who engaged in small talk.
  • Engaging in meaningful conversations may help individuals to feel more understood and validated, which can lead to improved self-esteem and a greater sense of belonging.
  • While meaningful conversations have the most impact, engaging in any of the seven communication types at least once a day was enough to improve well-being. In particular, it increased feelings of connection and decreased stress.

While one conversation was enough to increase positive feelings, more than one was even more effective. And while conversations by text or phone call were helpful, in-person conversations yielded the best results. The final takeaway:  Stay intentional about maintaining your relationships!

​Have you had a meaningful conversation with a friend lately, and how did you feel afterward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Increasing Visibility at Work

5/9/2023

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Do you want to stand out at work?  Visibility is crucial for getting recognized by management, bolstering your reputation, and increasing opportunities for career growth. But getting noticed can be more challenging than ever if you are working remotely all or some of the time.

In “Five Ways to Increase Your Visibility at Work" Forbes contributor Caroline Castrillon provides useful tips for those who want to be noticed and to overcome “proximity bias”  (when managers treat workers who are physically closer to them more favorably).

  • Participate in conversations:  Resist turning off your camera and hiding in the background during virtual meetings. Keep your camera on to literally increase your face time with your team and to show facial expressions and non-verbal cues, which help foster a sense of connection.  Ask questions to show you are engaged.
  • Show enthusiasm for learning:  Attend conferences, read industry journals, get certifications. Lifelong learners demonstrate curiosity and initiative. And improving your skills and qualifications is a path to growth.
  • Volunteer for stretch assignments:  Look especially for high-profile cross-functional projects headed by senior leaders. This will elevate your profile beyond your immediate team and show commitment to collaboration.
  • Share the spotlight: Sharing credit strengthens team morale while simultaneously enhancing company culture and building trust.
  • Establish a relationship with your manager: Don't hesitate to solicit feedback and ask your boss if they need help on any projects. 

How do you ensure that you get noticed at work? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. ​

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The Key to a Great Job Interview

5/2/2023

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Got a job interview coming up? Of course you’ll research the organization you’re interviewing with and probably find a bio of your interviewer. But, according to senior Forbes contributor Mike Murphy, job interviewees often make one serious omission: They fail to come prepared with highly detailed experiences from the past few years of their career.

When it comes to team or leadership experiences, you should be armed with specific details around moments of overcoming challenges, and of learning and growing. According to Hiring for Attitude Research, great candidates tend to give longer answers with more nitty-gritty details than lesser candidates. (Conversely, in the study Words That Cost You The Job Interview, it was discovered that low-performing candidates used 40 percent more vague adverbs ("very," "really," and "quickly") than their higher-performing peers.

“You don't want to be the candidate that spews trite clichés,” writes Murphy. “It’s far better to wow the interviewer with great specifics about your past experiences.” To that end, start with some deep reflection about your past experiences. Identify the types of skills you'll need to have for this potential new job, and consider what you have done to prove you have those skills.

Try not to exaggerate, says Murphy, “Puffery is pretty easy to spot…the fastest way to spot a liar is to listen for people who won't give direct and specific answers to your questions. If your interview responses don't contain enough specifics to convey your firsthand experience with an issue, your answers can end up sounding like they came from a book.”

​What kinds of specifics did you offer in your last job interview, and did they help land you the position? If you are an interviewer, have you noticed that specifics made a difference in your opinion of a candidate? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Should You Give Negative Feedback to Your Manager?

4/25/2023

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Whether you’re dealing with a supervisor who criticizes you in front of others, is dismissive of you, interrupts you, or otherwise frustrates you, giving negative feedback to the person you report to is a daunting prospect.  Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Tijs Besieux, a researcher at Harvard Business School, offers tips for deciding whether and how to proceed.
  • Determine if it’s necessary:  A one-time offense is different from a pattern. And even if you are justified, do the potential rewards outweigh the risks?
  • Prepare:  Block time on your manager’s calendar, identify how you want to begin the conversation. as your opening will set the tone for the whole interaction. Then plan the details of what you want to cover.
  • Rehearse: It’s hard to stick to a plan when you are nervous. Rehearsing can calm your nerves. Try practicing with another person, then ask them: ”Is my message clear?   How would you feel after hearing this?”
  • Talk, then listen:  Once you’ve delivered your core message, take a beat. Give your manager time to reflect and respond. Waiting even a few seconds may feel like a lifetime, but be patient, and give your manager as much time to talk as you take.

Have you ever given negative feedback to your manager, and did it yield the desired result? As a manager, can you remember when one of your employees successfully gave you negative feedback? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Creating a Culture of Belonging

4/18/2023

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You may have seen the letter “B” added to the three-letter acronym DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion), which has become ubiquitous in the world of business, government, and academia. The B stands for Belonging. According to Forbes senior contributor William Arruda, “Belonging is critical for inspiring a productive, engaged culture within any team.”
The hybrid/remote work environment has diluted human interaction, along with people’s sense of belonging. More than half of American employees reported feelings of isolation in the past year, and, according to McKinsey, 51% of people who left their jobs in 2022 did so in search of belonging and connection.
Great Place to Work revealed that when employees experience belonging, “they’re three times more likely to say their workplace is fun and five times more likely to want to stay at their company for a long time.” So, how can organizations foster a sense of belonging?
  • Make “belonging” a mantra:  Create opportunities for employees to interact.
  • Foster Empathy: Seeing the world through others’ eyes enhances connection.
  • Embrace differences:  Recognize the distinct value that different perspectives bring.
  • Establish a shared purpose and vision:  Common goals unite people.
  • Invest in talent development:  Sponsor team training and coaching programs. 
  • Be collaborative:  Be more expansive about whom to include in communication, meetings, and in the decision-making process.
  • Express gratitude:  Appreciation is appreciated, so find ways to embed this practice.
  • Reward those who foster belonging: Leaders can increase everyone’s sense of belonging when they call out others for building an environment that amps up belonging. 
What has your organization done lately to foster belonging? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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How Great Leaders Motivate

4/11/2023

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The best leaders motivate and inspire people. Writing in
Inc., contributing editor Marcel Schwantes characterizes four simple, accessible behaviors that consistently create impact and drive performance:



  1. Set clear goals:  Help people see the context of their work on a micro level -- the small stuff matters -- and connect the dots on a macro level, helping them envision the bigger picture.  Gallup’s extensive research shows that not having clear goals is a key cause of employee disengagement.
  2. Schedule more one-on-ones:  Most leaders don't spend enough time getting to know the interests, strengths and desires of those who report to them. Strong relationships are intrinsically motivating.
  3. Give employees freedom to explore:  When Google encouraged employees to allocate 20 percent of their time to projects they thought would benefit the company, employees became more motivated by internal factors like curiosity and independence.
  4. Recognize your people:  Everyone needs encouragement. Gift your employees with confidence and affirmation. The more specific the praise, the better.
What have you done lately to motivate your employees, and what has been done to motivate you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
​

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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The Payoff in Leadership Development

4/4/2023

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Without quality leadership, employee engagement and retention are endangered. Turnover hurts the bottom line, since hiring a new employee to replace an old one can cost anywhere from an additional 50 – 200 percent of the role’s salary. A far better solution, according to Katy Tynan, a principal analyst at Forrester, a global research and consulting firm, is to invest in leadership training.
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According to a survey of more than 700 HR leaders conducted by Forrester and HR Executive Magazine, 65 percent of businesses spend up to $2500 per employee annually on such trainings. Consider that if five managers making $100,000 annually quit, a company might need to spend $500,000 replacing them.

Of course, leadership development isn’t something you can simply throw money at, and there is no guarantee that one course will transform a person’s leadership ability. Tynan’s advice for retaining the best talent is to reinforce workshops and virtual learning programs with immediate opportunities for practice. For example, after a workshop on giving feedback, HR leaders could match attendees with learning partners to practice in simulated real situations. 
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Time, of course, has its own cost, but creating a learning community of practice can have deep and lasting benefits.
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How much does your organization spend on leadership training, and how much time does it allocate for follow-up? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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The Rewards of Chit Chat

3/28/2023

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Each of us has a network of casual acquaintances and even near-strangers we encounter in our daily lives. We might not think of these as relationships, but it turns out that conversing with people with whom we cross paths has wide-ranging benefits.

According to Dr. Bob Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard and author of the book The Good Life, “brief but warm exchanges have a direct effect on happiness.” These kinds of seemingly trivial interactions can impact mood and energy throughout the day. And ongoing research initiated in the 1970s has shown “weak ties” contribute to a greater sense of well-being. 
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Talking to those we hardly know may feel awkward, even daunting. But research shows that after people have conversations, they are liked more than they realize. Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex, who has led pivotal research on the positive effects of having frequent casual interactions with strangers and acquaintances, advises not to be put off even if, once in a while, you appear to get rebuffed. Sure, someone might be late for an appointment and cut your dialogue short; even so, “remind yourself that they don’t know you, so they’re not rejecting you based on who you are.”

If you get back on the horse and talk to someone else, you might even learn something. Pretty much everyone has a good story, not to mention a recommendation for a new neighborhood restaurant. The fellow tenant on the elevator, the guy at the coffee shop, the fellow dog-walker all have the ability to “make your day.” Give them a chance, and see how you feel.

When is the last time you struck up a conversation with someone you hardly knew? How did it go? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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Signs You Might Talk Too Much

3/21/2023

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Are you having a conversation or delivering a monologue? According to Mark Goulston, MD, business psychiatrist and author of Just Listen, there are three phases of conversation. In the first, we impart relevant, useful, interesting information. In the second, we “get on a roll” where it feels good to keep talking, but we don't notice the other party is barely listening. The third stage occurs when we lose track of what we were saying and the other person loses interest.

“Unfortunately,” says Goulston, “rather than reengaging your innocent victim by urging them to talk and then listening to them, the usual impulse is to talk even more in an effort to regain their interest.” This happens not only because humans have a hunger to be listened to, but also because talking about ourselves releases the pleasure hormone dopamine. Gabbers become addicted to that pleasure.

Goulston recommends a strategy called the Traffic Light rule, shared with him by fellow coach Marty Nemko. In the first 20 seconds of talking, your light is green as long as your statement is relevant to the conversation. But the light turns yellow for the next 20 seconds. At the 40-second mark, your light is red. Although there are times you want to run that red light and keep talking, it’s worth considering stopping. According to Goulston, “filibustering is usually a conversational turn-off, and may result in both people deteriorating into alternating monologues.”

Have you ever been aware that your listener has started to tune you out, and what do you do about it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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Navigating Tough Conversations with Employees

3/14/2023

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Tommy Mello, writing in Inc., says he doesn’t relish having tough conversations with employees. He is certainly not alone. “A lot of leaders have a hard time having tough conversations, and that is one of the big reasons why companies fail.” Quoting Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, he reminds us, "Never be afraid of the conversations you are having. Be afraid of the conversations you are not having."

So how can you improve your approach for tough conversations?
  • Listen first:  Understand employees’ goals and perspectives. If they are underperforming, ask them what the challenge has been from their point of view.
  • Make it about them, not you:  Encourage them and let them know you can figure things out together. “Get them to write down their dreams on paper, and remind them in future meetings: ‘You told me that this is what you want, and I want to help you get what you want.’”
  • Make conversations proactive, not reactive: Don't wait for problems to take you by surprise. Try to head them off by having weekly (or at least monthly) meetings with direct reports where everyone checks in with their results and concerns.
  • Create a culture in which employees initiate tough conversations:  Employees should feel free to directly address their own strengths and areas for improvement.

How did you recently handle a tough conversation with an employee? Did you initiate it or did they? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Deliver Bad News First

3/7/2023

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Life often presents us with good news/bad news scenarios. When we have to break such news to others, we tend to want to lead with the good stuff. But when Jeff Haden, contributing editor of Inc., polled his readers, most said they would rather hear bad news first.

The tendency to lead with good news is something researchers call “priming emotional-protection.” In non-research speak, this means: “This might go badly, so I'll ease into it.” 

If you have bad news to share, it's natural to seek to protect yourself from how other people may react. But often the goal of delivering bad news is to alert others about a potential issue, to resolve a situation, or to change a plan or direction. So take a moment to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't they deserve to know -- and the sooner the better -- of any problem that they are facing?

Once people know that there is bad news, they can shift into problem-solving mode. And here is where the news deliverer can be especially helpful. What has already been done to fix the problem? For example, let’s say your company makes laptops, but one of your chip suppliers can’t deliver for a month. That's the bad news. But suppose the news deliverer now tells you that they have already alerted sales and customer service and have already reached out to alternative suppliers. That’s the good news. Now you can pitch in and offer suggestions.

Do you tend to deliver bad news before good, or the other way around? Do you think you might alter your approach? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
​

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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A Dose of Humor Helps At Work

2/21/2023

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Research suggests that humor helps us build stronger bonds with each other, with links to greater satisfaction in the workplace. And although there may be times when spirited joke telling strikes the wrong note, a does of levity can be helpful in many situations. “Levity is a mind-set,” says Naomi Bagdonas, a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, who advises executives on leading with humor and humanity. “It’s looking for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed in the world around you.” 

Like any other skill, a sense of levity can be cultivated. Writing in The New York Times, Carolyn Todd offers suggestions from experts:
  • Look for things that are just the tiniest bit amusing. Try noticing what’s true, and a little bit “off.” Sensitizing yourself to these moments primes you to savor them.
  • Create a levity diary.  Find time to record your amusing experiences.  If on your morning commute, the train conductor makes an unintelligible announcement, and you make amused eye contact with another passenger, that’s material for your diary.
  • When something goes “wrong,” try to take it lightly. Reframing mishaps and mistakes will be easier in the moment if you imagine what funny stories they will make later.
  • Spend time with people who make you chuckle. Humor and lightness come naturally when we’re with people who put us in a joyful state,
  • Make humor a main ingredient in your media diet. Treat yourself to humorous TV shows, podcasts, and films, and follow comedians and humor writers on social media.
  • Get to know your own sense of humor. Are you boldly irreverent, self-deprecating, sarcastic, or a charismatic storyteller? Understanding your style helps you improve it.
Can you give an example of when levity was successfully used in your workplace? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
​

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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Should You Make Yourself More Likeable?

2/14/2023

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Are you wanting to expand your influence and develop your personal and professional networks? Then it makes sense to consider what will naturally make you a more likeable person. 

Writing in Inc., Marcel Schwantes, contributing editor and founder of Leadership from the Core offers these guidelines:

  1. Ask interesting questions:  Research shows that curious people connect better with others. Being interested is more important in building and maintaining a relationship than being interesting; this is what gets the dialogue flowing. 
  2. Smile more:  Body language experts say people form an opinion about us in a fraction of a second. To avoid giving off a negative nonverbal cue, simply smile more. Smiles are indicators of safety. Even smiling at a stranger often brings a reciprocal smile, or at least a nod. It's a quick way to create connection.
  3. Listen intently:  Few behaviors enhance a conversation as much as actually attending to what people have to say. Listening signals respect and curiosity. We like people who are interested in us.
  4. Express Joy Visibly: Those who choose to enjoy life attract others. Expressing what makes you happy and grateful also makes you likeable and influential. 

Do you engage in any of these likeability-enhancing behaviors, and which would you like to cultivate more? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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