Video calls are not unlike meetings ‘in real life,’ in that a simple phrase might really turn someone off—or really light them up. If you’re looking for phrases likely to build instant rapport, try these—as recommended by career coach Michael Thompson:

• “Can you say that again? I want to write It down.” – Complimenting someone’s Zoom background is nice, but nothing can compare to letting them know you like the way they think. This phrase also lets the speaker know that the listener is open-minded and curious.”
• “Thanks for asking.” – Typically, when people get asked a question, they are quick to answer it. But if you can delay just a moment to allow gratitude to come out, you not only get to give an answer, but you also make the other person feel valued.
• “Sorry I interrupted you; I get excited. Please continue.” – Wi-Fi lag can lead to even more interruptions than usual. Saying this not only allows the other person to finish their thought, but also elicits a smile.
• “I’d love your input on something.” – A simple way to get people to open up is by sharing a struggle of your own and then asking them for their thoughts. Their suggestions may help you, and the other person sees you as someone who admits they don’t have life figured out.

Do you have a go-to phrase or two you use in video formats to foster better personal connections? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Dreading confrontation, many of us avoid or delay uncomfortable conversations even with co-workers who sit nearby. It’s even easier to
let issues languish when you only see your teammate on a screen.
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Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Liane Davey, a team effectiveness advisor and author of The Good Fight, offers guidance for managing potential conflict before it escalates:
 

• Instead of springing feedback on your colleague, call and ask if you can set up some time to discuss how things are going, and what could be improved. 
• When you have the conversation, try to use video in addition to audio so your facial expressions can help convey your positive intentions.
• Provide clear, judgment–free observations of your teammate’s behavior and describe the impact on you.
• As you’re talking, annotate your conversation with what you’re thinking and feeling in real time. For example, if you’re taken aback by feedback, say, “Wow, that’s a surprise to me — I had no idea!” If you’re struggling with the conversation, say, “This is difficult for me, but I’m glad we’re talking about all of this.”
• Don’t stop until you each have a clear vision for how a similar situation could play out better the next time.
• To ensure that your commitments don’t fade just because you won’t bump into each other in the hall, spend a few minutes at the end of your conversation developing an action plan, and consider scheduling a time to follow up.

 
How have you addressed conflicts with remote co-workers, and were your strategies successful? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

“The one easy way to become worth 50 percent more than you are now is to hone your communication skills. You can have all the brainpower in the world, but you have to be able to transmit it. And the transmission is communication.” 
 
Research backs this up with empirical evidence. A study from the Carnegie Institute of Technology found that 85 percent of a person's success comes from "human engineering"--the ability to effectively communicate, negotiate, and lead, both when speaking and listening. (Technical knowledge comprises the other 15 percent.)
 
Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication: Sign up for our BreakThrough Communication winter academy.

If your job involves serving people, part of your work is dealing with their frustration. It's all too easy to take it personally, and—let’s face it—sometimes they do get personal. You may also find yourself having to solve a problem you didn’t create, and then offering an apology on top of that.
 
But stop yourself if you have a tendency to apologize using some form of these six words: “ I’m sorry you feel that way.”
 
Writing in Inc., columnist Jason Aten notes that saying this isn’t really an apology at all. “First, you can't actually be sorry for the way someone else feels. You can only be sorry for your own behavior and the things within your control. More important, however, is that the sentiment behind those words is something along the lines of: ‘Look, I don't know why you're being irrational about this. This isn't my fault, and I think it's ridiculous that you're upset with me.’”
 
Telling someone you're "sorry they feel that way" avoids responsibility for your role in the situation. So, what are your options?

• If you did something requiring an apology, apologize. "I'm really sorry I didn’t deliver on our promise." Own whatever it was, say you're sorry, and do what is necessary to fix it.
• If you didn't do anything wrong, recognize that in many cases, it may well still be up to you to offer a solution. In that case, don't apologize. Instead, try this: "I can see how this would be extremely frustrating. Let me see what I can do to fix this." This acknowledges the problem and their feelings. It doesn't cast judgment on those feelings but validates them and lets the person know that you've heard them and care about making the situation better.
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How did you handle the situation the last time you had to apologize to a dissatisfied colleague or customer? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.