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Three Questions to Consider Before Speaking

10/26/2021

A few years ago, Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied, learned a valuable life lesson from comedian Craig Ferguson, who said he’d learned it after three marriages.

Writing in Inc., Bariso recounted the three questions Ferguson said you should ask yourself before speaking:

Does this need to be said? Responding to a provocative social media post, or exploding at someone who, says, cuts in a line, may not be worth the ire it inspires. Maybe…fuggedaboutit!
Does this need to be said by me? Colleague late for a meeting…again? Maybe there’s someone better suited to correct them.
Does this need to be said by me now? Timing can be everything. If you or the person you want to speak with is in a bad mood, waiting can reap a high reward.

This doesn’t mean you should never speak your mind, but to be mindful when you do. Another good question to ask yourself is, “Will I regret not saying this?”

Do you have a stopgap technique you use to keep yourself from blurting? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

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Five Ways to Tell if Someone is Socially Skilled

10/13/2021

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Social skills correlate with career success, and lacking them can hold you back. The good news, according to Fast Company columnist Judith Humphrey, founder of the Humphrey Group leadership communication firm, is that you certainly can improve your interpersonal skill set, once you know what to focus on.

Here are her five concrete indicators that someone is socially adept:

They show appreciation for others: Complimenting will not make you feel seem like a suck-up. To the person being complimented it will “sound like the absolute truth.”
They listen deeply: True listening is harder than you think. It helps to make eye contact, have the intent to genuinely understand, and try to sense if there is something being left unsaid.
They’re enthusiastic: Upbeat, positive people give us energy to draw upon. Blamers and complainers do the opposite.
They use body language effectively: Social skills transcend words. Consider your facial expression and tone of voice. Align your body posture with that of the person you’re talking with.
They’re grateful: Saying “thank you” goes a long way, so never miss an opportunity to do so!

How do you ascertain whether or not a colleague is socially skilled? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

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Three Questions to Consider Before Speaking

Five Ways to Tell if Someone is Socially Skilled

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Three Questions to Consider Before Speaking

Five Ways to Tell if Someone is Socially Skilled

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