As Valentine’s Day approaches, consider giving your loved ones these gifts—each with more staying power than flowers, cards, or chocolates:  

1. ​Listen when your impulse is to argue. Listening, a rare and pure gift from the heart, requires us to be quiet long enough to ponder our partner’s message.
2. Edit accusations that could make your partner feel put down and judged. Instead, describe your feelings. “I feel lonely” has a different ring than, “You’re selfish and unresponsive.”
3. Acknowledge your role in a problem. Every issue has another side. When we describe how we contributed, even unintentionally, to a problem, we encourage our partner to hear us out. For example, you might say: “When I asked how long your mother was going to stay with us and we got into a tiff, I could have clarified that I enjoy your mother’s company and was asking out of curiosity and not judgment.”
4. Agree on a solution. Reach an explicit, collaborative agreement about what each of you will do differently in the future.
5. Follow up on your agreements. Many attempts at resolving conflict end in failure but following up proves your commitment to view conflict resolution as a process rather than a one-shot deal.

As marriage and business partners for over 40 years, we can attest that while confronting issues is never easy, avoidance is worse. And we still endorse chocolate too: It’s good for your heart!
We want to hear: What communication behaviors would you like to change in your relationships this year, and what steps are you taking to do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

New Years resolutions, if not exactly “made to be broken,” don't have great staying power. Seventy–five percent of “resolvers” keep their resolutions after one week, 64 percent after a month, and merely 8 percent twelve months later.

But the reasons go beyond lack of will power. According to Elizabeth Grace Saunders, time management coach and author of How To Invest Your Time Like Money, many people fail to accomplish new goals because they don’t consciously eliminate old activities from their schedule to make room for the new. It’s like “trying to stuff more papers into a file drawer that’s already packed tight.” 

If your resolutions involve workplace goals and behaviors, consider the following:

• Question all of your work commitments.  The start of a new year marks the perfect time to reevaluate what you’re doing, and why.
• Reassess your work style. Now assess how you accomplish work. Do you really need all those meetings? Can you interact less with messaging technology?
• Add new goals strategically. Once you intentionally create space, you can strategically add in the activities that you want in your life. To say “yes” to the new, you must say “no” to some of the old.
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What do you plan to resolve for this coming year, and how will you make room for it to happen? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Welcome to our Community of Practice Forum, a forum dedicated to highlighting people and organizations around the world who have created best practices by applying our core communication tools and models to real life, real time situations.

The purpose of this forum is to serve as an incubator for ideas, where people share and learn from each other’s experiences.  It is a place to inspire others and also be acknowledged for your cutting edge communication practices.
  Our goal is to create a community of people practicing together; a powerful support network with the purpose of helping each other to transform engrained communication habits into sustained, positive outcomes.

So please share any applications – big or small – that have worked for you.  We look forward to joining the conversation.