As the pandemic lingers and economic insecurity looms, stress and uncertainly are pervasive in the workforce. Since uncertain environments make people more likely to engage in uncivil, and disrespectful communication—rudeness is on the rise, and so are its repercussions

According to Shannon G. Taylor and Lauren R. Locklear, writing in the Sloan Management Review, “Employees who experience incivility at work perform worse in their jobs, are less helpful to colleagues, and are more likely to steal from their employer. Rudeness also hurts employee retention and the bottom line. According to one estimate, handling a single incident of rudeness can cost an organization more than $25,000.” So what should managers be doing to keep rudeness from begetting more rudeness in a vicious cycle?

• Develop strong, shared expectations for appropriate behavior. Provide a strong example with your own behavior, encouraging employees to take cues from you. Be sure to define not only what positive behavior looks like, but also which negative behaviors are unacceptable. Company policies against incivility are most effective when managers clearly define what bad behavior entails. 

• Provide targeted training. To reduce uncivil behavior and its impact on employee turnover, offer training for teams struggling with a communication deficiency you’ve identified: A lack of active listening, or difficulty giving and receiving feedback. Improving these communication practices helps employees better understand their colleagues, so they can recognize and respond to one another’s needs. 
• Encourage gratitude and appreciation. Regularly encourage employees to thank and acknowledge each other. Make this real by showing them how to build expressions of gratitude into your team’s day-to-day work. For example, start meetings by asking each person to share something they appreciate about a colleague.

Have you experienced rudeness at work, and is your organization doing enough to mitigate it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

Brent Gleeson, a Forbes contributor, first learned about effective leadership in chaotic environments as a Navy SEAL. “Many, if not all, of those basic principles apply in business and life in general,” he says. Among the most widely applicable lessons he cites: 

They know the difference between “activity” and “results”: SEAL teams say, “find work.” If you find yourself at the end of your To Do list, that’s not when your contribution to the team ends. Make a new list of priorities and execute -- not busy work, but activities that align with team goals.

• They focus on small, continuous improvements: “If you have ten priorities, you have no priorities.”
• They make decisions that align with their values: They have taken the time to identify their values and can lead with authenticity because they consistently rely on them.
• They focus on what is in their immediate control: Stay in your three-foot world, say the SEALS. Maintain situational awareness and focus on what you can influence and execute with the most impact.
• They surround themselves with people who make them better: Successful people keep company with mentors and other successful people. They eschew the company of negative people, who hamper their ability to thrive.
• They inspire others to be successful:  Effective leadership isn’t about cultivating a flock of followers who blindly follow the will of the leader. It’s about developing more autonomous leaders at every level of the organization.

As a leader, which of these principles do you follow, and which might you try to develop going forward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to get your feedback!

If you’ve been swearing more in the past year or so — even at work — you’re not alone. The corporate and financial research platform Sentieo recently combed through a database of around 9,000 conference call transcripts looking for expletives. They found 166 transcripts that contained them from 2021. That's a significant jump from previous years. Just 104 transcripts contained profanity in 2020, 112 in 2019, and 92 in 2018. So swearing at work appears to be up.  
 
Frustration with the pandemic and a work-from-home informality may both be factors in the rise of swearing. Our question: Is cutting loose with language always a bad thing? Experts quoted in Inc. say “not necessarily.”
 
Michael Adams, author of In Praise of Profanity, argues that swearing has many useful social functions including “bringing us together.” There’s an intimacy to profanity precisely because it is somewhat taboo. "Bad words," Adams writes, "are unexpectedly useful in fostering human relations because they carry risk.... We like to get away with things and sometimes we do so with like-minded people." Adams believes that swearing can also help us appear slightly more vulnerable and more authentic — both useful qualities in relationship building.
 
No one is suggesting you begin your next Zoom meeting by imitating a drunken pirate. But for those who are savvy enough to navigate delicate situations, an occasional swear word, science attests, may have genuine utility.
 
Have you ever uttered swear words at work, and how do you feel when co-workers do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above just below the picture — we'd love to hear your thoughts!

Anxious about returning to the office? Join the club. After over a year of remote work, many of us are feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of returning to live work and seeing co-workers on-site rather than on-screen.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Alice Boyes, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of The Anxiety Toolkit, says the idea of getting back to the office might feel surprisingly difficult. Transitions often tend to spike our anxiety; we typically feel anxious about resuming anything we’ve avoided, even if that “avoidance” was externally imposed. Additionally, in the post-pandemic world, personal relationships and boundaries may have shifted.  For example, you may be concerned about who is or isn’t vaccinated and who does or doesn’t observe health and safety protocols.
 
Boyes suggests that we all “be intentional about retaining the best parts of WFH (work from home) and office-life.”  Working from home was a vast experiment, and it probably taught you a lot about what helps or harms your productivity. It likely also taught you a great deal about how you communicate most effectively. Holding on to any beneficial habits might prove to be a challenge when your environment changes—but being conscious of them is a first step.  Beyond that, she adds, “You’ll need to establish these habits almost from day one, as if they were completely new habits. This is because habits need consistent cues, and the cues you had at home will likely no longer be present, at least not in the same way.”
 
What concerns do you have about returning to the office, and how are you preparing for this transition? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Self-reliance is a quintessential American value, but it can be taken too far. At one time or another, everyone could use some help at work, though many are reluctant to ask. (Tweet it!)

Speaking to The New York Times , social psychologist Heidi Grant, author of the book Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You, called the ability to ask for help “a learnable skill.” Although it is a skill we seldom think about, it can have a profound impact on our goals and lives.
 
The good news: People want to help. A 2008 study from Cornell found that subjects “underestimated by as much as 50 percent the likelihood that others would agree to a direct request for help.” The key is:

• Make sure the person you want help from realizes you need assistance.
• Put your desire into words: Ask!
• Be specific with your request and make sure the person knows why you have chosen them in particular.
• Make sure the person you’re asking has the time and resources to help.​

When was the last time you asked for help at work, and how did you go about it? If you have never asked for help, why not? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

Being called on unexpectedly during a meeting can be uncomfortable or even embarrassing. But it doesn’t have to be either. In fact, it can be an opportunity to excel. (Tweet it!)
 
Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Paul Axtell, author of the book Meetings Matter, says, ”Instead of hoping your boss or the person leading the meeting won’t put you on the spot, prepare yourself for this unexpected opportunity to shine.” His advice:

• Carefully prepare for each meeting and trust yourself;
• Start slowly and set up your comments (e.g. “I have three points to make”);
• Give yourself permission to think out loud (e.g. “There’s something I’ve been considering that I don’t have absolute clarity on yet, but I’d like us to think about.”);
• Have set responses at the ready, including:

            --“Please say a bit more about what you’re asking.”
            -- “I don’t have that information, but it’s important and I will get it to   you.”
            -- “I want to be sure that I understand your main concern. Is it…?”
            -- “Did I answer your question, or would you like to follow up?”
 
Have you ever been put on the spot in a meeting? How did you handle it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

What would happen if psychologist Abraham Maslow were to construct his famous Hierarchy of Needs pyramid with regard to the contemporary workplace? Top Facebook executives, in collaboration with Wharton professor Adam Grant, wanted to find out. After examining hundreds of thousands of employee survey answers, they identified three big buckets of needs: career, community, and cause.

Career is about the what of work: having a job that provides autonomy, allows us to use our strengths, and promotes learning and development. Career gives us motivation. (Tweet it!)

Community is about the who of work: feeling connected, respected, cared about, and recognized. Community gives us a sense of belonging.

Cause is about the why of work: feeling that we make a meaningful impact, identifying with our organization’s mission, and believing that it does some good in the world. Cause gives us pride and purpose.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review Grant and the Facebook team commented, “These three buckets make up what’s called the psychological contract — the unwritten expectations and obligations between employees and employers. When that contract is fulfilled, people bring their whole selves to work. But when it’s breached, people become less satisfied and committed. They contribute less. They perform worse.” 
 
Do you resonate with these needs? Are they being met at your workplace or, if not, what should change? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

 For teams to succeed, their members must feel safe. Studies show that psychological safety allows for openness, moderate risk-taking, and creativity (Tweet it!). In order to achieve breakthroughs, people need to take chances—but that won't happen if they fear rejection or ridicule.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Laura DeLizzona, PhD, an instructor at Stanford University, notes that one of the best strategies for making co-workers feels safe—and therefore innovative and productive—is to replace blame with curiosity. “If team members sense that you’re trying to blame them for something, you become their saber-toothed tiger,” she says.
 
While blame leads to defensiveness and disengagement, curiosity indicates a learning mindset. Maybe you don’t have all the facts, so:

• State the problematic behavior or outcome using factual, neutral language, e.g. “In the past quarter there was a decline in sales in your region.”  
• Explore the issue. “I imagine there are many factors at work. Can we uncover what they are?”
• Ask for solutions. The same people who are responsible for creating a problem often hold the keys to solving it.

Can you recall a time when you consciously replaced an urge to blame a coworker with questions indicating curiosity? Did you learn anything unexpected? What was the result? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

We typically try to identify other people’s emotions through their facial expressions—eyes in particular. Eye contact is certainly critical in empathy, and many psychologists use the “Reading the Mind in the Eyes” exercise (where you detect subtle shifts in the looks people give you) to test empathy in their experiments. (http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/)
 
But The Washington Post reports that a new study by Michael Kraus of the Yale School of Management has found that our sense of hearing may be even stronger than sight when it comes to accurately detecting emotion. Kraus found we are more accurate when we hear someone’s voice than when we look only at their facial expressions, or see their face and hear their voice simultaneously. In other words, you may be able to sense someone’s emotional state even better over the phone than in person (Tweet it!).
 
In several follow-up studies, Kraus focused on the reason why the voice—especially when it is the only cue—is such a powerful mode of empathy. Participants were asked to discuss a difficult work situation over a video conferencing platform, using either just the microphone or the mic and video. They were more accurate at detecting each other’s emotions in voice-only calls. When we only listen to voice, he found, our attention for subtleties in vocal tone increases. We simply focus more on the nuances we hear in the way speakers express themselves.
 
So how can we get better at interpreting emotions in voices? The human ability to perceive nuances in voices is extremely sophisticated, research shows. But as with other communication skills, paying attention is key. The more you focus on audio cues, the more you will learn.
 
Can you think of a situation where you were able to “read” important emotional information through someone’s voice alone? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

Senior managers and team leaders are increasingly frustrated by conflicts arising from multi-teaming—having their people assigned to multiple projects simultaneously. Multi-teaming can create efficiencies and limit downtime, but the continual churning of members can weaken group cohesion and identity, making it harder to build trust and resolve issues (Tweet it!). Moreover, individuals may experience stress, fatigue, and burnout as they struggle to manage time and engagement across projects. 

Managers must stay on top of the situation in order to mitigate downsides. Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Heidi Gardner, faculty chair of the Accelerated Leadership Program at Harvard Law School, and Mark Mortensen, chair of the Organizational Behavior Area at INSEAD, suggest best practices based on their 15-year study of team collaboration:

·      Launch each team well to establish trust and familiarity
·      Map everyone’s skills
·      Manage time across teams
·      Create a learning environment
·      Boost motivation
The authors write, “A sense of fairness drives many behaviors. If people feel they are pulling their weight while others slack off, they quickly become demotivated. When team members are tugged in many directions, it’s often difficult for each one to recognize and appreciate how hard the others are working. As the leader, keep publicly acknowledging various members’ contributions…”

Have you worked across multiple teams or shared your team members with others?  What best practices do you suggest; what caveats can you offer? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

Most organizations—sports teams, universities, Fortune 500 companies—focus on rewarding individual performance. They reward the most productive individuals rather than the most effective groups. Writing in Harvard Business Review, Professor Jay Van Bavel of NYU and Professor Dominic Parker of Lehigh University, both scientists at the Neuroleadership Institute, contend that leaders in these organizations are overlooking something fundamental about human nature—our tribalism (Tweet it!).
 
“Group identity can explain a range of remarkable behaviors, from putting in long hours at work to making the ultimate sacrifice for one’s country,” they note. “Many experiments have now shown that members will act to benefit their groups, even when doing so exacts a personal cost. One reason is because we share in the success and rewards of our in-group members—we bask in reflected glory and feel pleasure when a team member succeeds.
 
To help cultivate a positive group identity, Van Bavel and Parker recommend that leaders reward behavior that advances the goals of the organization, rather than the individual. Effective leaders, they say, provide bonuses, recognition, raises, flexibility, and opportunities based on an entire team’s performance. To avoid free-riding (team members shirking personal responsibility), they suggest giving individual rewards to individuals who make important contributions to a team’s success, i.e. “unsung heroes who work late, cover for colleagues, and enhance the success of the group.” Combining individual and collective rewards, they conclude, promotes stronger group identity and ensures that individual members are encouraged and motivated (both financially and socially) to pursue team goals and help the group succeed.
 
If you work as part of a team, how are your team’s members rewarded? Do you see areas for improvement with regard to rewards and incentives? To join the conversation, click "comments" below on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.

Want to find an ideal team player?  Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and The Ideal Team Player, suggests a three-trait cluster to be on the lookout for (Tweet it!) . In a Forbes interview he says a great team player is:

• Humble – lacking excessive ego and sharing credit;
• Hungry – driven, passionate, always looking for more to do;
• Smart – having common sense and an ability to deal with others.

What makes humble, hungry, and smart people powerful and unique “is not the individual attributes themselves, but rather the required combination of the three,” Lencioni explained.
 
Think of the best people on your team—do you consider them humble, hungry, and smart? How can you tell? To join the conversation, click "comments" below on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

Over the years, we’ve cited research showing that employees who have the power to make decisions and implement plans are often more satisfied and more productive. This principle applies to teams as well as individuals.
 
The higher a team’s autonomy, the more active learning and the less  emotional exhaustion team members report. Group uncertainty about degree of autonomy reduces productivity and effectiveness. This means that independence can devolve into gridlock or chaos if people aren’t clear about their level of authority. To ensure the likelihood of success, managers should balance engagement with enough structure to clarify boundaries and expectations.
 
Joan F. Cheverie, manager of professional development programs at the higher education and IT nonprofit EDUCAUSE, offers advice to managers who want to empower teams: “Stop telling your staff how to do their job and, instead, set the strategic direction, deadlines, and benchmarks and then allow them to determine how to accomplish the job.” David Rock, executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute, suggests giving employees a framework within which they can make their own choices: “Try defining the end result really clearly,” he writes, “and outlining the boundaries of what behaviors are okay. Then let people create within this frame.”
 
We want to hear: How have you empowered teams to be more autonomous?  And how has a team you’ve worked on been empowered? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.