 This New Year, consider making a resolution to practice 12 months of conscious, healthy communication. Most people navigate through important moments of communication on automatic pilot, reacting from emotion rather than intention. But we can transform our relationships by getting off autopilot and being proactive with positive communication.
As communication researchers and partners in work and marriage for almost 45 years, we’ve experienced both the joy and challenge of personal and business communication and we’ve found some simple steps to resolving conflict and building trust in relationships:
Confronting issues is never an easy matter, but avoidance can be hazardous not just to our relationships, but also to our own health. Here’s wishing you a happy, healthy, communicative 2017! We want to hear. Do you have a New Year’s resolution that could lead to stronger communication? To join the conversation, click "comments" below on our Community of Practice Forum. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.
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 Whenever we ask people to share stories about stressful family encounters at the holidays, we are amazed at the outpouring of fraught memories. But reliving the conflicts of holidays past won’t help us deal with the present. This season, try something new. When Uncle Joe or Aunt Blanche blurts out an unwelcome opinion or a political jab, resist the temptation to engage in point/counterpoint. This quickly devolves into a situation where everyone feels the only way to “win” is to get louder and LOUDER!
Instead, ask for more information about your relative’s point of view—and actually listen to that information. (Do this even if the point of view they are sharing is a direct criticism of you.) Only true listening can provide you the information you need to have influence. And it is only when your “adversary” feels heard that they will even begin to consider another point of view (Tweet it!). Additionally: *avoid conversation killers like “You always…” and “You never…” (Tweet it!); *show the other person that you understand how they came to feel the way they do; *own your part of the situation and acknowledge how you may be contributing to it. Be realistic: You are not going to achieve perfect harmony with everyone at the dinner table. But with a little resolve you can certainly improve your batting average. And with the current political landscape, every bit helps. Happy holidays! We want to hear: How did this advice work for you this holiday season? Join the conversation and click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.  When it comes to persuading others, appearing confident matters – even as much as competence. If we’re feeling less than fully confident in a situation, there are still many things we can do to project self-assurance.
Writing in Forbes, career counselor Amy Blank offers tips for exuding confidence with your body language—even before you utter one word (Tweet it!):
And here’s the best part: It is possible to act ourselves into new ways of feeling (Tweet it!). As you perform these simple actions, you may actually begin to feel more confident! We want to hear: What strategies do you use to appear more confident than you may actually feel? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion.  Over the years, we’ve cited research showing that employees who have the power to make decisions and implement plans are often more satisfied and more productive. This principle applies to teams as well as individuals.
The higher a team’s autonomy, the more active learning and the less emotional exhaustion team members report. Group uncertainty about degree of autonomy reduces productivity and effectiveness. This means that independence can devolve into gridlock or chaos if people aren’t clear about their level of authority. To ensure the likelihood of success, managers should balance engagement with enough structure to clarify boundaries and expectations. Joan F. Cheverie, manager of professional development programs at the higher education and IT nonprofit EDUCAUSE, offers advice to managers who want to empower teams: “Stop telling your staff how to do their job and, instead, set the strategic direction, deadlines, and benchmarks and then allow them to determine how to accomplish the job.” David Rock, executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute, suggests giving employees a framework within which they can make their own choices: “Try defining the end result really clearly,” he writes, “and outlining the boundaries of what behaviors are okay. Then let people create within this frame.” We want to hear: How have you empowered teams to be more autonomous? And how has a team you’ve worked on been empowered? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum. If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion. |
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