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Be curious, not furious.

1/31/2023

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Defensiveness is a deterrent to productive communication. As soon as you get your hackles up, a new conversation begins — and this one is all about your reaction! The original topic is derailed.

As Debra Roberts, interpersonal communication author, writes in Inc., we can easily spot defensive reactions in others, but it can be harder to spot them in ourselves. We all wear emotional armor and often feel threatened when it is pierced. 

Defensiveness is a form of self-protection that can present in many forms: Making excuses, ignoring or talking over the other person, criticizing the behavior of the other person, or becoming highly emotional.

To curtail defensive reactions:
  • Pause before responding:  Breathe deeply, ground your feet on the floor, and stay present. Pause at least 5 seconds before replying.
  • Shift your mindset: Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. What do they wish you would understand? Create space for the other person to feel heard.
  • Buy some time: Ask for more information: “Can you tell me more about that so I can understand? Is there anything else?” or even “I’d like some time to think about that.” 

​What do you typically do when you start to feel defensive? If its an over-reaction, do you think you can break the cycle? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear about your experiences!

For more details on how to respond non-defensively to criticism, check out our BreakThrough Conflict curriculum.  

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Build Loyalty Through Engagement

1/24/2023

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If you're struggling with turnover, or looking to solidify what's currently working in your organization, you've likely been thinking about employee engagement plans. With the media continually talking about attrition and “quiet quitting,” this seems an urgent topic to address.

Organizations need engagement plans that resonate with employees, writes executive coach Robin Camarote. Yet too often such plans are a hodge-podge of initiatives. “Engagement is separate from compensation policies, rewards, and appreciation efforts, like parties and gifts,” says Camarote. "We work best," concludes the author, "when we are invited to participate in arriving at solutions to our day-to-day struggles."

The most effective employee engagement programs consist of a series of conversations among leaders and staff that address four essential pillars of engagement:  Purpose, Communication, Workplace Environment, and Relationships. 

These four engagement pillars can include as much or as little formality as desired. For a more simple approach, consider hosting a series of open-ended discussions focusing on one pillar at a time.

To learn more about structuring employee engagement conversations, check out our Hardwiring Teamwork curriculum.   

What is your organization doing to enhance employee engagement? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.   

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Make Meetings Great

1/17/2023

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“There are countess ways to screw up a meeting,” writes contributing editor Jeff Haden in Inc.. In fact, many employees view meetings as “costly” and “unproductive.”

Research shows meetings are even less useful when they start late and when there are too many of them. They are especially counter-productive when participants complain in ways that express futility. Killer phrases like “Nothing can be done about that” or “Nothing will work” can set off a chain reaction of negativity that — as you can imagine — lessens the odds of productive outcomes. 

Yet, Haden says, smart leaders know how to convert even a sense of futility into effective problem solving. Here’s how: Begin setting an expectation that requires everyone to reframe objections or different opinions as questions.    

If a participant says, ”There’s no way we can get everyone to work overtime this weekend,” the leader can reply, “Please reframe that as a question.”  That might sound like:  “How can we get our staff to work overtime this weekend?” Similarly, “We will never finish this job on time,” becomes “What actions can we take to finish this job on time?” 

Soon enough, such reframing becomes a habit! Now, you’re in problem solving mode.

Many of you have experienced our Hardwiring Teamwork course that offers step-by-step guidelines on how to make meetings successful. Check it out here. 
​
What do you do to ensure your meetings are productive, and what do you avoid? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Actions of Great Leaders

1/3/2023

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It’s easy to enumerate the qualities of a good leader (inspiring, authentic, collaborative, empowering), but what are the actions that enable leaders to personify these qualities? According to Inc., contributing Jeff Haden, great leaders carry out several of the following strategies:
  • You Promote the Right People:  When employees feel promotions are fair and well deserved, productivity goes up and turnover goes down. Make sure your employees understand the value, and the key drivers of outstanding performance, for every position. The more they understand the responsibilities and goals of a particular job, the more likely they are to understand why you chose the individual who fills that role.
  • You Deal with Toxic Employees: The bad behavior of a toxic employee can be infectious. Removing a toxic employee can significantly boost morale and the bottom line. 
  • You Don’t Serve the Feedback Sandwich: This term refers to leading with a positive, sharing the negative or "constructive" feedback, then closing with another positive. Sound good? Alas, research shows this makes most employees feel manipulated or patronized. Instead try something like:  "I'm giving you this feedback because I have very high expectations for you that I know you can reach."
  • You Admit You Don't Know Everything: Humble leaders are more effective because they are seen as empathetic, approachable, relatable, and helpful. You should be seen as someone who wants to get things done — and knows you can’t do it alone.

Which of the above strategies do you believe is most important to your own leadership style? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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  • Courses
    • All Courses
    • BreakThrough Conflict
    • Hardwiring Teamwork
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  • Ways To Learn
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  • Results And Impact
    • Results
    • Impact
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    • Meet The Glasers
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  • Contact