Being a leader involves getting buy-in for your decisions, even from those who may not agree with you. In recent research by Harvard Business School professor Laura Huang and Harvard MBA student Ryan Yu for Huang’s new book, Edge: Turning Adversity Into Advantage, 60 leaders were observed and interviewed as they tried to change minds of people who initially disagreed with them. Depending on what was driving their detractor’s resistance, they approached the situation with one of the following three targeted strategies:

• The Cognitive Conversation: If someone opposes your idea with analytical reasoning, offer up sound arguments with a strong presentation. The goal is to show the person that, on an objective and factual basis, their initial stance on the situation is less reasonable than your argument. Be cautious about not introducing emotions into the discussion, and avoid broad generalizations.
• The Champion Conversation: When the detractor isn’t easily persuaded through cognitive arguments, or when they harbor a grievance in your relationship, debates can be futile. Instead, invest time in personally learning about them and building rapport. Gradually convert this detractor into someone who is your champion or advocate, perhaps by shedding more light on the qualities that you value in them and how your values align.
• The Credible Colleague Approach: If the detractor’s deeply held personal beliefs make them fundamentally opposed to your proposal, then—rather than trying to change their mind yourself—bring in a credible colleague. A champion of your position from another part of the organization, whether a peer or manager, may be better suited to convince this individual. A credible colleague allows your challenger to disentangle who you are from what your argument is, and then to evaluate your idea based on its objective merits. If you and the detractor are at an impasse, the credible colleague might just tip the scales in your favor.

 
What strategies have you used to identify the source of a colleague’s objections to your ideas and change their mind? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

We only know one thing for sure about post-pandemic workplaces: They will be different. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Laura Empson, professor at London’s Case Business School and Jennifer Howard- Grenville, professor at the Cambridge Judge Business School, define this pandemic as a liminal experience, an “in between” occurrence that disrupts normal life for a prolonged time and from which those who have survived return transformed. Such experiences are disturbing, but “also represent potent opportunities for reflection, discovery, and even reinvention.”

​In the post-Covid world, leaders should not try to recreate their pre-Covid cultures, say the authors. Since people will return with unanswered questions and potentially incompatible expectations, leaders need to recognize this and consider how to respond. They suggest steps leaders can take now to prepare their organizations to emerge stronger in the post-pandemic world.

• Emerge gradually: Some employees may be “gung ho” to return to normal; others may be exhausted or confused. All will need time to adjust and to process what they have experienced.
• Identify what to retain and what to discard: Identify which long-established pre-pandemic practices should be reinstated, which pandemic-driven practices should be retained, and which pandemic-era practices should be discarded.
• Don't lose the liminal altogether: The pandemic has taken a toll socially and economically, yet many people and organizations discovered new strengths and identified new opportunities. Show that you value the spirit of experimentation and adaptability that the last year engendered.

How do you think your workplace might alter after the pandemic, and how do you
plan to sustain the best changes? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Employees in high-trust organizations are more productive, more energetic, collaborate better, suffer less stress and stay with their employers longer. So affirms research conducted by Paul J. Zak, founding director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, Professor of Economics, Psychology, and Management at Claremont Graduate University, and CEO of Immersion Neuroscience. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Zak identifies eight measurable behaviors that foster trust:

1. Recognize excellence: Neuroscience shows this has most impact on trust when it occurs right after a goal has been met, when it comes from peers, and when it’s tangible, unexpected, personal, and public.
2. Induce “challenge stress”: When a team tackles a difficult but achievable task, the moderate stress releases neurochemicals that intensify focus and strengthen social connections.
3. Give people discretion: Once trained, allow employees the opportunity to manage people and execute projects on their own.
4. Enable job crafting: Trust employees to choose which projects they’ll work on—focusing energies on what they care about most.
5. Share information broadly: Organizations that share their plans with employees reduce uncertainty about where they are headed and why.
6. Intentionally build relationships: When people intentionally build social ties at work, their performance improves.
7. Facilitate whole-person growth: Acquiring new work skills is a plus, but investing in the whole person has a powerful effect on engagement and retention.
8. Show vulnerability: Ask for help from colleagues instead of continually being the one with the answers.

 
“Ultimately,” Zak says, “you cultivate trust by setting a clear direction, giving people what they need…and getting out of their way.”
 
Does your organization inspire trust, and how does that affect performance? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

Anxiety about public speaking may be so universal because it is “baked in.” Harkening back to prehistoric times, the brain’s amygdala, a kind of panic button, activates when we perceive we are being watched. The solution, says Sarah Gershman, president of Green Room Speakers and a professor at the McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University, is to turn our attention away from ourselves and toward helping the audience.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Gershman offers advice on shifting from a self-conscious mode to a generous one:

• When preparing, think of the audience. Identify their needs, spoken and unspoken, and craft a message that speaks directly to that.

 

• Before you speak, refocus. Tell yourself, “Brain, this presentation is not about me. It’s about helping my audience.” Over time (usually between four and six presentations), your brain will begin to get it, and you will become less nervous.

 

• While speaking, make eye contact. Instead of scanning the room, make eye contact with one individual per thought. It is far easier (and more effective) to have a series of one-on-one conversations than it is to speak to everyone at once.

 
“We know the power of generosity to give us a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and meaning,” writes Gersham. “Generosity is just as powerful in speaking. It turns a nerve-wracking and even painful experience into one of giving and helping others. A generous speaker is calmer, more relaxed, and — most important — more effective at reaching the audience and making the desired impact.”
 
What is your greatest concern when you speak in public, and why? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

​More than a third of U.S. companies have abandoned the traditional performance appraisal process. These include tech companies such as Adobe, Dell, Microsoft, and IBM, professional services firms like Deloitte and PwC, and early adopters in other industries, including GE, the longtime role model for traditional appraisals.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Peter Cappelli, the George W. Taylor Professor of Management at Wharton and Anna Tavis, Clinical Associate Professor of Human Capital Management at NYU, say they see three clear business imperatives that are leading companies to abandon
performance appraisals:

• The return of people development: Keeping good people is critical, and companies have been trying to eliminate “dissatisfiers” that drive employees away. Annual reviews are often on that list, since the process is “so widely reviled and the focus on numerical ratings interferes with the learning that people want and need to do.”
• The need for agility: Future needs are in flux, and organizations don’t necessarily want employees to keep doing the same things. “It doesn’t make sense to hang on to a system that’s built mainly to assess and hold people accountable for past or current practices.”
• The centrality of teamwork: Moving away from forced ranking and appraisals that focus on individual accountability makes it easier to foster collaboration. 

The authors argue for a system that more closely mirrors the natural cycle of
work. Ideally, conversations between managers and employees occur when
projects finish, milestones are reached, and challenges pop up.

How is your organization evaluating performance, and do you think its method
should be updated? To join the conversation, click on
​“Comments” above.

Once upon a time, when many of us worked in offices, a potential misunderstanding at work might be mitigated with a “pop in” visit. But there are certain things about digital communication that may not be so easily adjustable, and one of those things, experts say, is how we communicate with our bosses.
 
According to Mollie West Duffy, a co-author of No Hard Feelings, which looks at how emotions affect our work lives, “We know through research that we’re much more likely to read into a lack of emotion in digital communication as being negative, because we’re missing all the context cues,” she said. So if your boss says, “We need to chat tomorrow,” without elaboration, you might well assume there’s trouble on the horizon.
 
Though dodging that ominous chat might be tempting, it’s best to meet the moment straight on—though not a bad idea to try to carve out some space and time when you are unlikely to be interrupted by school-aged children or the family dog. And, whether the topic raised is negative or positive, remember that you have the obligation to consciously share what you want and need. According to Duffy, “directness is often the best way to get what you need from your manager, and being proactive and naming an issue rather than hoping it will go away on its own can help give you agency in improving a bad situation.” 
 
How has your relationship with your boss altered during the pandemic, and what have you done to improve it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning programs. 
 

The connective, collective power of joy is visible in sports. When a team performs at its best, overcoming competitors and its own internal challenges, every player — and every fan — is close to ecstatic. The “rush” sparks even greater joy, which can fuel further success. But when was the last time you felt such a swell of positive emotion at work?

A survey conducted by global management consulting firm A.T. Kearney points to a pronounced “joy gap” at work. Nearly 90 percent of respondents said that they had expected to experience a substantial degree of joy at work, yet only 37 percent report that such is their actual experience.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Alex Liu, A.T. Kearney’s managing partner and chairman, says, “Crafting [joyful] business cultures that more consistently engender such experiences can create a much stronger sense of personal interconnection, shared purpose, and heartfelt pride across the organization.” Kearney recommends specific steps leaders can take to increase joy at work:

• Set the agenda: Make meaningful efforts toward ensuring all employees feel heard, recognized, and acknowledged.
• Set the stage: Staff your new programs with true cross-unit, cross-silo teams, where joint teamwork delivers maximum impact, shared success, and fun.
• Set the tone: Encourage and celebrate individual and corporate social impact efforts. Authentically express more of the joy you personally experience in your role.

“Joy begets joy,” notes Kearney. “In my firm, I have emphasized the need to joyfully ‘dial
up’ the culture with a sustained emphasis on diversity, inclusion, apprenticeship, and
personal day-to-day leadership.”

When was the last time you experienced joy at work, and what led to it? Is this the sort
of experience you can help re-create?  To join the conversation, click on "Comments" above. 

Agreeing with someone is easier than confronting them, and it feels good to be “on the same page.” But conflict-free work environments are virtually non-existent. Disagreement is not only inevitable, but also a normal, healthy part of
relating to others.
Disagreements in the workplace have the potential to lead to better work
outcomes, opportunities to learn, higher job satisfaction, and even improved
relationships born of working through conflicts. Writing in the Harvard Business
Review, Amy Gallo, an HBR contributing editor and author of the HBR Guide to
Dealing with Conflict at Work, offers advice for those who are reluctant to
disagree:

• Let go of the need to be liked: Instead of focusing on likeability, focus on respect—both giving and receiving it.
• Focus on the big picture: Why is your point of view important to the needs of your organization? Thinking of this will purge selfish motives from your disagreement.
• Don't equate disagreeing with being unkind: Most people are open to hearing a different perspective if you share it thoughtfully and respectfully. Ask yourself: Is there really a risk that you will hurt your coworker’s feelings, or are you projecting your own discomfort?
• Find a role model and emulate them: Chances are you have a colleague, relative, or friend who does a fairly good job of being straightforward about their thoughts and opinions without ruffling feathers. Observe that person. Do what they do—even if you have to “fake it until you become it.”

Did you express your views the last time you disagreed with someone at
work—and what was the result? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Anyone who says they have the answer to every important question is either clueless or lying. So says John Hagel III, founder of Silicon Valley’s Center for the Edge and author of The Journey Beyond Fear. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Hagel says, “leaders should ask powerful and inspiring questions, convey that they don’t have the answers, and solicit others’ help to find them.”
 
“The kind of questions leaders need to ask,” he adds, “are those that invite people to come together to explore major new opportunities that your organization hasn’t identified yet.” For example: “What is a game-changing opportunity?” or “What are emerging, unmet needs of our customers?” or “How can we customize our services to the specific needs of each client?” Focusing on big opportunities is wise because:

• They are ambitious, and communicate that you want to take your organization to the next level.
  
  
• They invite collaboration—no single person could possibly come up with a complete solution.
  
  
• They can change the culture by inspiring others to identify opportunities and ask for help when they need it.
  
  
• They’ll reinforce the value of questions and of exploring.

 
“Leaders who ask powerful questions,” concludes Hagel, “have the greatest success in both seizing new opportunities and addressing unexpected challenges —and they build cultures that will carry these benefits into the future.”
 
What questions have you asked that have made a difference in your organization? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, consider giving your loved ones these gifts—each with more staying power than flowers, cards, or chocolates:  

1. ​Listen when your impulse is to argue. Listening, a rare and pure gift from the heart, requires us to be quiet long enough to ponder our partner’s message.
2. Edit accusations that could make your partner feel put down and judged. Instead, describe your feelings. “I feel lonely” has a different ring than, “You’re selfish and unresponsive.”
3. Acknowledge your role in a problem. Every issue has another side. When we describe how we contributed, even unintentionally, to a problem, we encourage our partner to hear us out. For example, you might say: “When I asked how long your mother was going to stay with us and we got into a tiff, I could have clarified that I enjoy your mother’s company and was asking out of curiosity and not judgment.”
4. Agree on a solution. Reach an explicit, collaborative agreement about what each of you will do differently in the future.
5. Follow up on your agreements. Many attempts at resolving conflict end in failure but following up proves your commitment to view conflict resolution as a process rather than a one-shot deal.

As marriage and business partners for over 40 years, we can attest that while confronting issues is never easy, avoidance is worse. And we still endorse chocolate too: It’s good for your heart!
We want to hear: What communication behaviors would you like to change in your relationships this year, and what steps are you taking to do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Video calls are not unlike meetings ‘in real life,’ in that a simple phrase might really turn someone off—or really light them up. If you’re looking for phrases likely to build instant rapport, try these—as recommended by career coach Michael Thompson:

• “Can you say that again? I want to write It down.” – Complimenting someone’s Zoom background is nice, but nothing can compare to letting them know you like the way they think. This phrase also lets the speaker know that the listener is open-minded and curious.”
• “Thanks for asking.” – Typically, when people get asked a question, they are quick to answer it. But if you can delay just a moment to allow gratitude to come out, you not only get to give an answer, but you also make the other person feel valued.
• “Sorry I interrupted you; I get excited. Please continue.” – Wi-Fi lag can lead to even more interruptions than usual. Saying this not only allows the other person to finish their thought, but also elicits a smile.
• “I’d love your input on something.” – A simple way to get people to open up is by sharing a struggle of your own and then asking them for their thoughts. Their suggestions may help you, and the other person sees you as someone who admits they don’t have life figured out.

Do you have a go-to phrase or two you use in video formats to foster better personal connections? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Dreading confrontation, many of us avoid or delay uncomfortable conversations even with co-workers who sit nearby. It’s even easier to
let issues languish when you only see your teammate on a screen.
​
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Liane Davey, a team effectiveness advisor and author of The Good Fight, offers guidance for managing potential conflict before it escalates:
 

• Instead of springing feedback on your colleague, call and ask if you can set up some time to discuss how things are going, and what could be improved. 
• When you have the conversation, try to use video in addition to audio so your facial expressions can help convey your positive intentions.
• Provide clear, judgment–free observations of your teammate’s behavior and describe the impact on you.
• As you’re talking, annotate your conversation with what you’re thinking and feeling in real time. For example, if you’re taken aback by feedback, say, “Wow, that’s a surprise to me — I had no idea!” If you’re struggling with the conversation, say, “This is difficult for me, but I’m glad we’re talking about all of this.”
• Don’t stop until you each have a clear vision for how a similar situation could play out better the next time.
• To ensure that your commitments don’t fade just because you won’t bump into each other in the hall, spend a few minutes at the end of your conversation developing an action plan, and consider scheduling a time to follow up.

 
How have you addressed conflicts with remote co-workers, and were your strategies successful? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

“The one easy way to become worth 50 percent more than you are now is to hone your communication skills. You can have all the brainpower in the world, but you have to be able to transmit it. And the transmission is communication.” 
 
Research backs this up with empirical evidence. A study from the Carnegie Institute of Technology found that 85 percent of a person's success comes from "human engineering"--the ability to effectively communicate, negotiate, and lead, both when speaking and listening. (Technical knowledge comprises the other 15 percent.)
 
Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication: Sign up for our BreakThrough Communication winter academy.