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Did Your Job Interview Thud?

12/16/2024

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If your job interview felt more like a dud than a win, don’t panic until you try these 4 moves…

Writing in Forbes, contributor Caroline Ceniza-Levine notes there are important criteria in deciding who moves on to callback interviews and the ultimate job offer. These include specific accomplishments that match the job description, your fit into the company culture, and your ideas about what you would bring to the role.  

Meanwhile, here’s what you can do while you wait:
  • Send a thank you note to the interviewer detailing your enthusiasm and fit for the job, and follow up with the recruiter. 
  • Continue to look for additional people within the company to advance your application or open doors to other opportunities.
  • Remember that multiple stakeholders typically contribute to the final hiring decision…not just the interviewer.
  • Prepare for future interviews by practicing eye contact (even virtually!) and rehearsing for frequently-asked interview questions like “Tell me about yourself.”

Did you ever feel pessimistic after an interview only to get the job after all? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 



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Never Say These Words!

12/9/2024

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Certain phrases make conflict worse. So why do we keep saying them?

Writing in The New York Times, Jancee Dunn has curated some of the top contenders for phrases that ignite conflict.

  • “You always…” and “You never…” These generalizations fail to acknowledge any effort the other person has made, and they are easily refuted.
  • “Yes, but…” This deflection invalidates everything that comes before the word ‘but’ and so any possible agreement is lost.
  • “You're overreacting…” No one gets to decide what is an appropriate emotional reaction for someone else, and so it adds fuel to the conflict.
  • “Calm down…” This can be interpreted as "You’re out of control" and usually has the opposite effect.
  • “It’s not that big of a deal…” It’s belittling to say a person’s concerns are not serious or important. 

Is there a phrase that triggers you? What wording would be better? To join the conversation, click on "comments" on below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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3 Ways To Tell Your Boss That You're Not Engaged

12/2/2024

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Many employees are not engaged at work, but their leaders are often unaware. So what should you do if you know your talents, expertise and interests are being under-utilized?

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, organizational psychologist Lewis Garrad and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Chief Innovation Officer at Manpower Group, offer 3 ways to communicate your dissatisfaction to your boss:

  • “I need your help to reach my full potential”: This highlights that your typical performance, good as it might be, is not your optimal performance. It suggests the best is yet to come. 
  • “Can you help me find a new challenge?”: This captures the importance of learning as a driver of engagement. It shows you do not want to do only what is easy.
  • “I’m not sure this role is a good fit”:  People do best in roles that align with their abilities and values.  This shows you are self-aware enough to want to maximize your contribution.

Have you ever been disengaged enough at work to request help from your boss? What was the result? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Your Brain on Gratitude: Happy Thanksgiving!

11/25/2024

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Gratitude has consistently been shown to lower stress, reduce pain, boost immunity, and improve blood pressure and heart function. Here’s how to spread gratitude not just on Thanksgiving…but always.​

We recently released a micro learning video series on how to express gratitude so it sticks, and these tools are easy to learn.  Neuroscientist Glen Fox has spent his entire adult life studying gratitude. “Grateful people tend to recover faster from trauma and injury, have better and closer personal relationships and may even just have improved health overall.” Fox did an experiment using brain-imaging scans to map which circuits in the brain become active when we feel grateful.

“We saw that the participants’ ratings of gratitude correlated with activity in a set of brain regions associated with interpersonal bonding and with relief from stress,” he said. To up your conscious gratitude, Fox suggests keeping a gratitude journal. On a regular basis, write down what you are grateful for, even if those things seem mundane. The positive effect is cumulative so it’s a good idea to make this a habit. You can also write letters of gratitude to those who have helped you along your way. Says Fox, “I think that gratitude can be much more like a muscle, like a trained response or a skill that we can develop over time.”

When was the last time you actively expressed gratitude, and how did you feel? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

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Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.
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Silence:  The Secret Weapon

11/18/2024

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To get what you want, try saying nothing, or in the words of our book title, Be Quiet, Be Heard…

“A well-deployed silence can radiate confidence and connection. The trouble is, so many of us are awful at it.” So writes Rachel Feintzeig in the Wall Street Journal, and we couldn't agree more. Most of us rush in to fill any void in a conversation, but remaining still can reap untold benefits.

Strategic silence can help in negotiations and selling. Instead of countering every point, try embracing a pause and soon you may find your counterpart jumping in with valuable information that will help you understand their needs and close.

Sometimes holding your tongue can feel like going against biology. Humans are social animals, says Robert N. Kraft, professor emeritus of cognitive psychology at Ohio’s Otterbein University. “Our method of connecting — and we crave it — is talking.” For years, Kraft assigned his students a day without words, and many students also found that when forced to stop talking, they bonded better with their peers.

Without pauses, we’re generally worse speakers, going off on tangents, stumbling over sounds, offering TMI (too much information), and maybe saying things we later regret. We can also put undue stress on ourselves, as talking to excess can raise our blood pressure, adrenaline and cortisol.  So, the next time you are unsure of what to say, try saying nothing at all.

Can you recall an instance when staying quiet helped you get what you wanted? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

​Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our 
online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 





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The Secret to Being Heard

11/11/2024

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From casual interactions to formal presentations, there is one, simple, 3-step hack to help you get through to people when it matters most.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Matt Abrahams, who teaches organizational behavior at Stanford Graduate School of Business, offers a simple hack to achieve this...

Structure your message to cover "What?", "So what?", and "Now what?"
  1. WHAT describes the specifics of the situation, position, or product.
  2. SO WHAT outlines the relevance and importance of the "what" to your audience.
  3. NOW WHAT tackles the next steps or "call to action."

This framework is applicable to a vast number of situations. As Abrahams says, it organizes your thoughts, serves as a guidepost to those you are trying to influence, and renders information easy to follow and act on. It is equally useful in presentations, answering questions, and providing feedback. This structure supports your message, so that it is heard, internalized, and acted upon. 

Does this structure look like something you can use? We’d love to hear your results! To join the conversation, click on  "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 



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Is Your “Out of Office Reply” Creating More Work?

11/4/2024

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If your out-of-office email reply suggests that you will get back to everyone…as soon as you return…it may be time to make a big change.

The number of emails sent daily has increased 34 percent since 2017. When you are on PTO, you might welcome relief from all these messages. But does your Out of Office reply make promises you shouldn’t have to keep—like, “I will get back to you as soon as I return”? Making good on this pledge might require superhuman powers, not to mention being a waste of your valuable post vacation time. 

Writing in the Wall Street Journal, reporter Elizabeth Bernstein found some great examples of a more creative approach:

  • Barry Ritholtz, chief investment officer of the New York wealth-management firm that bears his name, stated in his recent out-of-office message that he was in Maine and, “During this time, I will …not [be] checking emails, avoiding texts, ignoring Slack, letting calls go to voicemail, off the grid, and generally unreachable. As such, my auto-responder is, well, auto-responding.”
  • In his standard out-of-office message, Peter Harrison explains that he is “out on PTO” and won’t be checking email. Then he encourages the recipient to follow his lead. “By doing so, you will help foster a workplace that is people first, respects paid time off, promotes balance, and dismantles always-on culture,”
  • Andrew Riesen, 33, co-founder of a Seattle start up, was on paternity leave and his out-of-office message stated that he likely wouldn’t respond to emails during his six-to-eight-week paternity leave. “There’s nothing so important that it needs to take precedence over our new little one,” he wrote. He also said he wouldn’t be checking a pile of emails” immediately when he got back.

If these replies serve their purpose, your time off may actually be your time. And returning to work, won’t be an exhausting struggle. 

What does your Out of Office Reply say, and do you feel inclined to change it? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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5 Ways to Stop Workplace Bullying

10/28/2024

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Workplace bullying is real…and painful, too often leading to stress, burnout, and worse.  Here are 5 actions to stop it.
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Research from the Workplace Bullying Institute indicates that 30 percent of employees experience workplace bullying at some point, and of those targeted, 67% are at risk of losing their job. 

Bullying goes beyond incivility, writes Professor Jason Walker, a contributor to Forbes.  “It is calculated and deliberately aimed at causing harm.”  Its targets are often highly valued, competent employees who prefer to avoid conflict.  So, what can you do if you are a target?  
Walker advises the following actions.

5 Actions To Stop Workplace Bullying:
  1. Maintain emotional control:  Avoid reacting to provocation.  Step away, compose yourself, and consciously create your response.
  2. De-escalate conflicts: Use respectful language to request the bully stop their behavior.  If things escalate, engage your supervisor.
  3. Reach out to colleagues for support:  Confide in trusted co-workers.  They can help you to figure out how to respond to the bully and even serve as witnesses if necessary.
  4. Keep records:  Document all details of bullying incidents.  Include time, date, and who was around.
  5. Take care of yourself:  Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.  Engage in activities that help you reduce stress. 

Have you experienced workplace bullying and how did you cope? To join the conversation, click on "comments" on below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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When You’re the Subject of Gossip

10/21/2024

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At the heart of gossip is someone else’s pain.  Here are 4 actions to take if that someone is you… 

Once a rumor takes hold in the workplace, it is hard to stop.  Writing in Inc., Mary Wright, of California Employment Law Advice and Counsel, enumerates steps to take if you are the brunt of office gossip.

4 Actions To Take If You're The Subject of Gossip

  1. Get the facts:  Determine exactly what story is being told.
  2. Accept the truth:  If you genuinely made some sort of mistake or mishandled yourself, acknowledge what you did and commit to not repeating the mistake.
  3. Seek support from those with accurate information:  If the gossip is false, who besides you knows the truth? If it is a big deal and harmful to your reputation, see if they’re willing to support you publicly. If it is less important, ask your manager or colleague to deny the rumor when they hear it and counter with a positive comment.
  4. Confront the gossip: If you know who is spreading false words about you, go to the source.  Be direct.  Tell them you heard the rumor and were told that they are the source.  If their story is false, explain how.  If true but harmful, explain how you are addressing the problem with colleagues or managers.  

Contrary to popular belief, most people feel guilty (some less than others) about spreading false or harmful stories about colleagues.  Confrontation will usually get those people to stop talking – at least stop talking about you.

Have you ever been the subject of hurtful gossip, and how did you deal with it?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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The Young and the Friendless

10/14/2024

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Young Americans are more unhappy these days, and a big reason is their lack of close friendships…

According to a Pew Research poll, only 32 percent of Americans ages 30 and younger say they have five or more close friends.  According to psychologist Esther Perel, this factor is a prime cause behind the many emotional problems affecting today’s youth.

Young people reported feelings of malaise and even hopelessness.  They attributed these feelings to social media, climate change concerns, and social immobility.  But loneliness cannot be discounted. “I think people are more lonely because they are less adept at being in relationships as that involves conflict, friction and differences,” Perel says. “An enormous amount of people are cutting off friends and family members like never before.”
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The benefits of friendship are numerous.  We learn a great deal about ourselves through relating to and partnering with others.  Moreover, friendships are investments.  For older generations, exchanging favors over time contributed to the formation of a mutually beneficial, face-to-face social network.  Today’s young people do not appear to be making these small investments.

“Relationships demand obligation,” Perel says. “Communities demand obligation.  Communities are not just there to serve our needs.  Your community gives you belonging in return for your obligation to the wellbeing of others.”

One key to maintaining friendships is having realistic expectations.  Being a positive presence 100 percent of the time is not a realistic expectation to have of others or a prerequisite for you to engage with them.  In fact, it can keep you from forming valuable connections.

Would you say you have five or more close friends, and how does having friends affect your happiness and well being?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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How to Stop Unsolicited Advice

10/7/2024

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What’s the best way to respond when a co-worker makes a suggestion you didn’t ask for and don’t want?  Try these 4 specific replies. 

Everybody has an opinion.  But what if you don’t want to hear it?  Maybe you are in the middle of a meeting or a presentation detailing a carefully crafted plan when a co-worker derails you.  Maybe you want a specific piece of information from your boss, but they take the opportunity to turn a simple query into an impromptu coaching session. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of Trust Yourself:  Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work, offers  strategies for setting boundaries around unsolicited input with tact, respect, and a comfortable level of assertiveness.

  • Frame your ideas as decisions, not discussions:  Instead of saying, “I’m thinking of doing X,” try saying, “I’ve decided to do X, and the benefits will include Y and Z.”  There will be less likelihood that you will get pushback, and a better chance you will get assistance.
  • Show that there’s already support:  Demonstrate that your idea already has backing — perhaps from higher-ups, vendors, partners, or customers.  This is called leveraging the power of social proof, and it gives you validity.  
  • Combine a compliment and a boundary:  To politely regain control of a conversation, signal that while you value someone’s input, you’re not currently looking for additional ideas.  When time is limited, try phrases like, “Thanks for engaging.  We’re on a deadline, and we’ll keep your ideas in mind for the future.”  
  • Directly ask for what you need:  Be clear about what types of input you are open to.  For example, “I’d deeply value your input on how to reach more applicants.”

When was the last time you received unsolicited advice at work and how did you respond?  To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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How Well Do You Brag?

9/23/2024

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Nobody likes a blowhard, but the fear of being an obnoxious bragger may be holding you back...

Talking yourself up has the potential to make your team look impressive, shed light on what it is you do, and maybe even propel you toward a promotion.  But many of us are afraid to blow our own horn.  Even if someone complements us, we often deflect it, with self-deprecating humor or false humility.

Meredith Fineman, publicist and author of Brag Better, was astounded by how many talented professionals were reluctant to acknowledge their most impressive accomplishments. 

Writing in the Wall Street Journal, Rachel Feintzeig offers some tips for overcoming the fear of self-praise:

  • Don't Fear the “I” Word:  We think saying “I”…even once in a while, doesn't make us a good team player.  But sometimes the hero of your story really is you.  Did you bring in that client?  Did you close that deal?  It's alright to say so.
  • Own Your Own Story:  How did you do what you did?  If you don't tell your story, someone else is likely to make up a different version.  You can share the glory, and still talk about your positive impact on the organization, and what you are excited to tackle next.
  • Drop the humblebrag:  Faux humility rarely fools anyone.  Research from Harvard Business School found that humblebraggers were seen as less competent and less likable than those who just straight-up boasted.  Research co-author Professor Michael Norton said they were also perceived as “dishonest and insincere.”

When was the last time you bragged a little, and how did it feel?  To join the conversation, click on  "comments" comments below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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How to Make Conversations Click

9/16/2024

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Research suggests that asking questions that show you're listening is a great way to make conversations click.  Since not all questions are equal, here are 3 tips.
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Conversations help us forge and deepen connections.  And they are essential to our well being.  Sometimes, though, we avoid conversations because we fear they may become tedious, awkward, or even confrontational.  

Writing in the Journal of the American Psychological Association, Zara Abrams notes that one of the best ways to make conversations click is to ask questions.  But be conscious of how you do this:

  • Avoid answering your own questions: Some people believe that asking a question makes their conversation partner feel included. But not waiting for a reply can actually alienate your listener. 
  • Ask follow up questions:  Follow-up questions prove you were paying attention and show your conversation partner that you want to know more.  Speed daters who ask more follow-up questions are more likely to get a second date!  
  • A good conversation has a good rhythm: A conversation can be like a dance.  It might speed up or slow down, and there may be pauses—like in a tango.  Effective listening tends to lead to moments of quiet, and that’s linked to higher satisfaction among participants.  When someone responds too quickly to something very thoughtful or personal, or not quickly enough when you were expecting a spirited back-and-forth, they aren’t "dancing" with you in an enjoyable way.

Do you have a go-to conversational style that works for you?  And what do you do to show you're listening?  To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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You Don’t Owe Every Question an Answer

9/9/2024

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Being asked a question does not mean you are required to answer. Here are 4 options to get you off the hook when a question feels invasive.

At some point, we have all been plagued with intrusive questions:   Why are you still working?  Why don't you have more kids?  How come you’re still single?  It’s one thing to be curious about someone because you want to understand them but another to pose agenda-laden questions because you want to change them.  Scott Shigeoka, a fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and author of Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World, calls this “predatory curiosity.” 
 
Writing in The New York Times, Jancee Dunn spoke with him and other experts about how to deflect nosy questions:
  • You are not obliged to answer:  We believe it is a social norm to answer a question if someone asks. But if a question makes you uncomfortable, remember that you do not owe anyone a response.
  • Keep this phrase in your back pocket: Say simply, “I’d rather not talk about it.” This sets a clear limit and feels less confrontational than “That’s personal.” Then, instead of ending the conversation, just change the subject.
  • Answer on your own terms – if you answer: If you decide to answer an invasive question, be brief. You can always add, “Let's talk about that anther time.”
  • The questions may persist, but you can control your reaction: If the question is from someone who genuinely cares about you, be graceful and consider employing humor. 

What is your least favorite invasive question and how do you respond to it?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" below.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning Courses of 2022.

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The Real Secret of Success

9/2/2024

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Have you noticed how many successful people just keep racking up more wins? Here’s the secret to that kind of serial success… 

When researchers wanted to test the accuracy of the old adage “success breeds success”, they designed a study that randomly assigned “rewards” to certain subjects. In all scenarios, receiving a modest reward early on “triggered a self-propelling cascade of success” for those participants. The study's author reasoned that when people receive early success, it raises their expectations for future success.

Here’s how that works:

  • Self-belief:  After experiencing initial success (even something as mild as winning a game), people positively reevaluate their own abilities. This subjective self-confidence can play a crucial role in future performance, and contribute to putting identical people on different paths in terms of long-term success.
  • Status: As a person’s success builds, so does their network and reputation, which easily opens more doors to success. And the work of high-status people can receive greater recognition than work of similar quality by lesser-known people.
  • Optimism:  Everyone fails at some point, but failure is not what inhibits success. A person’s outlook after that failure is what matters. Expectations, optimism, and positive beliefs are powerful drivers of success.

Have you, or someone you know, experienced early success, and how did that impact reputations and fortunes going forward? To join the conversation, click "comments" below.

​Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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