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Stop Delegating, Start Teaching

11/29/2022

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A significant part of a manager’s role is staff development. But if you delegate a task to someone with no prior training simply because you are too busy to handle it, their chances of succeeding are marginal. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Art Markman, PhD, professor of Psychology and Marketing at the University of Texas, says managers should stop thinking of handing off responsibilities as delegating (thereby potentially setting the stage for failure) and start taking on the mindset of a trainer instead.

Markman suggests managers actively look for ways to begin upping the responsibilities of your team members:
  • Start by assessing who on your team genuinely wants to move up in the organization, and identify their primary areas of interest. 
  • Create a development plan for them, enumerating the skills they will need to reach their goals. 
  • Give them assignments that require the application of those skills. 
  • Help them work their way up to a challenging task by starting with a series of practice sessions. 
  • The first time you introduce a task to someone, let them shadow you while you explain key points. Then, give them a piece to do on their own with your supervision. Only let them carry the full load when you sense that they are ready. 

Taking on some direct reports as apprentices takes effort and extra time, notes Markman, and you will also have to review their work carefully at first. But by adopting this approach, you are helping your associates reach their career goals, and creating a team of trusted colleagues who can step in when you are overwhelmed or unavailable.

When was the last time you delegated a task, and did you provide any training to your associate? And what experience have you had when people asked you for help? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.   


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Your Brain on Gratitude

11/22/2022

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Neuroscientist Glen Fox has spent his entire adult life studying gratitude. He is convinced that  “grateful people tend to recover faster from trauma and injury, tend to have better and closer personal relationships and may even have improved health overall.”

The study of gratitude is a relatively recent phenomenon, and emerged from the field of positive psychology. Yet the practice of gratitude has consistently been shown to lower stress, reduce pain, boost immunity, and improve blood pressure and heart function. 

To find out, Fox did an experiment using brain-imaging scans to map which circuits in the brain become active when we feel grateful. “We saw that the participants’ ratings of gratitude correlated with activity in a set of brain regions associated with interpersonal bonding and with relief from stress,” he said.
To up your conscious gratitude, Fox suggests keeping a gratitude journal. On a regular basis, write down what you are grateful for, even if those things seem mundane. The positive effect is cumulative so it’s a good idea to make this a habit. He also suggests writing letters of gratitude to those who have helped you along your way. 

Says Fox, “I think that gratitude can be much more like a muscle, like a trained response or a skill that we can develop over time as we’ve learned to recognize abundance and gifts and things that we didn’t previously notice as being important,” he said. “And that itself is its own skill that can be practiced and manifested over time.”

When was the last time you actively expressed gratitude, and how did it make you feel? And what experience have you had when people shared gratitude with you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual courses, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.


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Texting Your Friends Means More Than You Think

11/15/2022

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Connecting with a friend just to say “hello” might seem like an insignificant gesture — a chore, even, that isn’t worth the effort. Or maybe you worry an unexpected check-in wouldn’t be welcome, as busy as we all tend to be. But new research suggests that casually reaching out to people in our social circles means more than we realize.

Peggy Liu, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and associate professor of business administration with the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Business, studied this phenomenon and found people tend to underestimate how much friends like hearing from them.

She and her team ran a series of 13 experiments, with more than 5,900 participants, to see how good people are at guessing how much friends value unexpected contact. In some of the experiments, participants reached out to a friend; in others, they got in touch with someone they were just casually friendly with (a “weak tie”).  Those reaching out were asked to rate how pleased and grateful they anticipated the contact would be to hear from them. The researchers then asked those on the receiving end of the check-in to rate how much they appreciated the contact. Across 13 experiments, those who initiated contact, significantly underestimated how much it would be appreciated. 

Theirs is not the only recent research to emphasize the power of small moments of connection. Another study, published in The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, found that even small positive social interactions is linked with a sense of purposefulness in older adults.

We have all heard there is a pandemic of loneliness. So social psychologists hope these findings will underscore the need to connect with others on a regular basis, and encourage people to see friendship as an important component of personal health, even if reaching out sometimes feels awkward or time-consuming.

When was the last time you texted a friend just to check in and say hello? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We'd love to hear about your experiences.


​Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual courses, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.
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Arguing Well

11/8/2022

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These days there is plenty to argue about:  Politics, health, money, even the climate.  Some say we’re arguing too much; some say we’re not arguing enough. But the real problem is we are not arguing well.

​Bo Seo, a 28-year-old two-time world debating champion, says the problem of polarization stems from most arguments being “painful and useless… We spend more time vilifying, undermining and nullifying those who oppose us than we do trying to open or change their minds.” In his recent book, Good Arguments:  How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard, he argues that if more people took their cues from the world of competitive debate, it would be easier to get people to reconsider their views or at least consider those of others.

Writing in The New York Times, columnist Pamela Paul outlines some of Seo’s key principles:
  • Know when to engage:  Arguments are easy to start and hard to end. So not every disagreement needs to be argued.
  • Stick to the specific dispute at hand:  Otherwise the quarrel can spiral out of control, moving into ever-expanding topics.
  • Proving someone wrong doesn’t mean you’re right:  Simply tearing down your opponent doesn’t prove your point. 
  • Never let a bully dictate the terms of debate: If faced with a brawler —whose aim is, “not to persuade but to silence, marginalize and break the will of their opponents” — try to restore order. In other words, see above…or disengage from the interaction.

Do you think you could have done a better job during a recent argument?  What might you have changed? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We really want to hear about your experiences.
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Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual courses, awarded International Gold for
Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.



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How to Speak Up in a Meeting (and When to Hold Back)

11/1/2022

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In many organizations, our leadership readiness is measured in part by what we say in meetings.  So says Allison Shapiro, who teaches “The Arts of Communication” at the Harvard Kennedy School.  Writing in the Harvard Business Review, she adds, “How we speak off the cuff can have a bigger impact on our career trajectory than our presentations or speeches, because every single day we have an opportunity to make an impact.”

Shapiro offers strategies for speaking up effectively:

  • Prepare some bullet points in advance: Don’t wait for inspiration to hit in a meeting. Come prepared. (We recommend using our PRES model, focusing on a brief point, reason, example, and summary). 
  • Ask “Why you?”: Why do you care about this agenda topic, your organization, and your role? Answering this question helps you connect your input with a sense of purpose.
  • Pause and breathe:  This will help center you and strengthen your voice so that you can speak with courage and clarity.

And she also offers advice for when to hold back: 

  • If you're trying to show off:  If you are speaking up just to show how much you know, without adding any new ideas of merit, restrain yourself and let the meeting run its course.
  • If your comment would be better in a one-on-one conversation: So many sensitive conversations within an organization can be advanced by speaking privately to someone — in person if possible — rather than addressing the issue in a group where the person might feel embarrassed and defensive.
  • If you are trying to empower others on your team: Don't become a crutch for others. Let members of your team speak up in order to build their own relationships of trust.

What are your criteria for when you should and should not speak up in a meeting? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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Six Habits of Great Leaders

10/22/2022

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Being a successful leader is tricky business. “You can't have results at the expense of people. And serving your people well without getting results sets you up for failure,” notes Marcel Schwantes, contributing editor for Inc Magazine, and founder of Leadership from the Core. In a recent article, Schwantes describes six strategies that help leaders strike the right balance and actually make people want to work for them. 
  1. Give feedback. Feedback, a core principle of great leadership, can address performance issues, celebrate outstanding performers, clarify direction, and set expectations. When giving feedback, keep it simple, be specific, and use examples. If there's a performance issue, focus on the issue, not the person.
  2. Discuss your priorities as well as theirs. Let your employees know what you expect from them, but also share what you are working on so their efforts can be in alignment. “This strengthens bonds, helps boost engagement, and gets you more focused results.”
  3. Hold “stay” interviews.  Unlike an exit interview, you'll get fresh insight about what you can do to improve and retain valued employees -- today, not after they have emotionally disconnected. 
  4. Recognize your people. Employees who work for companies with formal recognition programs report a more satisfying experience.
  5. Let your people make decisions.  Give employees the freedom to decide, participate in, and determine how work is best accomplished. Employees thrive in entrepreneurial settings, which make them more invested in the company. 
  6. Expand their knowledge. Stretch employees with assignments that sharpen their skills. Give top employees the opportunity to learn something new.

How many of these habits do you notice in your organization, and how many have you personally mastered? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.


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You Shared, or Maybe Overshared…Now What?

10/18/2022

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Being vulnerable can build trust and closeness, but self-disclosure can also make us fear judgment or rejection. If you’re nervous after having divulged something personal, you might be experiencing what Brené Brown, research professor at the University of Houston, calls a “vulnerability hangover.” You might wonder:  “Did I display a weakness?” or “Am I safe?”
As Holly Burns writes in The New York Times, “A vulnerability hangover might be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be debilitating — and it can even be helpful.” If you are “hung over” here’s what to consider:
  • Put it into perspective:  Other people probably aren’t thinking about your disclosure as much as you are (just the way they are not as aware of that pimple on your nose). Besides, we generally view our own displays of vulnerability more negatively than those of others.
  • Know you might have helped someone:  Studies show that vulnerability can build trust. People may be more comfortable around you and experience you as  “more human.” 
  • Reframe it as a learning experience:  One way to remove judgment you feel toward yourself is to turn it into something constructive. Reframe it as, ‘What can I learn from this?’ Even if what you learn is ‘Wow, that was not the right thing to say to that person in that moment,’ it can help you in the future.
  • Make a plan for next time: Despite the potential benefits of revealing something personal, there are still times you may want to keep your cards closer. It never hurts to examine your motivations and be intentional about when and with whom to be vulnerable.
The aftermath of vulnerability might be surprising or even unpleasant, but it’s frequently worth it, says Emma Seppala, science director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University. Being comfortable with vulnerability’s aftereffects “requires courage initially, but then it’s like this muscle you build.”
When is the last time you shared something quite personal, and how did you feel after? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear about your experiences!

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for
Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.



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Ask for Help: People are Likely to Give it

10/11/2022

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Asking for help can be daunting: We don't want to impose, and we don't want to be rejected.  But new research reported in The New York Times suggests “many of us underestimate how willing — even happy! — others are to lend a helping hand.”

The study, published in the journal Psychological Science this month, included six small experiments involving more than 2,000 participants — all designed to compare the perspectives of those asking for help with the perspectives of helpers. The bottom line:  Across all of the experiments, those asking for help consistently underestimated how willing friends and strangers were to assist, as well as how good the helpers felt afterward. The researchers believe those incorrect calibrations might stand in the way of people’s asking for help in ways big and small. 

What is the most effective way to ask for help? Researchers are looking at that dynamic as well. Dr. Wayne Baker, a professor with the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business and author of All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success, encourages people to be deliberate about making a thoughtful request.  Dr. Baker promotes what he calls the “SMART” system for asking for help. Although it was initially designed for workplace settings, he believes it is applicable across contexts. As much as possible, requests should be:
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  • Specific
  • Meaningful (all parties know why you are asking)
  • Action oriented
  • Realistic
  • Time-bound

Afterward be sure to communicate your heartfelt gratitude!

When was the last time you asked for help, and how did you do it? Was help given? And what experience have you had when people asked you for help? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would like to hear about your experiences.

Create lifetime communication mastery online, with our virtual programs, awarded International Gold for
Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Why Criticism Lasts Longer Than Praise

10/4/2022

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It's inevitable that at some point we will all be the targets of insults, admonishments, or negative feedback. We may be advised to “shake it off” but that’s not so easy. We tend to remember criticism more than we recall praise — due to a phenomenon called the “negativity bias.”  This universal tendency for negative emotions to affect us more strongly than positive ones is evolutionary, in that it causes us to pay special attention to anything that might be a threat or put us in danger.

According to Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist at the University of Queensland and co-author of The Power of Bad: And How to Overcome It, "Our ancestors who had that [negative] bias were more likely to survive.”  However this tendency does not serve us very well on a daily basis.  Baumeister believes that until we learn how to override the disproportionate impact of the negative, it distorts our view of the world.

Of course, the impact of being criticized varies from person to person. But receiving and internalizing negative comments can increase stress, anxiety, frustration and worry, says Lucia Macchia, a behavioral scientist and visiting fellow at the London School of Economics. "Dealing with these negative emotions has a great impact on our body as they can even create and exacerbate physical pain," she adds. 

The good news: Scores of studies have shown that people tend to look on the bright side as they become older. Scientists refer to this effect as the "positivity bias" and they think we start to remember positive details more than negative information from middle age. Baumeister believes this is because we need to learn from failures and criticism in our younger years, but that need diminishes as we age.

To reduce our negativity bias sooner, it helps to remember that our genetic programming could be at the root of our ruminating about criticism. Simply recognizing this negativity effect can help us override undesirable responses — and it can also be useful to remember that some criticism says more about the giver than the receiver. 

Have you ever given more credence to a criticism than it probably warranted? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would really like to hear about your experiences.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our 
online learning programs. 


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Awful Meetings

9/27/2022

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Leaders consistently rate their own meetings much more positively than attendees do. When managers assume their meetings are going smoothly, they are less likely to solicit feedback and seek opportunities to improve. As a result, frustrations that attendees experience don’t get fixed (irrelevant agenda items, unnecessarily long duration, lack of focus), leaving employees disgruntled and disengaged.
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Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Steven G. Rogelberg, Chancellor’s Professor at the University of North Carolina Charlotte and author of The Surprising Science of Meetings, helps managers improve their meeting skills. Among his tips: 
  • Assessment:  Take a few minutes after each meeting you run to reflect on attendee behavior, conversational dynamics, and content that was covered. Were people distracted? Conducting side conversations? Did you do most of the talking? Consider inviting attendees to offer advice so you can identify your meeting strengths and weaknesses and create a plan for improvement.
  • Preparation:  When it comes to meetings, especially regularly scheduled ones, people tend to show up and wing it.  Before a meeting, force yourself to make deliberate choices:  What will be covered; who should attend; what is the best time and place? Doing the same thing every time can cause attendees to “glaze over.” 
  • Facilitation:  People often view meetings as interruptions of their “real work.” To mitigate such an attitude, greet people at the door and express gratitude for their time. Begin with a purposeful opening statement explaining why you have gathered. As the conversation gets under way, adopt a stewardship mindset, asking questions, engaging others, modeling active listening, drawing out concerns, and managing conflicts.
  • Reassessment:  Even when managers proactively diagnose their meeting problems and learn to better prepare for and facilitate the gatherings they lead, there will undoubtedly be room for continuous improvement. And so the process begins again. 

What have you done to improve the caliber of team meetings? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 

If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, visit our online learning programs.  




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Reward Effort, Not Outcome

9/20/2022

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In a commencement address at Stanford, Google CEO Sundar Pichai spoke four words that encapsulate years of research on the psychology of human motivation: "Reward effort, not outcome.” 

Pichai is tapping into the power of creating sources of intrinsic motivation: People are moved to do something because they enjoy it, love the challenge, or find it intriguing…not to gain a reward or avoid punishment. This strategy he says, works well not just with your employees but also with your kids. Although it might seem counterintuitive, science backs up this approach. Here’s why:
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  • Your employees (and kids) will procrastinate less: Being driven by results that please others (extrinsic motivation) can reduce long-term productivity. When we become singularly focused on a goal and the steps required to reach it, we can fall into the trap of socially prescribed perfectionism (SPP). Research shows SPP is linked to anxiety and depression—and to avoid those feelings, we may procrastinate.
  • They will think outside the box: When effort is rewarded we are more likely to take risks. Risk-taking is how innovation occurs. Additionally, research suggests that intrinsic motivation spurs creativity.​
  • They will stay motivated: Focusing on what really motivates us about what we do--how emotionally invested we are in it, how interested we are in it, how it contributes to our sense of self—is an endless well, and is therefore a very sustainable type of motivation.

When was the last time someone celebrated your effort regardless of outcome, and how did you respond? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to about your experience!

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Onboarding From Afar

9/6/2022

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As any manager who has tried it can tell you, onboarding new employees remotely is a challenge. And a bad onboarding experience can have long-lasting negative fallout. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, James M. Citrin and Darleen DeRosa, co-authors of Leading From a Distance:  Practical Lessons for Virtual Success, offer recommendations for companies large and small who want to make onboarding strategies succeed. 
  1. Get off to a fast start: Create a plan to mitigate first-day nerves and allow new employees to feel welcome and gain confidence. Appoint a dedicated onboarding liaison, and try to set up their technology ahead of time to minimize breakdowns. 
  2. Establish Strong Relationships Across the Organization:  Virtual settings make spontaneous relationship-building less likely. Be proactive about setting up a mix of formal and informal one-on-one interactions between the new hire and colleagues.  Some companies set up a “shadow week” in which the new hire attends a wide variety of team and stakeholder group meetings.
  3. Explain the company culture and how work gets done: Make unspoken assumptions explicit. Spend more time than you generally would in a face-to-face environment talking about what is typical and atypical across various cultural dimensions. Create the space for your new colleagues to ask about the way things are done.
  4. Set clear expectations and connect the individual’s role to company mission and vision:  A new hire should have a clear picture of what success looks like for the first 100 days and beyond.  Then they can prioritize and accomplish some quick wins that create a strong foundation and build momentum for future success
Did you onboard remotely, and what was your greatest challenge? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear about your experiences!


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Getting Ghosted…at Work

8/30/2022

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You don't need to be on a dating app to be ghosted, a sudden and unexplained ending of all communication. Increasingly, people report being ghosted by potential employers during job searches (sometimes even after they’ve gotten a verbal offer), by clients they were pitching, and by people with whom they were networking.

Why do people ghost? It's often to avoid an awkward situation or anything that might lead to conflict. But it could simply be because there is no news to share, or because they are maxed out by their own work.

Why not just let it go? It turns out we’re not biologically wired for that. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Kristi DePaul, founder of Nuanced, a thought leadership firm for executives, says, “Ghosting is an action that tugs at our psyches. When something is unresolved, our brains tend to linger on it (a phenomenon called the Zeigarnik effect). This underlying cognitive tension encourages us to continue seeking a satisfactory resolution.”

So, what to do? DePaul suggests being patient for a few days (they might genuinely be preoccupied). Then, if silence persists, consider that the person doing the ghosting might now feel there is no way to bring the conversation back online gracefully. You can offer them a way to save face by sending “a brief, lighthearted message [that leaves] the door open for them to reconnect, or to simply let you know what’s going on.” 
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Have you ever been ghosted at work, and what happened if you attempted to follow up? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 


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Keep Rudeness from Spreading at Work

8/23/2022

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As the pandemic lingers and economic insecurity looms, stress and uncertainly are pervasive in the workforce. Since uncertain environments make people more likely to engage in uncivil, and disrespectful communication—rudeness is on the rise, and so are its repercussions

According to Shannon G. Taylor and Lauren R. Locklear, writing in the Sloan Management Review, “Employees who experience incivility at work perform worse in their jobs, are less helpful to colleagues, and are more likely to steal from their employer. Rudeness also hurts employee retention and the bottom line. According to one estimate, handling a single incident of rudeness can cost an organization more than $25,000.” So what should managers be doing to keep rudeness from begetting more rudeness in a vicious cycle?

  • Develop strong, shared expectations for appropriate behavior. Provide a strong example with your own behavior, encouraging employees to take cues from you. Be sure to define not only what positive behavior looks like, but also which negative behaviors are unacceptable. Company policies against incivility are most effective when managers clearly define what bad behavior entails. 
  • Provide targeted training. To reduce uncivil behavior and its impact on employee turnover, offer training for teams struggling with a communication deficiency you’ve identified: A lack of active listening, or difficulty giving and receiving feedback. Improving these communication practices helps employees better understand their colleagues, so they can recognize and respond to one another’s needs. 
  • Encourage gratitude and appreciation. Regularly encourage employees to thank and acknowledge each other. Make this real by showing them how to build expressions of gratitude into your team’s day-to-day work. For example, start meetings by asking each person to share something they appreciate about a colleague.
Have you experienced rudeness at work, and is your organization doing enough to mitigate it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. 


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Leadership Lessons From Navy SEALS

8/16/2022

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Brent Gleeson, a Forbes contributor, first learned about effective leadership in chaotic environments as a Navy SEAL. “Many, if not all, of those basic principles apply in business and life in general,” he says. Among the most widely applicable lessons he cites: 

They know the difference between “activity” and “results”: SEAL teams say, “find work.” If you find yourself at the end of your To Do list, that’s not when your contribution to the team ends. Make a new list of priorities and execute -- not busy work, but activities that align with team goals.
  • They focus on small, continuous improvements: “If you have ten priorities, you have no priorities.”
  • They make decisions that align with their values: They have taken the time to identify their values and can lead with authenticity because they consistently rely on them.
  • They focus on what is in their immediate control: Stay in your three-foot world, say the SEALS. Maintain situational awareness and focus on what you can influence and execute with the most impact.
  • They surround themselves with people who make them better: Successful people keep company with mentors and other successful people. They eschew the company of negative people, who hamper their ability to thrive.
  • They inspire others to be successful:  Effective leadership isn’t about cultivating a flock of followers who blindly follow the will of the leader. It’s about developing more autonomous leaders at every level of the organization.
As a leader, which of these principles do you follow, and which might you try to develop going forward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to get your feedback!


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