Brent Gleeson, a Forbes contributor, first learned about effective leadership in chaotic environments as a Navy SEAL. “Many, if not all, of those basic principles apply in business and life in general,” he says. Among the most widely applicable lessons he cites: 

They know the difference between “activity” and “results”: SEAL teams say, “find work.” If you find yourself at the end of your To Do list, that’s not when your contribution to the team ends. Make a new list of priorities and execute -- not busy work, but activities that align with team goals.

• They focus on small, continuous improvements: “If you have ten priorities, you have no priorities.”
• They make decisions that align with their values: They have taken the time to identify their values and can lead with authenticity because they consistently rely on them.
• They focus on what is in their immediate control: Stay in your three-foot world, say the SEALS. Maintain situational awareness and focus on what you can influence and execute with the most impact.
• They surround themselves with people who make them better: Successful people keep company with mentors and other successful people. They eschew the company of negative people, who hamper their ability to thrive.
• They inspire others to be successful:  Effective leadership isn’t about cultivating a flock of followers who blindly follow the will of the leader. It’s about developing more autonomous leaders at every level of the organization.

As a leader, which of these principles do you follow, and which might you try to develop going forward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to get your feedback!

  Listening to your employees and incorporating their feedback is important to you and to the culture of your organization. But sending out an employee survey once a year is not sufficient, says Carrie McKeegan, CEO and Cofounder of Greenback Expat Tax Services -- especially among remote teams who find it harder to build relationships. Collecting feedback on an ongoing basis will allow you to address roadblocks head-on, encourage creativity and collaboration, and drive innovation. Here are things you can do:
​

• Ask “how are you?”  Don’t let remote work make you eliminate pleasantries like, “How was your weekend?” Alternatively, do a temperature check by asking "What's the most important thing you're workingon this week?" or "How are you feeling about reaching your goals?"
• Open Up:  A culture of candor has to start from the top. That means being vulnerable enough to share your human side. By setting an example, you show it's okay for your team to share their struggles and challenges with you in return.
• Do Quarterly Check-ins:  The relationship between supervisor and employee plays a critical role in retention. Quarterly check-ins expose hidden issues and give team members a safe space to express needs, concerns, and ideas.  
• Listen, Don’t Defend: Faced with constructive criticism, just listen. Focus on clarifying questions that help you understand the employees’ perspective.
• Act on Feedback:  Actions speak louder than words. You don’t need to incorporate every piece of advice, but do recognize each contribution and share with your team how you intend to use their input. This type of transparency strengthens trust and encourages future feedback. 
  
  

Is your remote team giving you frequent and honest feedback, and if not, what can you do to improve matters? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We'd love to hear your feedack. 

Are you a good listener? When we pose this question to people in our learning events, most rate themselves as “above average” (a mathematical impossibility). When we ask what good listening consists of, the most common themes are:  not interrupting, letting others know you are listening by using nonverbal encouragers  (“uh-huh”, “mmm-hmm”) and paraphrasing, by repeating back what the other person has said. 
 
However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing great listening skills.

Their four main findings:

1. Good listeners are not always silent when others talk.  They periodically ask questions that prompt discovery and insight. Good listening is more of a two-way dialogue than speaker vs. listener.
   
   
2. Good listening includes interactions that build the speaker’s self-esteem. “Good listening was characterized by the creation of a safe environment in which issues and differences could be discussed openly. Good listeners made the other person feel supported and conveyed confidence in them.”
   
   
3. Good listening is a cooperative conversation. Good listeners may challenge assumptions and disagree, “but the person being listened to feels the listener is trying to help, not wanting to win an argument.”
   
   
4. Good listeners can make suggestions.  Good listening invariably included some feedback provided in a way others would accept and that opened up alternative paths to consider.

 
Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively.
 
As a listener have you engaged in any of these practices? What else has worked for you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear your feedback.

A manager’s job and communication style must change as their team expands. Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Julia Zhuo, vice president of design at Facebook and author of The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks To You, explores some of the necessary adaptations. 

• Indirect Management Expands Your Reach:  As your team grows, you cannot manage everyone directly, at least not to the same degree. That means developing managers who report to you, and accepting that some decisions will be made without you. At first it may feel like you are losing control—but you are actually empowering your people, and expanding your leadership reach.
• People Treat You Differently:  When people don’t know you well and see you’re in a position of authority, they’re less likely to tell you the truth or to challenge you when they think you’re wrong, even if you’d like them to. Be aware of this dynamic and take countermeasures. Emphasize that you welcome dissenting opinions and reward those who express them.
• People-Centric Skills Matter Most:  As teams grow, managers spend less time on the specific craft of their discipline, and more time coaching others. “At higher levels of management… success becomes more about mastering a few key skills: hiring exceptional leaders, building self-reliant teams, establishing a clear vision, and communicating well.”

How has your communication style adapted as your team and your responsibilities have grown? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would really like to get your feedback.

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that people would come from far and wide to hear Abe Lincoln speak, even when he was simply a prairie lawyer. From his “stage” atop a tree stump, Lincoln “could simultaneously educate, entertain, and move his audiences,” she writes.  Although times have changed, human nature has not, and Lincoln’s speaking techniques are as compelling as ever.
 
Writing In The Harvard Business Review, Harvard instructor and communication author Carmine Gallo credits Lincoln’s gift for storytelling as key to his ability to captivate audiences. She goes on to enumerate some key differences between mere “presenters” and compelling storytellers.

• Presenters open PowerPoint; storytellers craft a narrative:  A bulleted list is not a story. The latter is a connected series of events, with a theme, attention-grabbing moments, heroes, and a satisfying conclusion. “Nicely designed slides cannot compensate for a poorly structured story.”
• Presenters dump data; storytellers humanize it:  Data is abstract until it’s put into context that people can understand. And people can understand people. The next time you have large datasets to present, add a face to the statistics.
• Presenters are predictable; storytellers surprise. Most PowerPoints are predictable, hence boring. Stories have twists, turns, and elements of surprise. The human brain loves novelty and perks up when we detect something that breaks a pattern.
• Presenters use text; storytellers love pictures:  If you want to engage an audience, build a presentation that favors pictures to complement the story you tell. Researchers have found that an audience will recall about 10% of the content if they simply hear information. But due to the “picture superiority effect,” if they hear information and see a picture, they’ll retain 65%.

 
What might you do to add elements of great storytelling to your next presentation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear from you.

Today’s world is primed for instant gratification. We often feel pressure to reply immediately to emails and texts, and even in conversation. We fear “dead air” and so hasten to say no something…anything...even when responding to a complex question.
 
However, numerous business leaders—notably Apple’s Tim Cook and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos—are known for taking a pause in conversation in order to carefully consider what they will say next. Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied, writing in Inc., notes that while those on the receiving end of 10, 20, even 30 seconds of silence may feel uncomfortable at first, their reward is a thoughtfully considered answer…the result of critical thinking that would be impossible without taking time.
 
According to Bariso, embracing “awkward silence” allows us to:

• Put the outside world on mute
• Exercise thinking faculties
• Get to root problems more effectively
• Give deeper, more thoughtful answers
• Bring emotions into balance
• Remain in harmony with our values and principles
• Increase confidence
• Say what we mean, and mean what we say
  
  

Says the author, “That may sound like a lot for 10 to 20 seconds, but you'll be surprised what your brain can accomplish once it's given a little more time to do what it was designed to do: think things through.”
 
When was the last time you allowed a buffer of silence before addressing a complicated topic—and how do you feel when others do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love to hear from you!

Do you try to avoid arguing with your partner? If so you are hardly alone. Many couples go out of their way to avoid quarrels. But Janice Webb, PhD., a therapist writing in Psychology Today  shares research suggesting that this avoidance can be a self-defeating strategy. “Suppressed feelings of frustration, annoyance, anger, or hurt may build up enough to cause a major eruption or lie under the surface for decades, driving a couple farther and farther apart.”

Webb compares healthy arguing to a bolt of lightning: “Just like lightning crystallizes the electric charge and clears it from the air during a storm, fights can calm relationships by crystallizing and clearing the negative emotion between the partners.” 

There is a natural cycle that characterizes a healthy relationship, says the author: harmony (which cannot last forever) rupture (the challenging part), and repair. The repair process strengthens a relationship in three ways:  

1. You get to know one another better by learning about one another’s feelings;
2. You each learn what you can do to contribute to your partner’s happiness;
3. You send powerful messages to your partner that they matter to you. When you are vulnerable (“I’m feeling left out”), you are communicating trust. When you stick through a painful conflict, you are communicating commitment.
   
   

Have you ever gone out of your way to avoid arguing with your partner, and if so, why? Have you ever had a fight that led to greater closeness?

​To join the conversation, click "comments" above, we’d really like to get your feedback.

For a leader who wants to inspire, few things are more important than communicating with employees in a positive way. Writing in Inc., Marcel Schwantes, founder and Chief Human officer of Leadership From the Core, says “there are certain undeniable phrases that, if we use them more often with team members, will result in an increase in trust and loyalty.”

Schwantes offers five examples of what great leaders will genuinely put into words to engage minds and hearts:
 

1. We couldn’t have pulled off this project without you. This is especially gratifying if said In the presence of others.
2. I could use your advice. Research shows people who ask for advice are perceived as more competent. 
3. What can I do to help?  This phrase is especially welcome during stressful times.
4. This was clearly my mistake. Effective leaders show humility and acknowledge their own shortcomings.
5. I don't know. Being comfortable with not knowing allows one to learn and grow,

 
When was the last time you used one of these phrases, or heard your manager use one? What was the impact? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture).  We would really to hear your feedback.

During conflict, it’s typical to move into a “flight or fight response.” Our brain is ‘hijacked’ by our amygdala, seat of fear and anxiety, and we may lose access to rational thinking. Our face may redden and our speech quicken — and because of “mirror neurons” the person to whom we are speaking may become agitated as well.  However, writing in the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo, author of The HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, says, “It’s possible to interrupt this physical response, manage your emotions, and clear the way for a productive discussion.”
 
Here are some tips for calming yourself down once you’ve gotten worked up:

• Breathe: The simple mindfulness technique of focusing on the sensations of inhaling and exhaling can counter the physical signs of panic and keep you focused.
• Focus on your body: Standing up and walking around can help activate the thinking part of your brain. You might say, “I feel like I need to stretch some. Mind if I walk around a bit?”
• Try saying a mantra:  Come up with a phrase that you can repeat to remind yourself to stay calm, e.g. “Go to neutral” or “This will pass.”
• Acknowledge and label your feelings:  Distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions by naming them: “I am feeling angry because I have the thought that my co-worker is blaming me.” When you put space between you and your emotions it’s easier to let them go.
• Take a break: The more time you give yourself to process your emotions, the less intense they are likely to be.

 
How did you handle the last conversation you had when you were “worked up” and what do you wish you might have done differently? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture).  We would really like to hear your feedback.