4 Breakthrough Moves When Your Teen Tunes You Out

Many parents are stumped and troubled when their child starts tuning them out. Can this be reversed?

Asked by The New York Times about how to continue to get through to teenagers, Cara Natterson, a Los Angeles pediatrician and co-author of “This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained,” and Dylan Gee, an associate professor at the Yale Child Study Center, offered this advice:

• Don’t Lecture:  Lectures are received by your teen as a barrage of blah, blah, blah.  Try initiating a conversation instead, by using open-ended starters like, “I’m wondering…” or “What do you think about…?”
• Get Curious: If you're caught off-guard by a tough or surprising comment or question from your teen, dig a little deeper. Try “I hadn’t thought about that. Can you tell me more?” Listening deeply to their answer will give you greater access to their world.
• Keep the Conversation Going:  After you address an awkward conversation, don't think you have crossed it off your list for good. A series of small conversations keeps communication open. And it isn’t helpful to assure them that they’ll “laugh about it one day” because that says you are not hearing them.
• Don't Be Afraid to be Wrong:  Let your teen see you admit when you make a mistake. This vulnerability models emotional intelligence, and it can be a bonding moment that strengthens your relationship and builds trust.

What do you do when your teen becomes uncommunicative?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" above.

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