Building Rapport...Do Better Than "What do You Do?"

Socializing at networking events can feel awkward, and we often fill the silence with the query, “What do you do?” But this may not be the best way to build rapport. (Tweet it!)

Research suggests we prefer relationships where we can relate to another in multiple contexts and that these “multiplex relationships” tend to be more trusting and longer lasting. If a co-worker takes the same yoga class as you or supports the same charity, your bond is likely to strengthen (https://repository.upenn.edu/dissertations/AAI3431176/).

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, David Burkus, author of Friend of a Friend, and Oral Roberts University leadership professor, suggests questions that may begin the transition of a new acquaintance into a multiplex relationship. Among them:

• What are you looking forward to?
• What do you do for fun?
• Where did you grow up?
• Who’s your favorite superhero?
• What excites you right now?
• What's the most important thing I should know about you?
• Whatever question you ask, make it open-ended enough to allow others to select non-work answers if they choose. Doing so increases the odds that a stranger may become more than a ”contact.”

​What is an interesting icebreaker question that you’ve been asked? Did it lead to a stronger rapport? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs. 

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