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Emotional Intelligence = Communication Intelligence

6/16/2015

Decades of research have shown EQ (Emotional Intelligence) to be a critical differentiator for leaders. EQ affects how we manage our own behavior and how we interact with others. In a recent Inc. article, Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, recounted the chief characteristics of people with high EQs and we were struck, once again, by how many of them are related to communication.

Many aspects of EQ affect how we communicate with others. These include curiosity about other people, the ability to read others’ emotions, and a talent for neutralizing toxic people by not allowing their anger to fuel a tense situation.

Other equally important aspects of EQ, however, affect how we communicate with ourselves. Those with high EQs have what Bradberry calls “a robust emotional vocabulary”— they can identify and differentiate among many subtle states of emotion. They can joke about themselves, let go of mistakes and grudges, and “stop negative self-talk in its tracks.”

Whether your communication is internal or external, self-awareness and self-management are the keys to EQ, and to a high-impact life.

We want to hear: What communication practices do you think are measures of EQ? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.

2 Comments

Merry B. link

6/16/2015 07:33:11 am

I think one of the blessings of being the oldest in a large family is learning to be the "peacemaker". Being empathic and being able to "read" other people is a gift that helps a great deal in working with customers, both in person and on the phone. Body language and tone of voice and say a lot about the feelings and temperment of the person you are communicating with. A genuine interest in people, and a smile when you greet them - both in person or on the phone - makes a difference. Even an angry customer can be made to feel happy, with the genuine concern of a customer service person who really cares. The problem I have seen with the younger generations is they tend more toward pleasing themselves, and less toward pleasing others. Recently, I was dealing with a very frustrating situation at Wal-Mart. Not only was it a very hot day, and my 87 yr old mother was tired, but when checking out with our other items, Wal-Mart sold me 5 bags of top soil in their garden area that they did not have. After a long, hot, time trying to pick them up at that area, I was asked to drive and park in another area while the young man checked. Sure enough, they had none, and he could not sell me what they did have, and credit the other.
I had to drive around to the other side of the store, leave mom sitting in the car in the heat, with the AC running, to walk into Wal Mart, all the way to customer service, and wait in line. I asked again to buy the brand they had and just get credit for the ones they did not have. Blank stare. Then a totally confused lady had no idea what to do. She wanted me to go get something else and bring it back to exchange it for the item they did not have. OK?? 200 lbs of top soil? I need back surgery and was not going to even try that one. I got a refund and gave up. When we were shopping there earlier, we dealt with rotting and moldy produce, that did not seem to upset anyone much, when I gave it to the Manager (?). Not ONE person in the whole experience could do anything to help, and the young man in garden was the only one of the bunch that even tried. The worse part was they really did not care. They had no clue how to deal with people, or even try to solve the problem in a logical manner.
Contrast that with the experience ten min. later at Lowes. I pulled in by Garden, told a nice young man what I needed, paid a cashier right there, and he had me loaded out in maybe five min. total.
Friendly, actually TRYING to solve a problem and serve the customer. I will go back and spend money at Lowe's, but not Wal-Mart.
With the business enviornment and economy like it is these days, you HAVE to care, and to try and keep a good attitude, or you will lose business. Reminding myself that even the most frustrating customer is still a person that is important to me, helps.
Personally, I am at an age where I know how futile and energy wasting being angry, holding grudges, and such, really are. I try to forgive and go on. Keeping in mind the big picture and how little most things we get upset over really are.
The communication we have with others is very important in business, but I agree that the communication we have with ourselves helps us deal with a lot of it too. Keeping it positive is not always easy, but definitely easier on the stress levels!
A couple of bottles of cold water and the success at Lowes, and we were on our way feeling MUCH better that day. Attitude is up to YOU. Stay positive, and even the most frustrating situations can become a big laugh later.

Susan

6/16/2015 03:21:51 pm

I often think that how employees respond to customers is a reflection of how their organization treats them. It's also related to the organization's culture around communication-- and even about the decision making parameters given to line employees to solve problems and make things right. And individual EQ clearly plays a role. Glad your day turned around, Merry!

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