Have you been with people who talk on and on about themselves? While it may feel tiresome, there is no better way to make a good impression and come across as a great listener and communicator than to let another person self-disclose. According to Harvard research published in Scientific American, revealing personal information to others produces a high level of activation in neural regions associated with motivation and reward. In short, it feels good. You can always prime the pump by asking people questions about their experiences, interests, and accomplishments. In addition to making your conversation partner feel good and making you look good, there are other benefits to this kind of dialogue. Disclosing personal information to others increases social bonding and interpersonal liking. And sharing information gained through personal experiences can lead to performance advantages by facilitating teamwork. We want to hear: How do you encourage others to talk about themselves, and what advantages do you think you gain from doing so? To join the conversation, click "comments" on our Community of Practice Forum.
5 Comments
Alison
7/28/2015 06:35:01 am
I recall having to sit and listen to someone's very traumatic child molestation experience. A part of me wanted to run, cry out, but another part 'said' to myself 'you only have to listen' she actually had to live it, you can do this'. This is an extreme example I know; but I really learned something that day that has helped me when managing people. Everyone has a back story! Everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. I think when we listen to other people in distress they are better able to move forward and are more productive than they would otherwise be and all it takes is 15 minutes. - Susan can you soften this before you post it? It sounds a little judgemental of Sharon and I don't that.
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Alison
7/28/2015 07:23:14 am
I recall having to sit and listen to someone's very traumatic child molestation experience. A part of me wanted to run, cry out, but another part 'said' to myself 'you only have to listen' she actually had to live it, you can do this'. This is an extreme example I know; but I really learned something that day that has helped me when managing people. Everyone has a back story! Everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. I think when we listen to other people in distress they are better able to move forward and are more productive than they would otherwise be and all it takes is 15 minutes.
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susan
7/28/2015 09:09:49 am
Thanks for this, Alison. You have zeroed in on the impact of deep compassionate listening. As you say, when we hear someone out with respect and kindness, they feel heard and may be more ready to move on.Have you had experience with people who are not ready to move on even after you've listened? That gets tougher for sure.
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