Heading Off an Angry Outburst

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​Coworkers can be irritating…maybe sometimes infuriating. But even if we feel justifiably angry with someone who casts unwarranted blame on us or undermines our objectives, angry outbursts at work almost always backfire—and rarely solve the problems that incited them.

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Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Peter Bregman, CEO of Bregman Partners and author of Leading With Emotional Courage, says you can “outsmart” your next angry outburst by asking yourself these four questions before communicating:

• What outcome do I want? Minimize your emotional reaction by thinking about what you want to achieve.
• What should I communicate to achieve that outcome? Once you know what you want, express it, and know that it is okay to be vulnerable (“I’m feeling like an outsider on our team” rather than “You’re undermining my credibility by excluding me from meetings.”)
• How should I communicate to achieve it? To increase your chances of being heard, be curious and ask questions. Show you are trying to understand the other person’s perspective.  (Tweet it!)
• When should I communicate to achieve it? Don’t respond immediately with a gut reaction. “Don’t communicate just because you feel like it. Communicate when you are most likely to be received well.”

What techniques do you use to restrain yourself from an angry outburst? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
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