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How to Rant... Productively

7/31/2018

2 Comments

 
Picture
Aaarrgghhh! Sometimes you just want to rant, right? Everyone needs to blow off steam at times. (Tweet it!) Writing in The New York Times, Carl Richards, author of the book The Behavior Gap, suggests that ranting can be a good thing…”But only if you do it right. If you do it wrong, the consequences can cost you your job, your friendships or even your marriage (https://nyti.ms/2kfHQuH).

To rant productively, says Richards, follow four guidelines:
  1. Do. Not. Send: If you have the slightest doubt about emailing or posting a written rant, don’t. Just writing is cathartic.
  2. Find A Friend: Instead of ranting to the person you’re frustrated with (or to the whole world), rant to someone you trust. (And if you want to rant about a co-worker, don’t do it to another co-worker. Your rant witness should be completely detached from the subject.)
  3. Not in public. Grab your friend and go somewhere quiet. Nobody is at their best when ranting. Why put that on display?
  4. Don’t expect a rant to fix things. Your rant will not change the issue or the person you are frustrated with. Think of ranting as something you do with the purpose of changing yourself. Get it all out. Once you purge, you can start thinking about next steps.
So, here’s our own addition:
​         Draft a conscious conversation. After your rant has cleared your head and emotions, begin to consciously consider how to raise the issue with the subject of your rant. Or, if you decide that it was as much about you as that person, put it away and move on.


What’s the last thing you ranted about, and how, where, and with whom did you do it? Did it help to get it off your chest? Did you follow up with the person who upset you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

2 Comments
Sabrina
8/7/2018 12:10:20 pm

I love this post and agree that ranting can be productive. I've added one more guideline for myself--set a time limit. This way I stop myself from getting stuck.

A few weeks back I was upset at my spouse. I decided to go for a bike ride and rant to myself. So much for not doing it in public--I must have looked funny riding down the road and ranting away. After about six miles I suddenly stopped. I actually got off my bike and sat down on the curb. I had suddenly realized I was responsible for much of the fight we were having and needed to take responsibility. Getting through the ranting helped me realize this. I also had some legitimate points and was later able to address both in a much more productive way. The rant was great and the physical activity probably helped, too.

Reply
Peter
8/7/2018 01:10:55 pm

Sabrina what an abundance of useful insights. Timing, exercise, consciously thinking through your respnonse and accepting your part of the problem. Thank you for sharing this with our community.

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  • Courses
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