Interactive Listening

Do you think you’re a good listener? Most of us probably rate ourselves as “above average” in this area (a mathematical impossibility). Most people think effective listening consists of not interrupting, letting others know you are listening (uh-huh, mmm-hmm) and being able to repeat back what others have said.  

However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing good listening skills.

Their four main findings:

1. Good listeners are not always silent when others talk.  They periodically ask questions that prompt discovery and insight. Good listening is more of a two-way dialogue than speaker vs. listener.
2. Good listening builds the speaker’s self-esteem. Good listeners make the other person feel supported and convey confidence. Good listening creates a safe environment so issues and differences can be discussed openly.
3. Good listening is a cooperative conversation. Good listeners may challenge assumptions and disagree, “but the person being listened to feels the listener is trying to help, not wanting to win an argument.”
4. Good listeners tend to make suggestions. Good listening invariably includes some feedback in an acceptable format that opens up alternative paths to consider.

Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively.

​When you are a listener, do you engage in these practices, and when you are a speaker, would you appreciate them? To join the conversation, click "comments" on above.
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