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Make the Most of Family Holiday Gatherings

12/17/2013

3 Comments

 
Emotions of all kinds run high during the holidays. According to a 2006 study by the American Psychological Association, many people report positive emotions such as happiness (78 percent “often”), love (75 percent “often”), and high spirits (60 percent “often”). But 44 percent also report that family holiday gatherings “sometimes” or “often” cause stress.

Because the holidays can magnify sore spots in relationships, the APA suggests that we all manage our expectations. Barring a holiday miracle, a typically bumpy relationship isn’t going to smooth out overnight.

Along with this advice from the APA, we would like to reveal a family game that we play when the Glaser clan is together:  We go around the table—with each person taking a turn being the focal point—and the rest of the group (one person at a time) saying what we appreciate and admire about the person who is “it.” (When we tried this with our 3 ½ year old grandson, he was utterly ecstatic!) We also suggest practicing your listening skills. Don’t focus only on saying something positive…also be sure to take in the positive things your family and friends say about you.


These tips might not cause a miracle, but they could magnify positive emotions— and set an affectionate tone for the bumps that might also come along.

We want to hear!  How do you handle stress at family holiday gatherings? And if you try our “game,” please tell us how it worked for you. Share your responses to the weekly discussion question on our Community of Practice Forum

3 Comments
Merry link
12/19/2013 12:43:26 am

I really like the idea of your game. Ours is a very large family, and actually the last big gathering we had turned out to be a disaster.
Many of us also work together, and the family members that came to simply share the holiday and enjoy gathering as a family were rather stunned and upset by the behavior of a few who live and work here. Thanksgiving was always the one time of the year when our whole family gathered. Last year the gathering was overshadowed by the negative and abusive behavior of one person in particular. So much so that this year the rest of the family decided to NOT have a Thanksgiving gathering this year.
Holidays tend to polarize our family into two separate groups these days, and we are gathering privately with our own children, grandchildren, and such. It is sad, because getting to know the extended family is good for children. As a child, I loved the traditional gathering at my Grandmother's house of all the family.
Aunts, Uncles, cousins, parents and grandparents. It was wonderful and I have many good memories of those times.
Your game sounds like a very good way to encourage postive feelings, statements, and a loving environment. We may try it at one of our gatherings over the holidays too.
Merry Christmas to all of you!

Reply
susan
12/19/2013 03:01:37 am

We have always believed that families who work together in business have additional obstacles to work through -- and sadly these issues do pop up during the holidays. We had a small and delightful Thanksgiving this year with only our children and grandson. Very sweet time as you found. Let us know if you play the game! I think we will be doing it again next week.

Reply
Merry link
12/31/2013 05:36:37 am

We had a very calm Christmas with our immediate kids and grandkids. Work was not mentioned.


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