Emotions of all kinds run high during the holidays. According to a 2006 study by the American Psychological Association, many people report positive emotions such as happiness (78 percent “often”), love (75 percent “often”), and high spirits (60 percent “often”). But 44 percent also report that family holiday gatherings “sometimes” or “often” cause stress.
Because the holidays can magnify sore spots in relationships, the APA suggests that we all manage our expectations. Barring a holiday miracle, a typically bumpy relationship isn’t going to smooth out overnight.
Along with this advice from the APA, we would like to reveal a family game that we play when the Glaser clan is together: We go around the table—with each person taking a turn being the focal point—and the rest of the group (one person at a time) saying what we appreciate and admire about the person who is “it.” (When we tried this with our 3 ½ year old grandson, he was utterly ecstatic!) We also suggest practicing your listening skills. Don’t focus only on saying something positive…also be sure to take in the positive things your family and friends say about you.
These tips might not cause a miracle, but they could magnify positive emotions— and set an affectionate tone for the bumps that might also come along.
We want to hear! How do you handle stress at family holiday gatherings? And if you try our “game,” please tell us how it worked for you. Share your responses to the weekly discussion question on our Community of Practice Forum