Navigating Tough Conversations with Employees

Tommy Mello, writing in Inc., says he doesn’t relish having tough conversations with employees. He is certainly not alone. “A lot of leaders have a hard time having tough conversations, and that is one of the big reasons why companies fail.” Quoting Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, he reminds us, "Never be afraid of the conversations you are having. Be afraid of the conversations you are not having."

So how can you improve your approach for tough conversations?

• Listen first:  Understand employees’ goals and perspectives. If they are underperforming, ask them what the challenge has been from their point of view.
• Make it about them, not you:  Encourage them and let them know you can figure things out together. “Get them to write down their dreams on paper, and remind them in future meetings: ‘You told me that this is what you want, and I want to help you get what you want.’”
• Make conversations proactive, not reactive: Don't wait for problems to take you by surprise. Try to head them off by having weekly (or at least monthly) meetings with direct reports where everyone checks in with their results and concerns.
• Create a culture in which employees initiate tough conversations:  Employees should feel free to directly address their own strengths and areas for improvement.

How did you recently handle a tough conversation with an employee? Did you initiate it or did they? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

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