Not All Praise Is Equal

 UCLA psychology professor Jim Stigler studies teaching and learning around the world. As a grad student he conducted a study comparing Japanese and American kids presented with an impossible math problem.  American students gave up after 30 seconds; their Japanese counterparts persevered until researchers stopped them. The difference: Are we teaching our students that struggle is a predictable part of learning and a chance to demonstrate that they have what it takes to persevere?  Or do we communicate that struggle is a sign they are just not smart enough? 

Should we praise a child for being smart, or for working hard?  Marion Forgatch and Gerry Patterson, leading authorities on parenting practices, suggest that rather than offering blanket “Good job!” kudos to kids, we reinforce their hard work by asking "Wow, how did you do that? Could you show me how to do that?"

By focusing on specific detailed actions and effort, we help children discover for themselves what the steps were that brought their success.  As we do this we also instill resilience, and perseverance—the essence of grit—in the next generation.

We want to hear:  How do you praise the kids in your life and how have they responded?  Share your stories here.