Replace Blame with Curiosity

 For teams to succeed, their members must feel safe. Studies show that psychological safety allows for openness, moderate risk-taking, and creativity (Tweet it!). In order to achieve breakthroughs, people need to take chances—but that won't happen if they fear rejection or ridicule.
 
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Laura DeLizzona, PhD, an instructor at Stanford University, notes that one of the best strategies for making co-workers feels safe—and therefore innovative and productive—is to replace blame with curiosity. “If team members sense that you’re trying to blame them for something, you become their saber-toothed tiger,” she says.
 
While blame leads to defensiveness and disengagement, curiosity indicates a learning mindset. Maybe you don’t have all the facts, so:

• State the problematic behavior or outcome using factual, neutral language, e.g. “In the past quarter there was a decline in sales in your region.”  
• Explore the issue. “I imagine there are many factors at work. Can we uncover what they are?”
• Ask for solutions. The same people who are responsible for creating a problem often hold the keys to solving it.

Can you recall a time when you consciously replaced an urge to blame a coworker with questions indicating curiosity? Did you learn anything unexpected? What was the result? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

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