Up Your Conversation Skills

Many people want to be able to converse well at parties, networking events, and interviews. In a recent New York Times “Smarter Living” column (https://nyti.ms/2xmb9mj), Tim Herrera compiled the following tips:

• Stick to Acceptable Topics: Pop culture, sports, weather, and current shared experiences tend to be safest. Debra Fine author of The Fine Art of Small Talk adds another basic rule: “Don’t ask a question that could embarrass someone: ‘Is your boyfriend here?’ ‘Did you get into that M.B.A. program?’”
• Engage, don’t entertain: People think you’re a brilliant conversationalist when you ask about them rather than go on about yourself. (Researchers from the psychology department at Harvard found that talking about yourself triggers the same pleasure sensation in the brain as food. People would forgo money in order to talk about themselves.)
• Think of each conversation as a pie: Don't take more than your piece. In a two-person conversation, that means half, in a four-person, just one quarter.

 
Finally, we’d like to add a guideline that Justin Jones- Fosu recommends. Before you start talking about yourself, ask your conversation partner three follow up questions. Chances are they’ll think you’re the smartest person in the room!
 
Do you consider yourself a good conversationalist? What are your secrets? (Tweet it!) To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to read more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our book: Be Quiet, Be Heard: The Paradox of Persuasion

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