When you don't Want to Cry

Ad Vingerhoets, author of Why Humans Weep: Unravelling the Mysteries of Tears, says that crying is a product of evolution, serving to alert parents to their offspring’s location and discomfort. But of course adults cry too. And according to Dr. Vingerhoets, speaking to The New York Times, the two major consistent triggers for adult crying are “helplessness and powerlessness,” and “separation and loss.” (https://nyti.ms/2RHDZoY)
 
Although crying is natural, we might find ourselves in certain situations where we don't want to cry in public—perhaps in a difficult meeting or during an emotionally fraught conversation. If so, psychologists and body language specialists suggest these techniques:
 

• Cry before you face conflict. If you allow yourself to cry it out beforehand, you’ll be more likely to keep your composure.
• Rehearse how to handle the worst-case scenario. The worst might not happen, but that way you’re prepared to face anything. (Tweet it!)
• Practice keeping the conversation on track. Avoid escalating the emotional stakes. Think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it.

If you start to cry, and want to stop, there are some physical tricks you can try: relax your facial muscles, breathe deeply, give yourself a pinch.  Or, as  Janine Driver, chief executive of the Body Language Institute in Washington, advises, “Simply push your tongue to the roof of your mouth and you will instantly stop crying.”

Have you ever attempted to avert tears?  Were you successful, and how did you do it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
 
If you would like to learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication, check out our online learning programs. 

---