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Looking Good to Your Boss’s Boss

6/17/2024

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To get ahead, it’s good to be noticed by senior management, but how do you do it without antagonizing your own boss?

If your boss isn't being particularly useful in helping you advance your ideas or take advantage of opportunities, you may be tempted to go over their head. But, needless to say, this can present risks.

As recounted in the Harvard Business Review, Dave MacKeen, CEO of Eliassen Group, a strategic consulting and talent solutions provider, and Chuck Cohen, Managing Director of Benco Dental, the largest, privately-owned dental distributor in the U.S., offer suggestions for demonstrating your true potential without alienating your direct manager: 

  • Demonstrate your commitment to growth:  Learn knew skills that will help you contribute to the company.
  • Focus on your team’s success:  Senior leadership notices who works collaboratively.
  • Continually work on your communication skills:  Know your audience and craft messages that will resonate.
  • Build relationships throughout the company: Look for opportunities to connect and collaborate with other key players at all levels.
  • Be an expert in your area:  Whatever part of the business is your domain, know it chapter and verse.
  • Do what you say you will:  Commit and follow through.
  • Think Big Picture:  Don't just work “in” the business, work “on” the business. 
  • Challenge old ways and find new solutions:  If you have an innovative solution, share it openly.
  • Raise your hand:  Don’t be afraid to ask for opportunities to show your skills and talents. 

What have you done to raise your profile, and how did your boss react? To join the conversation, leave a reply below. We would love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Starting Fail-Proof Conversations

6/3/2024

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“Big things happen during small talk,” says Matt Abrahams, Stanford instructor and host of  the popular podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. He says "Small talk gets a bad rap", but it is actually an incredibly effective communications tool.  He often challenges people to think about how many of their close friendships started with small talk – and the answer is, generally, quite a few. 

“A lot of us put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be interesting," Abrahams explains. "We want to say exciting, valuable, relevant stuff, and it's the wrong mindset.” The trick, he maintains, is to lead with curiosity. He advises we think of an initial, casual conversation as akin to Hacky Sack. You serve to the other person and then they serve back to you. Good conversation is,  by definition, collaboration.

Some quick small talk tips:
  • Begin with questions
  • Observe things in context 
  • Bring up relevant information
  • Avoid the doom loop of,  “Hi, how are you?, “Fine, how are you?”

Of course, if you're at a professional gathering, there's a chance you have a specific agenda in mind when starting a conversation, for example, looking for customers, investments, new hires, or useful information. In such cases, Abrahams says, “find hooks and ways of bridging to the topic you want to discuss so that it could become a natural part of the conversation.”  

Can you recall a significant business or personal relationship that began with small talk? To join the conversation, click "comments" below.  We'd love to hear about your experiences!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 


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Words to Avoid on A Job Interview

5/27/2024

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Do you want to come off as evasive and arrogant in a job interview?  If not, there are two words to avoid.

Most job  interviews these days include some of what are known as ”behavioral questions.”  These usually begin with phrases like, “Tell me about a time when…" or "Give me an example of…". These are designed to probe your past work experiences. Given the format, most replies job-seekers give will necessarily involve some version of the phrase "I did."

What you want to avoid, conversely, is using the words “you should.” 

Writing In Forbes, Mark Murphy, the New York Times bestselling author whose latest book is Never Say These Words in a Job Interview, says responding with the words "you should," diverges from the personal to the impersonal, shifting the focus from your own experiences to general advice. And giving advice obscures the unique insights into your capabilities and personality that interviewers seek.

Research backs this up. Murphy’s Leadership IQ study found that interview answers rated poorly by hiring managers use the word "you" almost 400% more than good interview answers. Bad interview answers also contain significantly more present and future tense verbs.

Remember, the interviewer wants to learn about you and your past experience, specifically. Veering into generalities and pontifications can make your answers less relevant and less impressive.

Did you ever say something you regretted  in a job interview? To join the conversation, click "comments" below.
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Are You Being Seen at Work?

4/9/2024

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Being seen and recognized for your work can usher in new opportunities and move your career to the next level.  So how do you become more visible?

According to Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of Trust Yourself, even introverts can find ways to play to their strengths and boost visibility. 

  • Speak up early in meetings:  If you tend to hold back in meetings waiting for the “right moment” to interject, you may miss your chance altogether.  You can circumvent this cycle by challenging yourself to be the second or third person to contribute.

  • Take the pressure off:  Visibility doesn't require having a groundbreaking idea.  You can build on a colleague’s idea, ask a clarifying question, or suggest resources.

  • Ditch the self-deprecation:  Stop using disqualifiers like “I’m no expert but...” or “This is just my opinion.”  Instead try, “Another approach could be...” or “I’d like to propose...”

  • Show gratitude:  Sometimes we find ourselves struggling to be humble, while also recognizing the importance of claiming our successes.  Expressing gratitude is a graceful solution to this puzzle.  By framing your accomplishments within the context of appreciation for the contributions of others, you can stay true to yourself while also ensuring your achievements don’t fly under the radar.

What have you done to become more visible at your job, and what were the  results? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above.  We would love to hear about your experiences!
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Can You Detect Counterfeit EQ?

3/19/2024

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It’s possible to fake emotional intelligence – like forgeries and knock-offs.  But there are 3 ways to spot counterfeit EQ, not just in others but also in yourself.
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Interacting from a place of emotional intelligence requires empathy, active listening, and self-awareness. But some leaders can counterfeit these emotions so skillfully that they can even fool themselves.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Ron Carucci, managing partner at Navalent and author of To Be Honest, says, “Our ability to express emotional intelligence is sometimes impaired by unacknowledged, unhealthy, emotional needs."  If you want to genuinely communicate emotional intelligence, pay attention to these 3 common imitations:

  • A need to be the hero can masquerade as empathy.  A leader’s desire to demonstrate care can transcend healthy boundaries in unintended ways.  If your need to rescue and to be indispensable is paramount, you will not be able to give your team what they need:  coaching, guidance, and accountability.  “Compassionate understanding for the challenges of others is emotionally intelligent.  Rescuing them from the consequences of those challenges may be more cruel than kind.”
  • A need to be right can be disguised as active listening.  Most leaders claim to want pushback and believe they listen to dissenting ideas.  But many would also admit that letting go of being right is hard, feeling like a loss of control and influence.  Leaders can feign listening while actually trying to lure others to their side without realizing they’re doing it.
  • A need for approval can be dressed up as self-awareness.  When fueled by an unquenched desire for approval, self-awareness can warp into a self-serving dead end.  If your request for feedback from team members is experienced as a neurotic plea for affirmation, the team learns that the only right answer is “You’re doing great!”

How would you rate your EQ, as well as the leaders you work with most closely?  Are there ways to become even more authentic?  To join the conversation, click "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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One Magic Word To Make You 50% More Influential

3/12/2024

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Sometimes you just need one word to change someone’s mind.

Jonah Berger, Professor of Marketing at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School, compiled a list of “magic words” that can change the way you communicate.  He discovered that using the word “because” while trying to convince someone to do something has a compelling result.  He found that more people “will listen to you and do what you want” when you offer a justification for your requests. 

Berger points to a classic study from Harvard University where researchers sat in a university library and waited for someone to use the copy machine. Then, they walked up and asked to cut in front of the unknowing participant.

They phrased their request in three different ways:
  • “May I use the Xerox machine?”
  • “May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?”
  • “May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”

Both requests using “because” made the people already making copies more than 50 percent more likely to comply.  Interestingly, even the second phrasing — which could be reinterpreted as “May I step in front of you to do the same exact thing you’re doing?” — was effective.  The phrasing indicated that the stranger asking for a favor was at least being considerate about it, the study suggested.

“Persuasion wasn’t driven by the reason itself,” Berger notes, “It was driven by the power of the word: because.”

Have you noticed any reactions when you justify requests with “because”? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.  We would love hear about your experience with this one, magic word!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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4 Ways to Turn Discord at Work Into Great Decisions

2/27/2024

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While disagreeing may be uncomfortable, research tells us that diverse thinking is far more likely to lead to progress, innovations and breakthroughs than “nice” conversations where people hide what they really think. 

But how do you foster productive debate on your team? Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Shane Snow, author of Dream Teams: Working Together Without Falling Apart, offers four tips:

  1. Remember that you are all on the same team: Remind everyone they are teammates, not adversaries, and there is no “winner.” The goal is not to convince people that you are right, but rather to find the best solution, and all viewpoints are welcome.
  2. Keep it about facts, logic, and the topic at hand: Facts are different than interpretations of facts so stick to what is known. If the debate veers into other topics, acknowledge that and reset. Remember: “The debate is not about who cares more, who’s loudest, or who’s most powerful.”
  3. Don’t make it personal: To depersonalize disagreements, agree that there will be no judgments or name calling, and that no one will lose face for changing their mind. “Instead of questions like ‘how could you believe that?’ or ‘why can’t you see…?’, try posing ‘what’ questions instead, such as ‘what makes you feel that way?’ or ‘what has led you to that conclusion?’”
  4. Be intellectually humble: Listen to and respect every person and viewpoint. Be curious. Admit when you realize you are wrong, and graciously cheer on other ideas, different from your own.

How do you keep a debate on track when it seems to be veering? To join the conversation, click "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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3 Ways to Influence at Work Without a Title

2/20/2024

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But how does an informal leader motivate colleagues to support their initiatives and adopt their ideas?  How can anyone become a go-to person that others look to for guidance and advice?

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, career and workplace journalist Rebecca Knight, outlines a plan for anyone who wants to promote an initiative.  First, create a map of colleagues related to the issue you want to tackle.  Second, craft your message with a concise elevator pitch.  Third, cultivate allies by asking for advice and incorporating it.  And lastly, develop your expertise by staying up-to-date on your topic.  So, even if you’re not a formal leader at work, you can influence others with these 3 action steps.

3 Action Steps To Influence At Work:
  1. Cultivate personal connections with colleagues so they assume positive intent when you want to influence them.
  2. Listen first. Make it clear to colleagues that you value and use their opinions.
  3. Develop expertise by attending conferences or taking on a leadership role in a professional organization.

What methods do you use to influence others at work? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you!
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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Change 1 word to magnify your impact

2/13/2024

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Ever been in a situation where you’re getting resistance to your opinion? Try switching from “you” to “we”.

New research from Stanford University reveals how using “you” versus “we” affects how people respond to messages in settings such as online forums and a simulated workplace scenario.

Their findings are notable: In adversarial contexts that held the potential for disagreement or conflict, messages that used “you” and “your” were less persuasive, less likely to be shared, and more likely to be censored than ones that employed “we” and “our.” People who participated in the study were also less inclined to interact or engage with the sources of messages that used “you” rather than “we.”

“We’re not saying that ‘you’ invariably leads to worse outcomes,” study co-author Mohamed Hussein cautions. “We’re saying that when ‘you’ is used in an adversarial or conflict-ridden context, it has the potential to inadvertently lead to negative consequences.”  “We” is more inclusive and lands less aggressively.  “Most people would rather talk to a person who says ‘we got this wrong’ than ‘you got this wrong',” says the study’s other co-author, Zakary Tormala. 

Tormala and Hussein advise that if you’re trying to reach someone with an opposing view, be sure to signal that you are open to their perspective. Managing your pronouns is just one way to do that.  

What results occur when you change “you” messages to “we” messages? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 




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4 Responses When “Boundary Predators” Stalk

2/6/2024

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Boundary violators exist in all realms of life, but at work, they can be especially troubling. What can you do to set and maintain limits?

The boss that continually intrudes on your personal time, the client who demands more than you agreed to, or the team leader who piles a majority of their work on you…these are all what Priscilla Claman, president of Boston-based Career Strategies Inc., calls “boundary predators.” Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Claman explains, “Boundary predators rely on their power and authority — and your passivity — to get what they want. It’s up to you to push back by understanding how to create boundaries and maintain them.”

She 
offers these 4 strategies:

  1. Have an agreement up front:  This means that everyone consents to terms ahead of time, and everyone understands objectives and expectations. (“I have a hard stop at 5 PM today, and I can tackle the rest tomorrow morning.”) 
  2. Be wary of “scope creep”: This is when you're asked to do more than you've signed up for. At times it is fine to concede, but it may be necessary to reset your original boundary bargain. (“I am happy to do it for you this time, and going forward I can show someone on your staff how to do it.”
  3. Ask questions: Ask clarifying questions before committing to additional assignments. Keep the questions open-ended, so you’ll be able to gather more information without being perceived as negative.
  4. When you decline, don't give a parade of reasons.  Over-explanation will not help you. Too much explanation can lead to the appearance of insecurity and defensiveness.

What do you do when someone oversteps your boundaries? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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How to Rehearse for a Big Presentation

1/30/2024

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If you want to create a high impact presentation, rehearsal is crucial, but memorization is not the answer. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Harvard professor Carmine Gallo says, “The best speakers make presentations look effortless, precisely because they put so much effort into perfecting their delivery.” He offers guidelines for getting the most out of rehearsal time.  Here are 5 key practices. 

  • Commit to improvement:  For exponential improvement, commit to rehearsing far more than ever before.  Repeating the first few minutes of your introduction as you drive or walk counts toward your goal. If there’s an especially complex or technical section of the presentation, spend more time practicing those.
  • Start as strong as you end:  The two most important parts of your presentation are the beginning and end. The intro sets the stage and gives your audience a reason to care. Your conclusion determines what content people will walk away with, and how they will feel overall. So nail down the first two minutes and last two minutes of your presentation. Spontaneity can live in the middle.
  • Practice under mild stress: Researchers agree the best way to deliver an outstanding presentation is to practice under stress. In her book Choke, Sian Beilock examined individuals who perform best when it counts most. “Even practicing under mild levels of stress can prevent you from choking when high levels of stress come around,” she writes.  Become accustomed to being in front of an audience, even if it’s just one or two people.
  • Record your Rehearsal:  Audio only goes so far, so be sure to do some video recordings on your phone. Notice where you might be fidgeting or fumbling words and give those spots extra attention. 
  • Ask for feedback: Preview your presentation in front of colleagues who will give you honest and constructive feedback.

How have you rehearsed for important presentations? To join the conversation, click "comments" on comments above.  We'd love to hear your feedback!

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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How to Manage An Unrealistic Boss

12/5/2023

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If your boss has unrealistic expectations, there are 3 things you can do rather than update your resume! 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, consultant and professor Liz Kislik, offers the following advice:
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  • Focus first on what you agree on. You and your boss, at least theoretically, have a joint mission and common goals, and emphasizing that alignment may give you the leeway to explain your personal realities. Be sure to share relevant information frequently and consistently.
  • Understand what your boss really wants. It’s unlikely that your boss is trying to be unrealistic or unfair. It’s more likely that they haven’t clearly communicated their rationale: what they want and why it’s important to them. Rather than just thinking “This is ludicrous” be sure you clarify what your boss actually wants.
  • Don’t knee-jerk. If your boss is simply “blue-sky-ing” you might not want to act at all — at least not right away. Instead, give them time to explore with you, follow up with clarifying questions, and then co-create what your next actions should be. 

“When all is said and done,” writes Kislik, “for as long as you stay in the job, you’re still responsible for helping your team and your boss be successful. And as frustrating as it can be to work for an unrealistic leader, your goal should be to satisfy as much of the organization’s mission as possible while maintaining your sanity and self-respect.”

Have you ever had an unrealistic boss, and how did you cope?  To join the conversation, click on "comments" above.
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Instead of Quitting, Try These Strategies

10/24/2023

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Are you dissatisfied with your job, but not in a position to leave? 

A recent Pew research study found that only half of American workers are “extremely” or “very” satisfied with their jobs. But let's face it: No matter how you feel about your job, quitting is not always an option.

Writing in The New York Times, Christina Caron spoke with experts who offered strategies for hanging in there. Here are 5 actions you can take to improve your situation:

  1. Get Curious:  Ask yourself what is really hampering you at work and identify what you can control. Can you speak with your manager about ways to make your job better for you? If not consider getting a fresh perspective from family or friends.
  2. Recalibrate your Expectations: What is it you really hope to get out of your job, and are your expectations realistic? Maybe this is a stopover in a five-year plan, with something to learn along the way.
  3. Redefine Ambition: If your ambition is being stymied at work, try to redirect it — at least temporarily — into working for your community or on personal projects.
  4. Look to your Co-Workers:  See if you can get together for after-work activities, from socializing to professional workshops.
  5. Ask for Accommodations: Sometimes it takes just a few minor adjustments to make work more enjoyable. Would you like more schedule flexibility or new work projects? It never hurts to ask.

Are you temporarily stuck in a job you don’t enjoy? What are you doing to make it more sustainable? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Ensure Your ideas Persuade

10/17/2023

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Are your ideas resonating, or being ignored?  Perhaps it’s not the ideas themselves but their delivery. 

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Anne Sugar, executive coach for the Harvard Business School Executive Program, offers four strategies you can use to help ensure your ideas resonate.
  • Think small. Presenting too many ideas at once can be overwhelming. To prevent your listeners’ eyes from glazing over, focus on a single concept or solution. Selling your best idea is a win that can lead to more. 
  • Share in 10 minutes or less. Assume that everyone has a limited bandwidth. Break your idea into simple elements.  (Consider our PRES model:  Point, Reason, Example, Summary)
  • Do more than point out the problem.  People don’t appreciate hearing the pitfalls of their plans unless the warnings are accompanied by constructive solutions. Ask yourself, “How can I help?” 
  • It's Not About You. Separate your ideas from your ego. Ask yourself how you can get your ideas to land with your audience.  What is their preferred communication style? 

Have you ever been frustrated with your ideas going unheeded, and what did you do? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above.

Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.

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Two Little Letters Help You Persuade

9/26/2023

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Actions are things we do — perhaps only once in a while — but identities are who we are. So by using identities to describe ourselves, we can influence how others see us (e.g. as a runner, versus someone who sometimes runs). Through this technique of adding “er” to words, we can also motivate others to perform better (e.g. “You are project leader”  versus “I want you to lead this project.”) So say Jonah Berger, author of Magic Words:  What to Say to Get Your Way, and his co-researcher Dan Pink. 

When children were asked “Can you be a helper in clean up?” versus “Can you help clean up?”, participation in that activity shot upward. When people were asked if they were voters, versus whether or not they would vote, many more were enthusiastic about voting.

With any pursuit, in time you become the thing you are learning to do. But you can  speed that learning curve along – for yourself and for others – by using descriptors that have to do with being rather than doing. Try it: You may well find it will require far less willpower for you and others to reach goals when you choose to embody the goal itself! 

What are some of your “er” identities, and what are those of the people you lead? How can you use these to influence  behavior? To join the conversation, click "comments" above.
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Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. 

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