 To get what you want, try saying nothing, or in the words of our book title, Be Quiet, Be Heard…
“A well-deployed silence can radiate confidence and connection. The trouble is, so many of us are awful at it.” So writes Rachel Feintzeig in the Wall Street Journal, and we couldn't agree more. Most of us rush in to fill any void in a conversation, but remaining still can reap untold benefits. Strategic silence can help in negotiations and selling. Instead of countering every point, try embracing a pause and soon you may find your counterpart jumping in with valuable information that will help you understand their needs and close. Sometimes holding your tongue can feel like going against biology. Humans are social animals, says Robert N. Kraft, professor emeritus of cognitive psychology at Ohio’s Otterbein University. “Our method of connecting — and we crave it — is talking.” For years, Kraft assigned his students a day without words, and many students also found that when forced to stop talking, they bonded better with their peers. Without pauses, we’re generally worse speakers, going off on tangents, stumbling over sounds, offering TMI (too much information), and maybe saying things we later regret. We can also put undue stress on ourselves, as talking to excess can raise our blood pressure, adrenaline and cortisol. So, the next time you are unsure of what to say, try saying nothing at all. Can you recall an instance when staying quiet helped you get what you wanted? To join the conversation, click on "comments" below. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.
0 Comments
 From casual interactions to formal presentations, there is one, simple, 3-step hack to help you get through to people when it matters most.
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Matt Abrahams, who teaches organizational behavior at Stanford Graduate School of Business, offers a simple hack to achieve this... Structure your message to cover "What?", "So what?", and "Now what?"
This framework is applicable to a vast number of situations. As Abrahams says, it organizes your thoughts, serves as a guidepost to those you are trying to influence, and renders information easy to follow and act on. It is equally useful in presentations, answering questions, and providing feedback. This structure supports your message, so that it is heard, internalized, and acted upon. Does this structure look like something you can use? We’d love to hear your results! To join the conversation, click on "comments" below. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Do we reward, promote and respect ultra-confident people, or doubt and distrust them? The answer: It depends on how they express it!
One way people express confidence is with words of faith in their own abilities. Another way is nonverbally, using body language and tone of voice. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Elizabeth R. Tenney, assistant professor at the Eccles School of Business at the University of Utah, reports that In a series of studies, researchers found that overconfidence can damage your reputation — but only if you express that confidence verbally. When you express confidence nonverbally, those negative consequences fade away. Talking about your likelihood of success by making bold predictions can backfire when results don't meet your projections. When this happens, your reputation can suffer. But communicating confidence nonverbally, can be seen as powerful and compelling: Confident people tend to speak in a louder vs soft voice, offering their own opinions, and generally conveying a larger presence. So how should you communicate confidence in a way that garners positive attention and influence in groups? According to this new research, when you express confidence verbally, your credibility may suffer. However, your expression of confidence nonverbally can be a significant advantage. The reason: nonverbal behavior is not so clearly tied to a specific, falsifiable claim as are verbal expressions. How do you evaluate whether someone seems confident, and what is your response if their results are not what you expected? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Have you ever received "feedback" that’s useless and annoying? Instead of asking for feedback, try asking for advice.
Feedback is backward looking. It is anchored in past behavior. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Dr. Amantha Imber, author of Time Wise and host of the podcast How To Work, suggests asking for advice instead. Advice-giving is a form of guidance that leads to thinking about future actions. Imber offers 4 steps to getting advice that will really help you improve:
When was the last time you asked for advice, and how did you do it? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  If you are considering a significant change in your organization, it is crucial to first take the emotional temperature of your members. But new research suggests that few leaders know how to do this.
In her survey of over 200 leading company executives, Patti Sanchez, chief strategy officer at consulting firm Duarte, Inc., found that 69% of respondents said they were planning or currently conducting a change effort. Unfortunately, half of these same execs said they hadn’t fully considered their team’s sentiment about the change. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Sanchez offers strategies for ensuring your team is motivated and onboard:
Do you know how the members of your organization feel about any changes you plan to implement? And if not, how might you find out? To join the conversation, click "comments" on below. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  The “real world” doesn’t care about your college GPA, and success is really based on three essential qualities.
In a commencement speech at Kean University this May, Neil deGrasse Tyson, esteemed scientist, author, and educator, argued that five years into the future no one would give a thought to college grades, and he exhorted graduates to focus instead on three essential qualities:
What qualities do you think really matter most in one’s life and career? To join the conversation, click "comments" below because we would really like to get your feedback! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  To get ahead, it’s good to be noticed by senior management, but how do you do it without antagonizing your own boss?
If your boss isn't being particularly useful in helping you advance your ideas or take advantage of opportunities, you may be tempted to go over their head. But, needless to say, this can present risks. As recounted in the Harvard Business Review, Dave MacKeen, CEO of Eliassen Group, a strategic consulting and talent solutions provider, and Chuck Cohen, Managing Director of Benco Dental, the largest, privately-owned dental distributor in the U.S., offer suggestions for demonstrating your true potential without alienating your direct manager:
What have you done to raise your profile, and how did your boss react? To join the conversation, leave a reply below. We would love to hear from you! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  “Big things happen during small talk,” says Matt Abrahams, Stanford instructor and host of the popular podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. He says "Small talk gets a bad rap", but it is actually an incredibly effective communications tool. He often challenges people to think about how many of their close friendships started with small talk – and the answer is, generally, quite a few.
“A lot of us put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be interesting," Abrahams explains. "We want to say exciting, valuable, relevant stuff, and it's the wrong mindset.” The trick, he maintains, is to lead with curiosity. He advises we think of an initial, casual conversation as akin to Hacky Sack. You serve to the other person and then they serve back to you. Good conversation is, by definition, collaboration. Some quick small talk tips:
Of course, if you're at a professional gathering, there's a chance you have a specific agenda in mind when starting a conversation, for example, looking for customers, investments, new hires, or useful information. In such cases, Abrahams says, “find hooks and ways of bridging to the topic you want to discuss so that it could become a natural part of the conversation.” Can you recall a significant business or personal relationship that began with small talk? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. We'd love to hear about your experiences! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Do you want to come off as evasive and arrogant in a job interview? If not, there are two words to avoid.
Most job interviews these days include some of what are known as ”behavioral questions.” These usually begin with phrases like, “Tell me about a time when…" or "Give me an example of…". These are designed to probe your past work experiences. Given the format, most replies job-seekers give will necessarily involve some version of the phrase "I did." What you want to avoid, conversely, is using the words “you should.” Writing In Forbes, Mark Murphy, the New York Times bestselling author whose latest book is Never Say These Words in a Job Interview, says responding with the words "you should," diverges from the personal to the impersonal, shifting the focus from your own experiences to general advice. And giving advice obscures the unique insights into your capabilities and personality that interviewers seek. Research backs this up. Murphy’s Leadership IQ study found that interview answers rated poorly by hiring managers use the word "you" almost 400% more than good interview answers. Bad interview answers also contain significantly more present and future tense verbs. Remember, the interviewer wants to learn about you and your past experience, specifically. Veering into generalities and pontifications can make your answers less relevant and less impressive. Did you ever say something you regretted in a job interview? To join the conversation, click "comments" below. c Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Being seen and recognized for your work can usher in new opportunities and move your career to the next level. So how do you become more visible?
According to Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of Trust Yourself, even introverts can find ways to play to their strengths and boost visibility.
What have you done to become more visible at your job, and what were the results? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above. We would love to hear about your experiences! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  It’s possible to fake emotional intelligence – like forgeries and knock-offs. But there are 3 ways to spot counterfeit EQ, not just in others but also in yourself.
Interacting from a place of emotional intelligence requires empathy, active listening, and self-awareness. But some leaders can counterfeit these emotions so skillfully that they can even fool themselves. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Ron Carucci, managing partner at Navalent and author of To Be Honest, says, “Our ability to express emotional intelligence is sometimes impaired by unacknowledged, unhealthy, emotional needs." If you want to genuinely communicate emotional intelligence, pay attention to these 3 common imitations:
How would you rate your EQ, as well as the leaders you work with most closely? Are there ways to become even more authentic? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Sometimes you just need one word to change someone’s mind.
Jonah Berger, Professor of Marketing at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School, compiled a list of “magic words” that can change the way you communicate. He discovered that using the word “because” while trying to convince someone to do something has a compelling result. He found that more people “will listen to you and do what you want” when you offer a justification for your requests. Berger points to a classic study from Harvard University where researchers sat in a university library and waited for someone to use the copy machine. Then, they walked up and asked to cut in front of the unknowing participant. They phrased their request in three different ways:
Both requests using “because” made the people already making copies more than 50 percent more likely to comply. Interestingly, even the second phrasing — which could be reinterpreted as “May I step in front of you to do the same exact thing you’re doing?” — was effective. The phrasing indicated that the stranger asking for a favor was at least being considerate about it, the study suggested. “Persuasion wasn’t driven by the reason itself,” Berger notes, “It was driven by the power of the word: because.” Have you noticed any reactions when you justify requests with “because”? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love hear about your experience with this one, magic word! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  While disagreeing may be uncomfortable, research tells us that diverse thinking is far more likely to lead to progress, innovations and breakthroughs than “nice” conversations where people hide what they really think.
But how do you foster productive debate on your team? Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Shane Snow, author of Dream Teams: Working Together Without Falling Apart, offers four tips:
How do you keep a debate on track when it seems to be veering? To join the conversation, click "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  But how does an informal leader motivate colleagues to support their initiatives and adopt their ideas? How can anyone become a go-to person that others look to for guidance and advice?
Writing in the Harvard Business Review, career and workplace journalist Rebecca Knight, outlines a plan for anyone who wants to promote an initiative. First, create a map of colleagues related to the issue you want to tackle. Second, craft your message with a concise elevator pitch. Third, cultivate allies by asking for advice and incorporating it. And lastly, develop your expertise by staying up-to-date on your topic. So, even if you’re not a formal leader at work, you can influence others with these 3 action steps. 3 Action Steps To Influence At Work:
What methods do you use to influence others at work? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.  Ever been in a situation where you’re getting resistance to your opinion? Try switching from “you” to “we”.
New research from Stanford University reveals how using “you” versus “we” affects how people respond to messages in settings such as online forums and a simulated workplace scenario. Their findings are notable: In adversarial contexts that held the potential for disagreement or conflict, messages that used “you” and “your” were less persuasive, less likely to be shared, and more likely to be censored than ones that employed “we” and “our.” People who participated in the study were also less inclined to interact or engage with the sources of messages that used “you” rather than “we.” “We’re not saying that ‘you’ invariably leads to worse outcomes,” study co-author Mohamed Hussein cautions. “We’re saying that when ‘you’ is used in an adversarial or conflict-ridden context, it has the potential to inadvertently lead to negative consequences.” “We” is more inclusive and lands less aggressively. “Most people would rather talk to a person who says ‘we got this wrong’ than ‘you got this wrong',” says the study’s other co-author, Zakary Tormala. Tormala and Hussein advise that if you’re trying to reach someone with an opposing view, be sure to signal that you are open to their perspective. Managing your pronouns is just one way to do that. What results occur when you change “you” messages to “we” messages? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above -- we'd love to hear from you! Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. |
Archives
May 2026
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
|
Links
Communication Capsule Blog Press/Media Resources Learning Products Organizational Culture Survey III Survey |
Glaser & Associates, Inc.
Executive Offices 1740 Craigmont Avenue, Eugene, OR 97405 541-343-7575 | 800-980-0321 |
© 2025 Glaser & Associates. All Rights Reserved.