Are you a good listener? When we pose this question to people in our learning events, most rate themselves as “above average” (a mathematical impossibility). When we ask what good listening consists of, the most common themes are: not interrupting, letting others know you are listening by using nonverbal encouragers (“uh-huh”, “mmm-hmm”) and paraphrasing, by repeating back what the other person has said. However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing great listening skills. Their four main findings:
Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively. As a listener have you engaged in any of these practices? What else has worked for you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear your feedback.
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A manager’s job and communication style must change as their team expands. Writing in The Harvard Business Review, Julia Zhuo, vice president of design at Facebook and author of The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks To You, explores some of the necessary adaptations.
Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that people would come from far and wide to hear Abe Lincoln speak, even when he was simply a prairie lawyer. From his “stage” atop a tree stump, Lincoln “could simultaneously educate, entertain, and move his audiences,” she writes. Although times have changed, human nature has not, and Lincoln’s speaking techniques are as compelling as ever. Writing In The Harvard Business Review, Harvard instructor and communication author Carmine Gallo credits Lincoln’s gift for storytelling as key to his ability to captivate audiences. She goes on to enumerate some key differences between mere “presenters” and compelling storytellers.
What might you do to add elements of great storytelling to your next presentation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear from you. Today’s world is primed for instant gratification. We often feel pressure to reply immediately to emails and texts, and even in conversation. We fear “dead air” and so hasten to say no something…anything...even when responding to a complex question. However, numerous business leaders—notably Apple’s Tim Cook and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos—are known for taking a pause in conversation in order to carefully consider what they will say next. Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied, writing in Inc., notes that while those on the receiving end of 10, 20, even 30 seconds of silence may feel uncomfortable at first, their reward is a thoughtfully considered answer…the result of critical thinking that would be impossible without taking time. According to Bariso, embracing “awkward silence” allows us to:
When was the last time you allowed a buffer of silence before addressing a complicated topic—and how do you feel when others do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. We would love to hear from you! A recent study showed 57 percent of employees quit because of their boss. Another 14 percent have left multiple jobs because of their managers and an additional 32 percent have seriously considered leaving because of their manager. “This suggests companies could be looking in the wrong place as they search for opportunities to attract, retain and grow talent,” says Carina Parisella, Workforce Tribe Leader at ANZ. Parisella cites a Google study, Project Aristotle, on building the perfect team that proved human bonds matter as much at work as anywhere else. “The behaviors that create psychological safety — conversational turn-taking and empathy — are part of the same unwritten rules we often turn to as individuals when we need to establish a bond,” the study found. “And those human bonds matter as much at work as anywhere else. In fact, they sometimes matter more.” While some may think an empathic, approachable leader cannot be strong and bold, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, in her book Leading With Empathy, emphasizes her desire to lead with kindness: “I think one of the sad things that I’ve seen in political leadership is – because we’ve placed over time so much emphasis on notions of assertiveness and strength – that we probably have assumed that it means you can’t have those other qualities of kindness and empathy. And yet, when you think about all the big challenges that we face in the world, that’s probably the quality we need the most.” The same holds true for business leaders. “Work is a big part of our lives [and] being happy and whole at work means I am truly living”, says Parisella. “If you can spread a bit of kindness and joy at work, then do it – the evidence tells us that performance and productivity will only increase.” Have you ever had a kindhearted leader at work, and how did that impact your experience? To join the conversation, click "comments" just above the photo. We'd like to get your feedback. Do you try to avoid arguing with your partner? If so you are hardly alone. Many couples go out of their way to avoid quarrels. But Janice Webb, PhD., a therapist writing in Psychology Today shares research suggesting that this avoidance can be a self-defeating strategy. “Suppressed feelings of frustration, annoyance, anger, or hurt may build up enough to cause a major eruption or lie under the surface for decades, driving a couple farther and farther apart.” Webb compares healthy arguing to a bolt of lightning: “Just like lightning crystallizes the electric charge and clears it from the air during a storm, fights can calm relationships by crystallizing and clearing the negative emotion between the partners.” There is a natural cycle that characterizes a healthy relationship, says the author: harmony (which cannot last forever) rupture (the challenging part), and repair. The repair process strengthens a relationship in three ways:
To join the conversation, click "comments" above, we’d really like to get your feedback. For a leader who wants to inspire, few things are more important than communicating with employees in a positive way. Writing in Inc., Marcel Schwantes, founder and Chief Human officer of Leadership From the Core, says “there are certain undeniable phrases that, if we use them more often with team members, will result in an increase in trust and loyalty.” Schwantes offers five examples of what great leaders will genuinely put into words to engage minds and hearts:
When was the last time you used one of these phrases, or heard your manager use one? What was the impact? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We would really to hear your feedback. During conflict, it’s typical to move into a “flight or fight response.” Our brain is ‘hijacked’ by our amygdala, seat of fear and anxiety, and we may lose access to rational thinking. Our face may redden and our speech quicken — and because of “mirror neurons” the person to whom we are speaking may become agitated as well. However, writing in the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo, author of The HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, says, “It’s possible to interrupt this physical response, manage your emotions, and clear the way for a productive discussion.” Here are some tips for calming yourself down once you’ve gotten worked up:
How did you handle the last conversation you had when you were “worked up” and what do you wish you might have done differently? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We would really like to hear your feedback. Remote workforces present unique challenges. So leaders must be more intentional than ever in promoting engagement and the productivity that increases as a result. Managing a fully remote company, Lou Elliott-Cysewski, co-founder and CEO of Coolperx, a net climate-neutral merchandising company, shares the lessons she has learned in Inc.:
What has been your greatest challenge in working remotely, and how has your leadership addressed it? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We would really like to hear your feedback! As we navigate the Great Resignation, the need for empathic leaders has come center stage. People are unwilling to work for managers prone to autocracy, micromanaging, and narcissism — and they will resign in an effort to find a more welcoming culture. It is crucial to recognize, however, that the drive for results and the practice of empathy are not mutually exclusive. Writing in Inc., Phillip Kane, CEO and Managing Partner of Grace Ocean business consultants, contends that effective leaders understand that results matter. But they also realize that results are heightened with kindness. Such leaders recognize and reward the contributions of others, prize the mental and emotional well-being of those who work for them, and know better than to destroy trust over something like a missed objective. Kane concludes, “If you've believed, like many have, that delivering results and caring for others is an either/or proposition, change your thinking, and then change those you entrust to lead your team. Choose caring, empathic leaders. They are, for good reason, all the rage right now.” To what extent do leaders in your organization display empathy, and what is the effect? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the photo). We’d really like to hear about your experience and get your feedback! As employee turnover continues to rise, employers are striving to discern what workers really want. Of course benefits are important, but they are far from the whole picture. Writing in Inc., Marcel Schwantes, founder and Chief Human Officer of Leadership from the Core contends that “good leadership takes skill, heart, head, hands, and a willingness to serve others.” He offers 3 actions leaders can take to ensure people stay longer:
Is your organization doing what it should to help employees continue to develop and build on their strengths? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the photo). We're really like to about your experiences with attracting & retaining employees! If you want to hire the right kind of employees and keep them motivated, an extensive new study from Bain may prove helpful. The project’s authors spent a year surveying 20,000 workers in 10 countries (the United States, Germany, France, Italy, Japan, China, India, Brazil, Indonesia, and Nigeria) as well as conducting in-depth interviews with more than 100 employees. As recounted in Inc., the study concluded that there are six work-orientation archetypes, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Problems can arise when employers are seeking one type but hire another. The archetypes are:
Do you recognize yourself, or any of your employees, in any of these archetypes? Does your organization skew toward one type in particular or is there a balance? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We'd really like to hear your feedback and experiences! Is it acceptable to let go of the pressure to participate in back-and-forth work-related conversations? Cal Newport, computer science professor and author of A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, suggests practicing messaging “triage.” In a recent paper, researchers concluded that constantly attending to emails, texts, Slack messages, and Zoom requests can lead to cognitive overload that “may result in ineffective information processing, confusion, loss of control, psychological stress — or even an increase of depressive symptoms.” When we practice triage, we make practical real-time decisions about which messages warrant an instantaneous response, which we need to think about before answering, and which aren’t really worth our attention. Triaging may feel uncomfortable at first, but you can start small by cutting back on reply pleasantries like “thanks for the update” and “hope you are well”…which might be considered communication clutter. As Newport argues, “In the context of digital communication, the sender often prefers avoiding the receipt of additional messages when possible.” If you don’t reply immediately to a message during your downtime or vacation or even when you are just preoccupied or exhausted, Erica Dhawan, author of Digital Body Language, says, “Don’t apologize. Just reply when you can. Or don’t.” Still feel uncomfortable? Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute, which offers etiquette advice, says, “You have to be a civil and decent person, but you don’t have to give your time and attention to everyone who asks for it.” Do you ever choose to ignore work-related messages and what are your criteria for doing so? Have there been repercussions? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We’d love to hear your feedback! Extraordinary teams excel at fostering relatedness among members. New research cited in The Harvard Business Review suggests such teams have found subtle ways of leveraging social connections during the pandemic. Doing so requires creating opportunities for genuine, authentic relationships to develop. Based on his organization’s research, Ron Friedman, Ph.D, psychologist, author, and founder of ignite80, a performance development company, presents five key characteristics of high-performing teams that highlight the vital role of close connection among colleagues. Successful teams:
How has your team been fostering connections during this period of hybrid work? To join the conversation, click "comments" above (just below the picture). We'd really love to hear from you! If you’ve been swearing more in the past year or so — even at work — you’re not alone. The corporate and financial research platform Sentieo recently combed through a database of around 9,000 conference call transcripts looking for expletives. They found 166 transcripts that contained them from 2021. That's a significant jump from previous years. Just 104 transcripts contained profanity in 2020, 112 in 2019, and 92 in 2018. So swearing at work appears to be up. Frustration with the pandemic and a work-from-home informality may both be factors in the rise of swearing. Our question: Is cutting loose with language always a bad thing? Experts quoted in Inc. say “not necessarily.” Michael Adams, author of In Praise of Profanity, argues that swearing has many useful social functions including “bringing us together.” There’s an intimacy to profanity precisely because it is somewhat taboo. "Bad words," Adams writes, "are unexpectedly useful in fostering human relations because they carry risk.... We like to get away with things and sometimes we do so with like-minded people." Adams believes that swearing can also help us appear slightly more vulnerable and more authentic — both useful qualities in relationship building. No one is suggesting you begin your next Zoom meeting by imitating a drunken pirate. But for those who are savvy enough to navigate delicate situations, an occasional swear word, science attests, may have genuine utility. Have you ever uttered swear words at work, and how do you feel when co-workers do so? To join the conversation, click "comments" above just below the picture — we'd love to hear your thoughts! |
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